A Tale of Two Parties: Crazy Delight

A Tale of Two Parties: Crazy Delight

On this week’s episode of Celebrity Apprentice, the task was to throw a fun and entertaining party for Crystal Lite using their new line of Mocktails that consist of beverages that contain zero alcohol. Bummer. If you must throw a party without serving any alcoholic beverages you better be prepared to make it FUN. A room full of sober people being blatantly marketed to for the sole purpose of pushing a brand in your face is inherently the antithesis of FUN, so this task was a real challenge.

Led by Aubrey O Day, the women come up with an ill conceived plan to recreate The Garden of Eden based on the premise that a pomegranate can be considered a “forbidden fruit.” Fine. The concept itself is kind of cute, and probably close to what the suits in a Madison Avenue advertising firm would come up with, but that’s exactly why traditional advertising is starting to decline and conversational marketing is on the rise. More off the mark is the execution of the “Garden of Eden” theme. Being forced to listen to Debbie Gibson lip sync some cheesy jingle about drinking poisonous diet powder sounds way closer to hell than the Garden of Eden. If I was in some bizarro Apprentice version of Genesis and Debbie Gibson was there singing, I’d tell that evil bible snake to just hand over the fucking apple so I can take a big ol’ bite and die.

Clay Aiken (who WILL win this season) is the project manager for the men’s team. Under his direction, the dudes decide to go with a lighter more festive concept of a beach party. This is obviously a smarter plan, as you need to find a way to create a party-like atmosphere without the use of alcohol.

A traditional cocktail party – without actual alcohol in the cocktails – is not going to be enough to entertain your guests. There needs to be a stronger theme than just “sit around and drink”, especially if all you’ve got for atmosphere is a bad version of a 2003 NYC ultra lounge as your venue. You need to create a fun and engaging environment that will entertain your guests without relying on the beverages as the main source of merriment. There’s no merriment in mock tails. Trust me. TRUST ME.

The men do a better job because they came up with distractions from the lack of booze. Even more importantly, unlike the women they avoid any sort of overt advertising and opt to create an event that just feels fun rather than some weird corporate sponsored brain washing.

“Recite the Crystal Light theme song!” No Aubrey, NO.

Additionally, the party seemingly takes place during the day, so the men do a better job of taking advantage of the timeframe by creating a day at the beach. Many people go to the beach to relax, unwind and play rather than just get loaded, so this is much more appropriate than an awkward midday faux cocktail party.

The men are worried about planning a party because few of them actually “party”, but that turns out to be an interesting advantage. Only two people on the men’s team ever drink alcohol at all, so perhaps they’re more accustomed to having fun without getting totally fucked up. They probably know more activities people participate in than simply sitting around and getting shitfaced.

Something gives me the feeling Aubrey O’ Day is not very familiar with fun times that don’t include booze, blow and the late night comforts of some creepy Hollywood millionaire’s mansion. I hear you sister; but that brand of fun won’t help you win this task. Still I like (translation: identify) with Aubrey so despite her misdirection I don’t want her to be fired.

Thankfully, the most annoyingly self righteous complainer on the team is fired for basically being a constant drain. Patricia does nothing but make shitty graphic designs and talk about how much she hates my home girl Aubrey, so I’m elated to see her sent packing. I only wish she took her equally useless daughter Dayana with her.

To the casual viewer it probably appears that Dayana will go next, but I don’t think that’s how it’s gonna go down. I think Dayana will be project manager soon and she will win her task or the men on her new team will appreciate her um… “assets” a lot more once the teams are shuffled and merged. Dayana is a dipshit, but she’s a beautiful variety of dipsit, so she’ll have her day.

Next week! It looks like Dee Synder gets fired so I’m stoked for that. Usually when a contestant gets very little air time, then suddenly starts getting heavily featured it means they’re going soon, if not next. If you’re a mid season firee that’s just the way your edit goes. This also means Teresa is in big trouble because she was nearly invisible until the previous episode. Her sudden increase in airtime means her time as a contender is limited. That’s disappointing because I wanted to see more from her. She’s trying to play against character by suppressing her famously erratic behavior, but unfortunately if you build your brand on insanity you have to commit to bringing the crazy or you let your fans down.

 In 2007 Jenn was picked by Donald Trump to be on his hit television series “The Apprentice“. Her dominant personality, unwavering determination and off beat sense of humor landed her in 9 out of 14 episodes of the hit season of The Apprentice and an invitation to appear on Reality Obsessed, a show about reality fans favorite tv stars. She also is a host and face of Reality Wanted, the world’s biggest reality news and casting site. After the Apprentice Jenn became a news reporter for NBC.