#BB14 Power Rankings Week 7

Jun Song pulls no punches on this week's scorecard!

#BB14 Power Rankings Week 7

With the RNC and football going on, last night was a busy night. But at 3am in Belgium, I was up and ready to see either Britney or Danielle go home. I knew it would be Britney. We all did.

#bbPunish #bbPunish #bbPunish #bbPunish #bbPunish #bbPunish #bbPunish
#bbPunish #bbPunish #bbPunish #bbPunish #bbPunish #bbPunish #bbPunish
#bbPunish #bbPunish

Sorry. I just needed to get a few more of those out. That was me last night. We knew it was going to be either Joe or Jenn. Right? I wanted a real punishment. What I got was a hula hoop. If you don’t follow feeds then the hula hoop went over your head. But I’ll explain better later.

On to what’s left of the once very full house:

BRITNEY: Oh Britney. This was the week I was finally going to award you some points I cheated you out of this summer. But now you’re gone. Sigh. You were figuring things out along the way yet you still sat there and CRIED at Dan’s funeral. There are so many good and bad things about you but at the end of the day, you suck at this game. But that’s okay because you’re pretty and married and will find another job doing what you do best: never shutting your mouth. I would love to sit and shoot the shit with you one day. Thanks for sticking up for Ian while Frank was laying into him. It was nice seeing someone stick up for anybody for a change. But it’s too bad you were more obsessed with the smell of the Have Not room when Dan came out of Solitary Disco Confinement instead of catching on to the stench of Dan’s very transparent and used condom salesman speech. End of story. OVERALL POINTS: FAIL

SHANE: You were actually the first to start crying during Dan’s funeral (-95 points) in dramatic fashion with a flutter in your eye once or twice before the waterworks flowed. It was very Nathan Lane in Birdcage. Um, you scored ZERO points in the Draw Something POV competition (-25 points). And while Britney and Ian were trying not to let their eyeballs fall out of their sockets during the POV Ceremony, you looked like you were contemplating taking a soothing bubble bath. Or a dump. Whichever suited your mood the best. Do you have any idea of what’s going on in the house (-15 points)? Without your competition wins you are as delightful to watch on the feeds as the fish in the HOH tank. Good job coming in behind Ian during last night’s HOH competition though (+50 points). And you actually did the best thing for yourself in voting Britney out (+100 points). The coaches have to go. OVERALL POINTS: +15 points

IAN: You seem to have lost your potty mouth plug because you’ve been spewing big bad words like “bullshit” and “horseshit” and “f*ck” and “motherf*ck” all week. You have to stop. You’re not good at it (-35 points). I’d much rather hear you go through the Periodic Table of Elements, Walter White style. But you won the Pandora’s Box Veto (+65 points) under tremendous pressure, and Dan being a dick, and you took another HOH (+20 points). I have to admit watching your facial expressions while Britney was put up in place of Dan really tugged at my heart strings. It was like watching an after-school special where the nerdy kid next door, Ian, has to say goodbye to his babysitter crush, Britney, at the end of the summer. I’m happy for you that you got to host the POV Competition, but hearing you butcher words like “Or Devours” instead of hors d’oeuvre and “Skoo-er” instead of skewer nearly killed me (-15 points). And how on earth did you get all misty eyed and mesmerized by Dan’s funeral (-45 points)? You know his M.O.! And you know Dan’s sister does not need Dan’s assistance setting up dates. I appreciate you owning up to your mistake last week though (+25 points). OVERALL POINTS: +15

FRANK: You were all over the place this week and wore yourself out (-55 points). I appreciate your passion but sometimes you really just need to zip it. But keep your shirt off. Thanks. Well, you won HOH in a big way (+60 points) and then you went and drowned yourself in green goo, gave yourself 24-hour chum, and got stuck in a carrot suit and gave up a chance at HOH the following week (-50 points) in an attempt to win POV, only to be DQ’d for cheating (-20 points). And with the POV essentially in your hands anyway, via Jenn, you still went and saved Dan this week. What was the point of this week for you? Ian had to wear a dog suit and he never chased his tail the way you have been lately. I get that you “have nobody left” but you need to follow through on you gut decisions otherwise you’re just The Carrot Who Cried Wolf in Dan’s Clothing. You still are and will always be a big target in this game. You say you’ve “been stabbed in the back a million times already”, yet I feel like you sometimes offer your back up and let them. What Would Nana Do?!?! Come on! You have to win this for Nana! But you did get a coach out at the end of the day (+65 points). Kudos. But you need to stop the “Mi dos” because it doesn’t mean “me too” like you think it does, but “me two” which is No Bueno, Frank. And also no bueno is “dedicating” nominations in evicted HGs names (-25 points). Come on now. OVERALL POINTS: -25

JENN: You are always the last to know everything (-15 points). Even Julie Chen knew Ian had screwed Frank and Boogie yet it was like Frank had told you an ancient Eudy secret when he told you about it all. Your default response to strategy talk or news revelations is “oh my gahhhd”. But WHERE did you come from to win that POV competition (+35 points)?! In addition knock Dan out in the last round and foil his efforts to win POV for himself (+5 points)?! Who cares. You take him off the block anyway (-25 points)?! Even though you’re gonna be on slop for the rest of the summer. But actually, I have to give you props for going all in and taking that slop (+35 points) because it did show you have heart, no matter how very rough you are around the edges. And after having burned my fishnet top during my season, it was entertaining to see your clothes burn (+25 points). But please don’t use words like “Nudey-Poody” (-25 points). Not everything has to rhyme like Danielle’s fake kindergarten class. What I want to know is: How did you not say something or just laugh when Dan said Dan said you are the ONLY lesbian he’s ever met? That felt
very odd to me. You are the kind of person Dan needs in that house (-15 points) and you’ll keep riding the free ride train. Jenn City meets Jennis Rodman, next stop. OVERALL POINTS: +20

JOE: You are such a hot mess that it’s almost getting endearing (+25 points). But you are still gross to me as someone who feeds mouths (-45 points). I appreciated you having something back to say to Frank while he was all mouthing off his adrenaline rush. “Do you know how this game is played?” that you threw back at him was a pretty good comeback I must say. You actually scored points during the first HOH competition I was so impressed (+15 points). But this last Endurance HOH you were out first (-5 points) as expected and your punishment was to hula hoop on command for 24 hours, if I’m correct. Charming. And you didn’t even get to play in the last POV Competition, which sucks for you. But it doesn’t matter. You are just cooking and otherwise contaminating the house and bodies in that house towards the end of summer (-15 points). They say ignorance is bliss and I believe you are pretty blissful in that house right now (+35 points) despite your cries of anguish in the diary room. OVERALL POINTS: +10

DAN: You turned around in 24 hours what every other coach couldn’t do in a month of being in that house with you (+80 points). Congratulations for getting Frank (+25 points) to convince Jenn (+25 points) to use the POV on you (+15 points) and not Danielle (+5 points). Your bullshit would not have worked with more worthy opponents, but in that house what is important is being able to work with what CBS gives you. And so if it was a funeral you had to stage to make it happen, it was a smashing success (+10 points). But I really do have a problem with the whole use of The Bible thing. It’s unnecessary. You can win without using it as a ticket into Frank’s HOH room, can’t you (-50 points)? I watched you a lot on the feeds as of
late and I thank you for giving us something to watch (+10 points). But I still find you smarmy (-20 points)?. And when you cried in the diary room telling us all dramatically that you live for three things: “My wife and my family, coaching, and this game,” I was screaming in my head that’s four things not three hey Dan! And I think you may have flipped a switch during the Pandora’s Box Veto Competition because you went into asshole mode and Dan The Evangelist disappeared. Woah. You did tell us in the diary room that your intent is to go to final two with Frank, so I look forward to seeing how this unfolds (+5 points). And P.S. people wrote in saying I should award you more points for keeping your cool during Boogie’s tantrum and they are right, I should (+5 points). There. I’m stingy. OVERALL POINTS: +100

DANIELLE: You must be thrilled to the heavens and back that Frank called you a “victim of circumstance” when he nominated you next to Dan. You love being a victim, period. But everyone lets you, just like everyone let’s Dan do his thing, and so this is a good twosome you have (+15 points). Plus you have Shane, who worked for your safety (+25 points) while he was the last one standing with Ian in the Endurance HOH. You are so craved for attention that you jump at the opportunity to be shackled to Britney. I’m happy for you though that you got all splattered with paint because it was funny to hear Jenn drooling all over the place giving you all sorts of compliments in the diary room about it. She’s so hot for you Danielle. Eternal thanks for providing screencaps of your face as Dan lay into you during his funeral (+25 points) although I should probably be thanking him. Whatevs. It makes me want to spray paint your face if not for the fact that my Mac would be ruined when I watch you on feeds sometimes. Especially when you say things like, “Dan, I would have gone home for you”. Well, WTF are you doing in that house if not to win for yourself (-35 points)?! Ugh. They didn’t show it on television but you’ve been dying from some rash and ailment on the feeds for days now. I guess you survived, so hooray. OVERALL POINTS: +30

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Before we get to the scoreboard, just a few housekeeping notes:

MOST NEEDING EVICTION: Pandora’s Box. It’s getting old so if we just rename it the Producer’s Box then we can all move on and congratulate Frank for winning $1.05 + $7.11 +$3,333.33 and laugh at Dan for losing two POV opportunities that were lined up for him to win. Me no likey Pandora’s Box.

TWITTER VIP OF THE WEEK: Ian (+20 points)

Big Brother 14 Tweet

I got a specific request from Ms. Jen Monti asking that I give you “tons” of points. I’m very greedy though so if tons means 20 to you then I award you tons.

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And at the end of this seventh week of BB: Ian’s taken over the #1 spot yet again! And Dan’s making moves!

Big Brother Power Rankings Jun Song


  • http://twitter.com/schmoggin David Lightman

    looks like Ian is number 1 on your list and Dan & Shane are tied for second. “Jun Song pulls no Punches….” under the headline? I WANT to see punches, damn it.

    • http://twitter.com/JunDishes Jun Song

      Hahahaah! I’m not much of a puncher. But I will cut a bitch :)

  • Jurby

    ah yes, all this advice and opinions coming from someone who FLOATED the ENTIRE season that you were on, so much so that you managed to float your way to winning! Jun, you should have NEVER won and you know it!

    • Funnybeatmeup

      And yet you took the time to look her up, go to reality nation, create a disquis profile and comment…

      • http://twitter.com/JunDishes Jun Song

        Ha! Lots of work this Jurby put in :)

    • HR

      10 seasons and $500,000 later I’m sure she really cares about your opinion.

      • http://twitter.com/JunDishes Jun Song

        It was one of the best summers for me ever! :)

    • gato

      Hey Alison!!!!!!!!!

      • http://twitter.com/JunDishes Jun Song

        Hahahaha. Ali is happily married and about to have a baby, no? Maybe it’s her cousin.

    • http://twitter.com/DeanoBrown2010 Dean Brown

      There are 2 types of floating…

      The “Joe Type” of floating involves doing nothing all summer, annoying nobody and doing whatever people tell you to do!!

      The floating Jun did, involved knowing when to be quiet and when to speak up… who to make deals with and when to go back on those deals… Who to allign with and the correct time to jump ship… Not to mention spending the WHOLE summer manipulating the house to think the way she wanted them to think!!

      Jun had more strategy than most of the “greatest players ever” that people speak of…
      Do some research before making stupid comments and embarrassing yourself!!

      • http://twitter.com/JunDishes Jun Song

        WORD! Get him Dean! :)

    • http://twitter.com/JunDishes Jun Song

      Love you too Jurby. Please come back again next week! :)

  • http://twitter.com/MarluvsBB Marie Hudson

    “smarmy”… that’s it!

    • http://twitter.com/JunDishes Jun Song

      Yup. Ew. Hahahaha!

  • Lucy

    Ian’s science lesson during the HOH comp was “comedy gold” – his words, not mine. Especially with Shane saying “Uh hu, yea, exactly” after each point, just like he does when anyone tries to talk game w/ him. Coincidence? Dense? You tell me.

    • http://twitter.com/JunDishes Jun Song

      Shane is a hot hot mess. He needs to go back to his small town in Vermont and carry on what he had going on before he got all wrapped up in this mess. :)

  • Hannah

    I love Britney! She’s so snarky & the wittiest BB player ever! If Elisabeth Hasselback from Survivor went on The View, Britney should go on The Talk or something, she’d be so funny!

    I do think she played a good game though, all it takes is one person to get you out, and Frank was her only downfall, or else I think she would have sailed to final 2.

    And don’t you love her friendship with Ian? It was pulling my heartstrings when she was near tears defending Ian against Frank in his outrage attack, and that heart to heart with Ian was really sweet.

    Ian “Will we be friends outside the house?”
    Brit “Are you serious? Duh. Of course we will!”

    LOVE the blog Jun!! And I know if you were in the house, you would see right through Dan’s BS. I hate how he pulled the “I wanted to keep Janelle in here card” to win America’s love. So lame.

    • http://twitter.com/JunDishes Jun Song

      I thought Britney and Ian were adorable together. Funny how they came together :)

  • Tuniciaa

    Jun Song, i feel your “love” for Danielle.

    • http://twitter.com/JunDishes Jun Song

      Looooooooove :)

  • Rick

    Awesome as usual!

    Among recent winners (ie: since the last All-Stars season), Dan is by far the best and most deserving, in my opinion (then again, his competition among winners includes Adam and Jordan, so maybe that’s not saying much). He is smart and persuasive, and in “Big Brother” that translates to effective strategy. I don’t know that he’ll make it to the end, but I’m rooting for him to win.

    As for Frank, he’s great in competitions, but am I alone in thinking he is terrible strategically? He was so wrapped up in Boogie that he didn’t work any other angles, so when Boogie (and Ashley) left, he had no fall-back. Then, he only teamed up with Dan, however superficially, after Dan proposed it. Frank would probably beat anyone in that house for the win, but I don’t know if I believe he deserves it.

    Ian has actually been pretty great strategically, but I don’t know if some of the potential jury members (ie: Frank, Jenn, Dan, and for mostly emotional reasons, Ashley) respect him enough as a player to give him their vote to win.

    • Rick

      Also, oddly, no one who has ever won HoH or PoV this season has been voted out.. That trend will continue if Jenn goes this week. even Willie was expelled, not voted out. For a group so intent on taking out competition threats, they haven’t really accomplished that at all.

      • http://twitter.com/JunDishes Jun Song

        Interesting point! These are the details I find most entertaining season to season. :) I didn’t realize that!

    • http://twitter.com/JunDishes Jun Song

      Dan is definitely different from other winners. Everyone’s a little different. What he did last week is Wikipedia worthy and then some :)

  • Dawna Arndt

    Love your snarkiness! Guess we don’t need Brit after all. Too many points for Danielloonie! Everyone else agree 100%

    • Msouthgate

      I soooo agree..I’ve been waiting for someone else to acknowledge how “cookoo’s nest” she is. She needs help for her insecurities…BIGTIME!!! wawawawawa…me me me me…focus on me….did anyone see her flaunt her boobs, after Joe was talking about them??? They talked about fake boobs, and how fake ones stick up when lying down…what does daniellooonie do??? HAHAHA LIE down on her back in front of everyone…cookoos nest cookoos nest!!! I hate how she keeps repeating…you have my word…but she sure isn’t using her words by telling shayne and brit that she screwed them!!!!! HMMM Maybe she is fake…

      • http://twitter.com/JunDishes Jun Song

        Danielle = WTF

    • http://twitter.com/JunDishes Jun Song

      Hahaha. I think I’m pretty fair! Or maybe not. :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lynda-Perky/100002711535427 Lynda Perky

    I realise it is easy to dislike Jenn, because of her looks and mannerisms, but she was not the last to know everything this week. Danielle had told her about Ian days ago but she was asked not to reveal that she knew so she played dumb to Frank. She did not believe Dan”s funeral act and said so when Dan ran off with Frank. She had the courage to take heat for removing Dan even if she was critisized, they all ignore and avoid her like the plague anyway. You did not give her the points she deserved.

    Ian tried to throw his 1st HOH win because he did not want to get his hands dirty. He made excuses for his noms of Frank and Ashley. I loved when Frank took him down verbally, not too mean but was not afraid to stand up to Ian, who started it, when everyone was protecting him as if he will break (Frank was politically incorrect). Ian is not as fragile as many seem to think.

    • http://twitter.com/JunDishes Jun Song

      Hmmmmm…I have to reconsider the points for Jenn. You do bring up good points. I must review. Thanks. :)

      Hahahaha. Yeah. Ian looked pretty surprised when he won his first HOH. I watched the Ian/Frank fight live and it was AWESOME!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lynda-Perky/100002711535427 Lynda Perky

    Love Jen Monti’s tweet about the Astronomy lesson. Soo funny!

    Pandora’s Box DOES need to be evicted, good idea.

    “Me dos” right? I am so afraid people are going to pick this up like they did with “that’s how I roll”

    • http://twitter.com/JunDishes Jun Song

      Or “no bueno”. Sigh. Blech.

  • lalaguy

    Wow. You are rude, and undeniably judgmental. I would love to see you go into the game and do better. Please, and thank you.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lynda-Perky/100002711535427 Lynda Perky

      Jun Won Season 4 of BB winning $500,000.00, you must be new to BB

    • Merriska_carrier

      She won you idiot.

    • http://twitter.com/JunDishes Jun Song

      Oh come on! It’s all for fun! Even the people I write about know it :)

  • Gaborrr

    Guess they didn’t listen to the real punishment where we said Joe had to wash his hands :( Am I alone in thinking I would have thrown pork rinds or sg at Dan when he did his captain yawn speech? So you’re saying Shane is pretending to be a straight woman??!!! +100 points So you’re thinking Kelly won’t be dating Ian?? I’ve been so misted :( ** I think there are many who’d offer their backs for a stabbing Haha “[at Joe]You are just cooking and otherwise contaminating the house” Bahahaha You wanna spray paint Dani until your Mac is ruined?? Ahahahhahahahahahah

    • http://twitter.com/JunDishes Jun Song

      I have spray paint handy. :)

  • Elijah Price

    -25 points–what is your problem, woman? What in the world does little ol’ Frank have to do to get some points out of you? Why are you pencil whipping this poor innocent guy? He’s way too young to be one of your ex-boyfriends, so it can’t be revenge–can it? (Yeah, I just took off the gloves, Baby.) So what is it? Is it because he has a thinner waste? (oooo, age and weight, how dare I?) I don’t know. I just don’t get it. You’re just flat out mean, I guess.

    Winning all these POVs is getting pretty boring, so he’ll have to do something different this week. Ian–you little Poindexter closet-stalker–you’re screwed.

    • http://twitter.com/invest43 Invest43

      Hey Eli, Frank took a lot of punishments (which more than likely will seal his losing this season) just to get Dan out, only to take Dan off the block. Like Jun said, what was the point of his HOH? I think Jun was being generous with -25.

      • http://twitter.com/JunDishes Jun Song

        Hahaha. Yeah. It’s so frustrating. It’s never a good idea to go back on your initial “gut” decision and that’s what Frank did.

    • http://twitter.com/JunDishes Jun Song

      Ha. I love Frank! I do! But I will still deduct points from him when I want, how much I want. :)

  • LosPollosHermanos

    Meh – Britney doesn’t suck at this game. Fact is she was going to likely win this game if Dan went this week – which is why Dan targeted her for his replacement. She improved her game from BB12 by a million-fold. She was set up perfectly going into that veto ceremony. Brit always said ‘if you’re too comfortable, that’s when you get sent home’. Unfortunately for her she got too comfortable at the wrong time.

    Dan is truly the greatest of all time, and he was smart to take out Brit.

    • http://twitter.com/JunDishes Jun Song

      Are you Gus Fring?!?!? :) Ah! I love it.

      That’s what I meant though. Britney’s improved sure, but she got lax and you can’t ever be that comfortable while you’re still in that house. Sad.

  • http://twitter.com/DeanoBrown2010 Dean Brown

    It was amazing that someone like Brit, who is sooo fast to call BS on anyone, sat there and ate up all of that funeral crap!! After that she kind of deserved to go home!! I will miss her though, now we’re just gonna get more of Dan’s big, shouty, over-acted DRs!! =[

    Dan can practically blame himself for Ian winning the Veto!! Ian was saving his coins until Dan started being an ass, which prompted Ian to go try the machine anyways!!

    Frank is letting his comp wins go to his head… His arguments with Ian all week have been about him letting Dan manipulate him… Yet he ends his HOH by letting Dan manipulate HIM into saving him!! Little less shouting and a little more using whatever brain he has will help Frank!!

    OMG Danielle’s face when Dan laid into her was maybe the best thing I’ve EVER seen!! haha…

    Awesome blog again Jun, don’t worry about those crazies returning, seems they’ve already been silenced by the majority!! :)

    • http://twitter.com/JunDishes Jun Song

      That’s what I don’t get! Did they put something in everyone’s food/drink before that funeral happened?! Hahaha.

      Sigh. Frank’s a dork. He probably needs to just have some sex and blow off steam and he wouldn’t be that bad.

      Thanks for always stopping by and leaving a comment!

  • bjo2298

    Please give Shane -25 points for constantly saying “Gotch ya” after everyone has to re-explain things to him. He is SO dense!!!!!! On the live feeds you hear this over and over again. Also your comment on Jenn’s reaction when Frank told her about the quackpack was wrong. Frank was the last to know…….Danielle had told Jenn about it days ago. Love to read your rankings!

    • http://twitter.com/JunDishes Jun Song

      Hahaha. I will make a note of that. -25 points :) He IS dense isn’t he?! :)

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/FIFQSX7QW53AZMBC47FYLGX6TQ JO

    ok, I guess were not in order. When did you do this judging because I don’t see you saying anything about ian winning hoh? damn. The only one I like in the house is Ian. He was a dweeb and still is. no one ever though he would have any power or brains to do anything, he was a underdog and that is why I love him. Course I loved janelle but she got out early. Loved for how she was on the other two seasons winning everything but the prize. I like fighters and if I watch have to go for Ian! all though can’t stand britt and he was on her side.

    • http://twitter.com/JunDishes Jun Song

      I loved Ian from the start :)

      Oh, I gave Ian 20 points for HOH, it’s in there :)

      Janelle’s GREAT for Big Brother. She was not so great for Big Brother 14. :(

  • stella2217

    I would have been a frank fan-for him fighting to stay in the house-except that his “ego head” is too big to fit in anywhere…during his hoh and previous nominations, he has repeated over and over on the live feeds that he deserves to win this over everyone, because he has tried out for years and got so far, yet no luck…everyone deserves a chance to win the money, no matter how they were picked to be on the show-I agree with Ian “you may be a fierce competitor but your social game stinks!!….Be prepared–unless another twist (re-reset) happens you are gone on Thursday….after that, it doesn’t matter to me who wins…… if dan really “mists” everyone till the end, he truly does deserve another win…..

    oh yeah, btw Franky-you complain about joe being unclean and how everyone else is messy..when the fact is that you were shown on the live feed (can’t remember when) in the hoh room talking to someone while picking your nose and flicking it around the room…How classy of you!

    • http://twitter.com/JunDishes Jun Song

      Hahahahaha! Yeah. Frank’s just a kid in a very nice man-body :) His social game sucks. Even if I find him interesting and I like him, he must not be so likeable if he’s up on the block every week. Sigh.


    Sick that CBS has made it known to Dan that he is the best ever…now he thinks its ok to just swear on a bible and dump his alliance…while I know this is what it is all about….I think the lesson Dan has taken it to is just wrong…Dont put a bible in the house…to be mocked. If they want to give up jewelry, etc. fine. I have lost interest in the show this season…I love that Dan and Jenn made a really big move, but I am sick that they will sell out…Little man is disgusting with his potty mouth, and I dont think having some kind of ailment should make us feel sorry for him. Dani is going to be in a world of hurt when its all over (if she loses) I dont think very many people think very highly of her (except of herself) Joe and Shane still dont have a clue…and will probably go far because of it. They certainly dont deserve it. I started out with a first impression of Frank as being…Yuk! Cut your hair, you must smell…..but as I watch him…he has done nothing but fight to win comps…be nice to people who are nice to him….over and over again. Unless I have missed something. He is clean, organized, thoughtful, and from what I can see a good role model for young people…if big brother lets him go…it will be a shame. I am no kid watching this show…I am an adult….and while Dartmouth graduates sit through the show for my sake, I keep saying that it is a game of good over evil…now dont let me down BB…I am trying to get you viewers…but its not looking good for the rest of the season.

    • http://twitter.com/JunDishes Jun Song

      I do have a problem with the bible thing. I do. It’s probably my own issues but still, it doesn’t feel right.

      I hope you and your Dartmouth grads can hold on the rest of the season :)

  • Liplures

    OMG………Fricken hilarious…….period!!!!!