Two perfect elements for a successful episode of The Celebrity Apprentice.
One of the celebrities with the most ego and the most craziness this season is Star Jones. Her smarmy, smug, self-absorbed attitude is totally out of control. I pray she doesn’t win this competition because it will only prove that uselessness and ugliness prevail. My goodness, I really dislike her.
The show opens with Richard Hatch telling us his evil plan to earn his teammates respect while manipulating the hell out of them and to tell you the truth it’s kind of fly. Team Hatch all the way.
We learn the task this week is to write a children’s book and share the story via live performance in front of a live audience of kids. OMG… all these crazy people, plus kids? Yes, yes, yes.
This week Eric, The Donald’s youngest spawn with ex-wife Ivana, helps advise on the task. Erik Trump is no Ivanka, but he’s relatively articulate and it’s clear he inherited his father’s penchant for slicked back hair and a big ego. I love that he’s basically 12 years old and telling successful, famous and grown adults what they did wrong. God bless America.
Some Wackadoodle stuff we see from the men:
Richard Hatch dressed as a giant baby, Jose Canseco dressed in drag, Lil’ Jon being a surprisingly fantastic actor, Mark McGrath becoming sexier every minute, Meatloaf crying over basically nothing like 45 times, random uncomfortable hip hop breaking out during a play for five year olds, terrified children being assaulted with confetti, Gary Busey.
Batshit stuff we see from the women:
Dionne Warwick and Star Jones being pigs and demanding all the credit (in written form!) for the entire project, Lisa Rinna unsuccessfully trying to control a table full of hens, LaToya Jackson crying over basically nothing like 45 more times than Meatloaf, Marlee Matlin’s translator eerily starting to resemble John Leguizamo, Niki Taylor being the only voice of reason, Hope Dworaczyk basically not being on the show.
“I know my ABCs and my 1,2,3’s…” Both plays are a total trainwreck, and the kids look scared out of their minds. In the end Trump consults with some publishing lady and Holly “who the hell am I, and why am I famous?” Robinson Peete, and they collectively decide the men’s book is less retarded so the guys win. Meatloaf cries again. Gary Busey has no idea where he is. The men go back to their set – I mean their suite – at the hotel.
Trump should automatically fire Dionne and Star for their selfish demand to have their names put on the front of the book. The request is gross, self serving and completely goes against the idea of a team effort. Dionne and Star are eager to demand all the credit for creating the book, but accept none of the blame when the concept they created sucks. They are poor sports and awful role models. In fact, Dionne and Star are the two must self-serving people I’ve ever seen on this show – and I’ve seen some pretty selfish shit. I don’t care if Dionne is a legend, because she’s also a legendary bitch.
While Dionne and Star refuse to take responsibility for the loss, project manager Lisa Rinna is totally unable to articulate why they are to blame. It’s almost sad to see Lisa cower in the corner while her team trounces her. As a contestant, your ability to survive in the boardroom depends on your ability to argue, manipulate and fight like hell. When Trump is firing questions at you, it’s kill or be killed. Even if you are wrong, you must make it appear that you are right, or the stronger competitor. The bottom line: Fight, fight fight! Kill kill kill!
Lisa Rinna is fired because her team sails her down the river, and she refuses to fight back upstream. She was a weak project manager, but more importantly she didn’t do the one thing the winner of this season of The Celebrity Apprentice will have to do:
DESTROY STAR JONES.
I wish I was on this season just so I could be the one to do it.