It’s time to get Buckwild with episode 9 & 10! This week most of the Buckwild crew go camping, Tyler and Katie hook-up and Cara’s lesbian ex visits from Arizona. I love writing recaps for this show, they basically write themselves.
Episode 9 begins with Shain burying money in a jar in his backyard. Not sure what it had to do with anything, but it was funny to think people still do this. Meh, what am I thinking, it was just for the cameras.
Joey and Tyler go over to Shain’s and tell him they’re planning a camping trip. “I’m bringing Katie,” says Tyler. “I’m bringing Shea,” adds Joey. Shain sulks. “I ain’t going to be without a girl. I’m taking Cara. I been working on that all damn summer and I’m gonna git that one of these days.”
Over at the girl’s place Cara is making omeletes with Mac n’ Cheese in the middle. Makes me hungry just thinking about it. (I hope you understand sarcasm.) Tyler turns his nose and Cara is insulted. She adds, “My dad used to make spaghetti omelets all the time.”
Later that night a round of Truth or Dare is in order. There’s a lot of kissing dirty toes, sticking butts in faces, licking belly-buttons, and squeezing nipples. Tyler is dared to make-out with Katie. The sexual tension has been building between them, so finally they get to break the ice. Meanwhile, Cara watches silently with green eyes of jealousy. Did I say eyes? More like laser beams. Later, as Cara sits on the outdoor couch, she asks Tyler if he’s into Katie. After skirting around the issue he finally says, “Yeah.”
PITCHING TENTS/ CARA THE COCKBLOCKER
Everyone except for Anna, Salwa and Ashley go camping. Cara bitches about going because she knows Tyler and Katie will probably hook up. The kids load up into two vehicles and head out. On the way there Shea asks Tyler and Katie, “So, who here wishes Cara didn’t come?” Katie chirps up, “Um, me! And I’m really sick of [Cara's] bleached denim jeans,” she adds.
During their day of camping the group jump off rocks, swim in a river, cook hot dogs and drink. Katie climbs up the big rock that everyone is jumping off and she can’t get down. She’s terrified of heights. It’s kind of like when she got on the bull last week, then decided she couldn’t ride it. She only gets half way.
That night, the campfire is roaring and the couples are getting cozy. Joey and Tyler are looking forward to getting laid in their tents.
Tyler, who’s pretty drunk by now, is sitting with Katie at the picnic table downing beers. He throws an empty can on the ground. Cara immediately jumps his shit for not using the garbage bag. He tells her to chill out, they’ll pick it up in the morning. “Ive never known you to pick anything up in the morning,” she snaps back. She’s just pissed at him liking Katie, so she’s doing everyting in her power to make his life hell, thus driving him further into Katie’s arms. Or vagina. “I know Tyler’s into Katie, but could he be decent enough to not do it in front of me?” Cara whines. Gawd, I do not miss my 20s. Bitch, you should have stayed home.
Tyler is wasted and wants to take Katie back to their tent to bang, so they do. Shae and Cara sneak up and shake the tent. Tyler flips out on Cara, charging at her from inside the tent. He’s had enough of Cara. Probably because he had ALL of Cara without hardly even trying. “Seriously, Cara, get the f*ck out!”
Shain, drunk off his ass, is busy making a bed next to him….for Cara. He is begging her to come lay down. “It ain’t happening,” she says. She’s still pissed that SHE isn’t the one in the tent with Tyler.
The next morning Shain “moons” everyone after waking them up. Thank you, MTV, for blurring his ass. It’s a new day but Cara is still the SUPER annoying third wheel. She pokes her head into Shae and Joey’s tent as Shae is straddling Joey. “Can I get some mouthwash?”
After they arrive home from camping, Katie tells Anna about the trip. First thing she says is how she was freaked out in the woods and was expecting someone to kill her. Because teenagers camping in the woods always get murdered in horror films. Secondly, she talks about Tyler.
“I think Tyler and I are officially ‘a thing’. But he’s really STUPID. I wonder what he thinks about?”
She admits to Anna that Cara ruined her trip. “She stared at us the entire time.”
CINCO DE SISSONVILLE/ JACK BE NIMBLE
In episode 10, Cara, freshly dumped by Tyler, needs some attention, so her ex-girlfriend (yes, a lesbian) from Arizona is going to visit. Cara decides they should have a party while she is there. In preparation, Anna, Katie and Cara head to the local market for party supplies. “All we need is liquor…and chips,” says Anna.
Later Katie asks Cara about her ex-girlfriend Sevgi. Cara tells her she broke it off with her because she was overly “dramatic”. Shain, who wants to get in Cara’s pants (because he’s probably the only one who hasn’t), isn’t deterred by the news that Cara is bisexual. “The way I see it, I got two chances,” he says optimistically.
The girlfriend shows up and when she and Cara reunite they hug. And hug, and hug and hug. We see it right away, Sevgi is extremely needy, in all senses of the word. She latches onto Cara and sobs. Anna and Katie spy from the second story deck. “This is weird,” says Anna.
Shain wants to know more about Cara’s lesbian girlfriend and so he tries bonding with her over a can of beer. He asks about she and Cara’s past relationship. Sevgi is super intense, and super into Cara.”I believe she’s my soulmate. And yes, we’ve had sex,” she says to Shain, marking her territory. Cara comes in the room and she and Segvi make-out for Shain’s entertainment (and the cameras). When they finish Shain says, “I think I’ll sit here a little bit. I can’t stand up.” Scha-wing!
The next morning the girls are cleaning up and the campers are arriving home. Katie asks Sevgi, “Who is the dude and who’s the chick in the relationship? Sevgi responds, “Cara’s most definitely the dude. Cara’s the dominant. Cara bruised my spine after laying my down in the bathtub and continuosy ramming me into it over and over.” Anna’s eyebrows raise. It’s quiet as everyone visualizes THAT happening.
Then we get a flashback of Cara and Sevgi in bed talking. Sevgi is crying telling Cara how much she means to her. She sounds desperate. “I’ve got nothing holding me back. I’ll do anything possible that I can. I just really don’t want to mess up again!” Then we see a clip of Cara telling the cameras, “I just want to get her back on that plane, and back to Arizona.”
When Ashley returns from camping and hears about Cara’s girlfriend (who’s now on a plane back to Arizona) she thinks it’s cool. She likes that Cara is bisexual and adds that she is “bi-curious”. (Everyone‘s a little gay.)
The season finale is next Thursday, short season! Check out the preview of it below.