Buckwild is back during it’s second week on MTV and surprisingly enough last week’s premiere episodes brought in more people than Jersey Shore did back in 2009. A whopping 2.5 million people tuned in, but will Buckwild keep their interest? Will it keep YOURS?
After last week’s meltdown between Cara and Anna (after Cara slept with Tyler in Anna’s bed) the girls wonder if Cara will be returning to the house. Cara wonders the same.
Ashley and Anna drive to Shae’s boyfriend’s house to pick her up. When they arrive we’re introduced to Shae’s boyfriend, Jesse. A lump of a man, he is a conniving, cheating douchebag. All three girls leave and the camera pans to shots of mobile homes jacked up on concrete blocks. Ashley suddenly forgets she’s wearing deodorant and smells her pits. She pulls a hot pink perfume bottle from her purse and sprays them.
Hillbilly Fun: The Buckwild gang get together at Shain’s place for fun on a homemade Slip N Slide on a long hill in someone’s backyard. You know, to Trump last week’s hillbilly swimming pool in a dump truck. They add some soap, and it’s a big ol’ bubbly, frothy slide. A.k.a. a hillbilly bath!
Douchebag Boyfriend: After dark it’s all about the bonfire and who-knows-what in the red Solo cups. After awhile Shain shoots a shotgun in the air and tells everyone they have to leave because he has to work at 4AM. For some reason, Jesse, the douchey boyfriend, is at the party but Shae is not. He invites Ashley and Salwa back to his house to keep drinking. They ask where Shae is. He says she’s out “doing her thing.” And that’s all it takes, the girls look at each other and decide it’s a good idea to go to Jesse’s house and spend the night.
The next morning Ashley talks to Anna and tells her that douchey Jesse tried to wake her up and couldn’t, so he woke up Salwa then texted her saying, “meet me in the bathroom in 5 minutes.” Salwa ignored his advances. They decide to tell Shae at dinner that night.
Salwa begins. “Do you think Jesse would ever cheat on you?” Shae looks dumbfounded, uncomfortable. Ashley continues, “Jessie tried to wake me up, then he woke up Salwa.” Shae admits she found a text on his phone from another girl awhile back but that she can’t leave him. “I don’t have anywhere to live,” she says. The girls ask her to move in with them but she is wishy-washy with any response.
Delusional Girlfriend: Shae goes to Jesse’s place to talk about the situation in private. Of course he denies everything and twists it around to look like her friends are all lying. “I think it’s bullshit they wanna be buzzing in your ear. I want to confront them face to face, its not fair to me cuz’ I’m not going anywhere.”
The next day the girls get together at Quaker Steak (can I get my oil changed there too?) for dinner and douchey Jesse shows up. Awkward silence. “Is this awkward for anyyone but me?” asks Ashley. Salwa asks Shae if she and Jesse are still together in front of everyone. Jesse speaks for her. “We worked it out,” he says. Shae, Jesse and Salwa go outside to talk. Shae shocks Salwa by telling her she believes douchey Jesse, and that she doesn’t believe her. Salwa, like the rest of us, is stunned.
The dude is wearing ARM WARMERS (see above). That should be reason enough to dump his ass.
Girly Boy: Tyler, the pretty one, isn’t manly enough for the hillbilly boys and they are trying to get him to ride wrecklessly on a dirt bike with no brakes. He zips around the huge yard then heads up the steep hill but doesn’t quite make it to the top. He loses control and it’s jumping like a wild filly. Regardless, Tyler holds on tight and subsequently pulls the throttle down full blast as he’s hanging off the bike. It was almost as funny as watching someone fall down.
Next, the boys try to get hm to jump off bridge at their swimming hole. You know, the place under the bridge with the nuclear plants in the horizon. Is this The Simpsons? I was waiting for 3-eyed fish to pop out of the water.
“Booty Call” is Back: Anna and Ashley are working at the tanning salong and Cara texts Anna. She wants to talk about porking Tyler in Anna’s bed. She swings by later and apologizes for the whole thing and they kiss and makeup. And just like that, Cara the booty call babe is back in the crowd. To celebrate she invites everyone to a HyperGlo neon paint party at a club. She wants to show everyone what she is like “in her element”. Shain promises to go if she’ll stick her finger in the bug zapper. She obliges.
Cara hires a bodypainter and she, Ashley and Salwa are airbrushed sans bras. Salwa has her chest painted in cheetah print, Ashley chooses tiger. The boys sit there like big dummies watching all the titties. Salwa says innocently, “They’re acting like dogs. They’re pervs.” The girls pose topless for iPhone pics afterward.
Big City Clubbin’: At the club Tyler is grinding on a ton of chicks, none of which are Cara. Two of the girls’ boyfriends warn him back-off. But despite one drunk girl’s boyfriend watching her, she leaves with Tyler. Because there are cameras, DUH. The boyfriend threatens her as she’s in the car with Tyler and block their vehicle from leaving. You can’t blame her for ditching the dude, the guy was wearing a safety vest to a nightclub.
Cara finally figures it out, she was nothing more than a booty call to Tyler.
Anna runs into an old friend they get drunk, and start making out in the club. Shain is shirtless and running around, probably drinking beer from a can. Ashley is completely topless in her tiger paint. Life is good.
Hot Date at the Family Fun Center: Shea is the only one who can’t go to the HyperGlo party, Jesse has a romantic night planned for them. She primps and gets all dolled up in her used to be white but now it’s gray lace top. They arrive at the Family Fun Center for some bowling. Shae is like, “whaaaa? These shoes gross me out.” Oh yeah, and douchey Jesse invited his douchey friend too.
The Aftermath: Later, back at the apartment, Anna’s “old friend” is now making out with Katie. Another douchebag, but Katie’s enjoying the attention. Besides, she’s in a “no, but I mean yes” sort of mood. Cara kicks him out for being creepy. Bieber (Josh) calls a girl from club, she answers and is like, “Who the f**k is this?!” Random club girl who Tyler brought home is desperately making calls to see if someone can pick her up from the empty apartment and Shain has to work in 2.5 hours. Ahhhh....to be 21 again!
Who is your favorite BUCKWILD cast member so far??
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