Yeehaw! The season finale of Buckwild ended with a little muddin’, an introduction to a guy with a really weird name and another notch in Tyler’s belt.
Episode 11 begins with Katie and her mom, Ladonna, going for a mani/pedi. They make small talk and her mom asks if she has a boyfriend. Katie squints and says she has a guy in her life, but he’s not quite a boyfriend. “He’s great. He’s a really good guy and he’s so sweet. He’s just really, really, really stupid. Like, REALLY stupid. But he’s really cute.”
I’ve decided I love Katie. Too bad it took until the end of the season to see more of her. Katie and her mom decide to invite Tyler over to dinner so mom can meet him.
Later Katie decides she wants to go muddin’ with the gang, she’s never been. After seeing her chicken-out with the bull riding and knowing how freaked out she gets with anything fast or high up, you just KNOW she’s going to hate it. Ashley tells her, “Three people die [while muddin'] each year.” The Buckwild gang hop in their trucks and head for the woods. As they are flying through the mud, bodies are flying inside the trucks. No one has seat belts on. Shae hits her head after a huge bump in the road.
Later at Shain’s the boys are goofing around and they decide it would be fun to ride Big Wheels and Red Wagons down the grassy hill as fast as they can. (It’s the random hillbilly clips like this that make me love this stupid show.) Shae is there with Joey. They’re fawning over one another and Shain is somewhat annoyed by it. He later tells the cameras, “Ever since Joey took Shae on that date, they stuck so far up each other’s ass they can smell each other’s lunch.”
Tyler and Katie head to her parent’s house for dinner. Tyler has a big ol’ scab between his eyes. He explains that he hit himself in the face with a piece of wood, he doesn’t want the ‘rents to think it was from a fight. For dinner, Katie’s mom has prepared some duck, squash, brocolli, and dessert. She opens the dinner table discussion with, “Are you guys serious?”
“We’re having fun,” replies Katie. Tyler agrees.”Right now we’re just getting to know each other a bit better.”They chit chat for a bit and Tyler is on his best behavior. When he leaves the room for a minute mom leans over the table and says to Katie, “He’s wonderful I mean WONDERFUL. Wow. You’ve never dated anybody who was…” Tyler interrupts, walking in with the dessert. Mom looks at him, secretly undressing his young, hard body with her approving eyes. Suddenly mom is speaking in a low, breathy voice. Was that weird, or WHAT?
Katie and Tyler leave, and while in the car she tells him, “I don’t want to be another number to you. This is kind of important to me.”
“You’re not just another number to me, I care about ya….You’re not just a number, you’re number 45,“ he laughs.
Shae and Joey go muddin’ alone, and she wants to drive his truck. Joey says no way. Shae informs us that “guys don’t let girls drive their truck unless it’s super serious. I’m driving that damn truck today.” She is adamant about it but Joey refuses. Then she asks him about their relationship. “What are we?” she wants to hear the words boyfriend & girlfriend come out of his mouth. All Joey can muster is, “I don’t like seeing you around other guys, that’s for sure.” But after a couple minutes he lets her know just how much he’s into her by letting her drive his truck. Awhhh…
The cameras show Shae driving it, but they also spliced-in clips of a guy driving it through super deep mudholes. You know Shae wasn’t driving. Sooooo edited.
Episode 12 begins with a Friday night bonfire, and anything goes into the fire. Couches, chairs, random junk, you name it.
We meet “Blue Foot,” Shain’s friend. He tells Tyler that if he wants to be a true Sissonviller that he needs to take a bite out of a slab of RAW deer meat, something most of the guys have already done at some point in their young lives. “Everybody has [eaten raw deer meet], it’s what you do when you first kill a deer,” Joey informs Shae, who is grossed out by the whole thing.
Soon after Ashley admits to the cameras (again, it seems soooo scripted) that she has a thing for Tyler. “He may be a manwhore and dumb as rocks, but there’s something about him that gets me going,” she says.
It’s party time at Tyler & Joey’s place, another bonfire. Ashley and Tyler sneak off together in the dark and pile into into Joey’s truck. “I thought you said you was cold…?” Tyler says as Ashley starts taking off her clothes. “Warm me up, stupid!” she demands. Boom chicka wow wow! Meanwhile, Katie’s back at the party telling Anna how much she’s into Tyler.
The next day, the guys have been busy working on a back hoe carnival ride, I’m not sure what else to call it. It’s a back hoe, surrounded by black visqueen that’s covered in soap and water. An inner tube is tied to the excavator’s arm and it swings the kids around in a circle on the plastic. “It’s been awhile, but I think Cara’s finally got a sweet tooth,” says Shain. “There’s only one thing for that, and that’s the Gandee Candy.”
Ashley is pissed that Tyler is acting like their hookup never happened the night before, and she isn’t afraid to blab about it to everyone.
The next day Anna and Katie are driving around and Anna tells Katie that Joey and Shain were giving Tyler shit about hooking up with Ashley that weekend. Anna says she knows where Ashley and Cara are shopping at that moment (a second hand store, they’re looking for used bikinis apparently), so they decide to drop in and confront Ashley.
After they arrive, Katie says to Ashley, “I don’t know how to put this, but did you hookup with Tyler this weekend?”
“Me?” says Ashley, chomping on her gum, pointing at herself. “I didn’t know you were guys were that serious.”
Katie is disgusted. “He just met my mom! Tyler’s a dead man.”
Meanwhile, Shain and Joey are back at Shain’s place, throwing flares and playing with propane tanks. Shain’s dad comes out of the house and has a shit-fit. He puts an end to it.
That night at Joey and Tyler’s place the Buckwild crew are hanging out, drinking out of BLUE Solo cups this time. Ashley is ready to tell EVERYONE she and Tyler hooked up. “So you know me and Tyler hooked up, even though he’s denying it,” she tells the room. “We did not, it didn’t happen!” he denies everything.
Cara joins in with Ashley, she’s still pissed Tyler humped her and dumped her. Suddenly three chicks he’s banged, Cara, Ashley and Katie, are all ganging up on him. “We just want closure!” says Cara. (Maybe you should start with your legs, honey.) Shain and Joey peek in the window, laughing their asses off at Tyler’s predicament.
The group decides to head to “the lake”. Shain and Joey are packing a cooler in a REALLY weird way. Joey is throwing packaged meet off the mobile home roof into the cooler that Tyler is holding on the ground. Why is this meat on the roof? All I can assume is that it’s thawing out? Tyler shows up and asks WTF they’re doing. Tyler says, “We’re packing. Squirel, chicken and deer.”
The girls all show up in one car and they see that Tyler’s there. “We’re not going if Tyler’s going” they tell Shain. Joey tells Tyler he should just apologize but Tyler refuses. Joey coaxes him, “Just admit it and get it over with.” Tyler makes his way over to the girl’s car and half assed apologizes. “So, can I go to the lake now?”
At the lake “Blue Foot” has a crazy contraption awaiting them. Visqueen lines a hill that leads to a HUGE wooden ramp. An inner-tube is hooked up to a four wheeler that pulls the inner -tube down the hill at an alarming rate of speed and guides it onto the ramp where bodies FLY into the lake. It’s like a super duper X Games Slip N’ Slide or something. By the end of the day Shain has a bloody nose, Blue Foot’s entire backside is cherry red, and Tyler’s shoulder is possibly injured.
How did the Buckwild Season One Finale end? With a kiss. Cara finally done git her some Gandee Candy. Somehow I missed it. Damn DVR.