CBS has released the full-body portraits of the Big Brother 14 cast, and you know what that means. It’s time to go all Fashion Police — with apologies to Joan Rivers — on the new House Guests!
Remember that style is subjective, so feel free to agree or disagree with our commentary in the comments! But let’s be honest, we have pretty good taste.
Let’s kick things off with a strong candidate for Worst Offender:
Oh, hello Wil.
A see-through mesh top is never OK for 99 percent of situations, much less for a publicity still that will live on the Internet in perpetuity. Not to mention, the Internet will use said photograph to be all judgey about you as a person. Assuming Wil thought this decision through instead of getting dressed in the dark that morning, WHAT message could he be trying to send with this outfit? I’m truly stumped. In the meantime, don’t even get me started on that cuff.
Conversely, this is what a normal person wears — or at least a person who wants to APPEAR normal and accessible. It’s hard to project on or judge respectable dark-wash jeans with a bright, seasonal pop of color on top. I also like the headband — it’s a nice, youthful touch. Well done Jodi. You are a blank slate.
Chef Joe is wearing the male version of Jodi’s outfit. We find him generally well-groomed and agreeable in this photo. An apron might have been a nice touch. Too much?
Here’s how NOT to do jeans. Overly distressed denim is dated and a little too Jon Gosselin (read: douchebag) for my taste. Also, why are Shane‘s long sleeves shoved all the way up his arm? Why wouldn’t he just wear a short-sleeved shirt? Finally, white shoes are very hard to pull off if you’re not, say, Kanye West. My husband tried this once with questionable results. Based on this photograph, I think I hate Shane.
This outfit is exactly what I expected JoJo to wear, only hoped that she wouldn’t. It screams: “I’m from Staten Island, and I buy outerwear at Frederick’s of Hollywood.” Also, adding a couple of necklaces to lingerie doesn’t make it an acceptable outfit to wear in public.
I’m OK with this. The color-blocking is on trend, she accessorized well and for someone who’s not used to wearing clothes (Playmate of the Year, get it?), this is a win. Kara is giving off a little Stacy Keibler in this photo, no?
This is what Mark Zuckerberg wears every day, minus the hoodie. We wouldn’t expect sweet Ian to dress any other way. He’s perfectly unassuming just the way he is, and we have a feeling he has a lot more depth than what he’s wearing.
So, Danielle: Why do you want to become Miss America? If you could give the Big Brother prize money to one charity, which one would it be, and why?
And on the opposite spectrum of red dresses we have: Jenn‘s a rocker chick from Staten Island, can you tell? Do you think she and fellow Staten Islander JoJo will become besties? Or … dare we hope … more?
Frank could do worse than this non-descript outfit.
Willie is making a classic guy mistake here. Guys: Wear clothes that fit. It’s called tailoring. Don’t buy clothes that are too big for you. It makes you look like a little kid playing dress-up. Also: You couldn’t have picked a pair of jeans without a hole in them today?
I was hoping she would turn up in a Snow White costume. Ashley, you disappoint me.
So, what do you think of the new BB14 glamour shots? Can you judge a House Guest by their cover? Make yourself heard below!