In this week’s episode of Don’t Be Tardy For the Wedding, Kim Zolciak was seriously stressing out because her future in-laws were descending upon her17,000 square foot home for a week-long visit. Having only met them once briefly, Kim wondered what on earth they’d have to say to each other. “We really don’t have anything in common. They’re from Montana. I’m from Atlanta.”
Now, Kim may not be the brightest bulb on the tree, but she probably didn’t need to see her psychic to confirm she doesn’t have a lot of common ground with Kroy’s parental units. How are the mountain folk different from the wigged wonder? Let us count the ways:
1. We’d be willing to be our life savings that Kroy’s parents do not have gigantic, strategically shot naked portraits of themselves hanging all over their house.
2. Kroy’s mother knows how to operate a manual can opener and turn ingredients from the grocery store into a meal.
3. Kroy’s mother dices onions. Kim wishes onions came pre-diced because they made her eyes water, which, in turn, made her false eyelashes come loose. (Hey, what’s that big black thing in my beef stroganoff?)
4. Kim asked, “Is it appropriate to touch his ass in front of his mom and dad?” We bet his mom and dad know the answer to that question.
5. In Montana, people eat antelope. In Atlanta, people heat up pizza in the oven… if they can locate something on which to cook it.
6. It’s safe to say that Kim’s parents do not have someone come to their home to dress them. But when Kim shared her stylist with Kroy’s mom to find a dress for the wedding, it might have served as an icebreaker. Maybe by the end of this trip, Kroy’s mom be wearing a big blonde wig and a push-up bra. Only time will tell…