When it comes to getting married, Kim Zolciak isn’t a Bridezilla. She isn’t even really a bitch.
What she is, though, is super tacky, and that makes Don’t Be Tardy For the Wedding worth watching each week. (That being said, we love how totally in love she and Kroy Biermann are. Who would have thought a simple guy from Montana would fall so hard for a wig-wearing, potty-mouthed, over-the-top reality star with two kids?)
Next week, we finally get to see the nuptials! But in the meantime, here are the funniest/tackiest/most ridiculous moments from last night’s show.
1. Lots of people calm their nerves by having a little nip of wine or a cocktail before walking down the aisle. But Kim, who has been sick, takes her antibiotics, a couple of deep breaths from her inhaler, pops some migraine pills — and then chases them with some white wine. With ice. And asks for it to be served in a plastic party cup. Will she make it down the aisle, or topple off the walkway and into the pool?
2. Even though she has perfectly normal, thick, real hair, she decides she must get married wearing a wig. “I am definitely more myself with my wigs on. My wigs are a part of me and that’s how it should be on my wedding day.” Um, your wigs are actually NOT a part of you; I think that’s the point here. But who are we to quibble?
3. While she’s getting ready for her wedding, she is wearing a little white jacket. The belt of encrusted with little white rhinestones that spell out “Mrs. Tight Ass.” I really hope she wears that for Kroy’s parents sometime.
4. Kim ordered a groom’s cake for Kroy… and it’s 3-D, in the shape of his beloved dog, who he had to leave back in Montana upon moving to Atlanta. It looks so incredibly real that it’s creepy. Let me tell you something: no dog lover is going to be able to lop off his dog’s head and dig in. That cake has got to be for show, man.
5. Kim was considering whether she’d change her Twitter handle to her married name, only to discover that a Kim Biermann already existed on Twitter. “Kim Biermann, you bitch! Can’t she be Kim B123 and give me Kim Biermann? She has 31 followers, I have 300,000. Bitch.” Maybe she should just call herself Mrs. Tight Ass.
Do you wish Kim would be herself and wear her real hair for the wedding? Or do you think wearing her wig is considered being herself?