The last “vote to save” results of Celebrity Big Brother 2012 were announced Friday night. In a result that stunned everyone who had been ignoring the most popular internet polls, Kirk Norcross was evicted, followed a short time later by Natalie Cassidy.
How did Natalie, the star of the premiere, fall so far in two short weeks? Natalie had every Big Brother UK cliche down:
- I don’t want to win, I’m just here for the experience.
- I love everyone.
- I’m just being myself.
There’s also my favorite, “I love so-and-so, but…” This is how, in Big Brother UK dialect, you precede every comment about people you hate. It’s the British equivalent of an American Southerner’s “Bless their heart.”
Unfortunately for Natalie, none of her savvy game play (let’s face it, that’s what it is) won her the fan base she needed to survive this week’s mass nominations.
As for Kirk, it appeared that his entire fan base went to the eviction show and forgot to vote, judging by their vocal unhappiness at the results.
Kirk didn’t get the memo about the online popularity polls, either.
This is nothing new. The same thing happened last season, when funny, fascinating fan fave Aaron won after topping every poll and vote all season long, but faced an angry, booing crowd. He later said he actually feared for his life onstage – after winning a popularity contest.
Confidential to the Borehamwood crowd: next time, please remember to vote before you leave the house. Actually, strike that. Please don’t bother, you have horrible taste.
All of this week’s nominees crowded into the Diary Room prior to the not-that-shocking result.
Before the eviction, the house saw Michael going even further off the rails, after face to face nominations escalated his conflict with Denise. This time Michael began spouting crazy theories about the public voting him back in so that he could vote his enemies out. Who does he think he is, Brendon Villegas?
Big Brother also asked the house to dispatch the four best actors to the Diary Room for a task, and Natalie, Michael, Denise, Karissa and Kristina were quickly and correctly chosen. (Yes, that’s four. Twins, remember?)
But upon being presented with white unitards for the task, Michael balked, telling Big Brother that his dignity was not for sale.
The man who sat in a trash bin for the better part of a day earlier this week had a change of heart.
Michael did participate in the task, just not in a unitard. The game involved the unitard-clad housemates acting out popular turns of phrase with oversized props, with teams watching via remote camera to guess the phrases.
Karissa and Kristina quickly became experts at breaking eggs during tasks this week.
Ironically, when Frankie Cocozza’s team correctly suggested the metaphor “big fish in a little pond” as an answer, Frankie only recognized the phrase the other way around. Oh, the sad, overwhelmed plight of an X Factor reject.
In other news, Romeo started wearing a name tag this week, to remind us that he was still, in fact, on the show.
Who’s that guy?
Confidential to Denise Welch: when you’ve got Playboy Playmates questioning your self-respect because you disrobed in a jacuzzi? Lay off the booze.
Kirk’s eviction brought an end to “Kinky”, leaving Frankie without a partner to inappropriately goof off with. That’s probably for the best, given that their best moment this week, as featured on Bit on the Side, involved Frankie accidentally ingesting hot tub water and projectile vomiting.
Frankie tries to hit on the twins by showing them where he hides his condoms. That’s not a joke, that is actually what is happening in this picture.
Only seven housemates remain – or eight, you know the drill.
Will Michael be the third winner in a row who started the season as the oldest man in the house? Could Britain’s most hated Playmates pull out enough love to push themselves over the top? It’s worth noting that they single-handedly evicted both Natalie and Kirk, who were only up for eviction due to the twins’ nominations this week.
Will we see yet another winner forced to choose between parading down the catwalk and fleeing for their life? Or will the eviction night crowd finally figure out how to work a phone and propel their own favorites to the top?
Final voting is now open, and the two housemates with the lowest votes will be sent packing in a penultimate eviction next Wednesday.