Glass House Episode 4: A House Divided

This week’s The Glass House picked up right after last week’s episode with Jeffrey crying and Andrea thinking she’s amazing for standing up for her close-minded beliefs.

At that point it becomes very clear that the house has split. Everyone is either on Team Jeffrey or Team Andrea. And which side will come out on top this week will come down to who the viewers send back in the house from limbo: Erica or Crazy Robin.

So while we’re waiting on that outcome, let’s go ahead and hate Kevin and Mike some more. At this point no one really cares that Andrea is a homophobe. We’re more concerned with why Mike and Kevin are such assholes. They’ve decided that all the people who support Jeffrey and gay marriage are “snobs” and bullies. While everyone on Andrea’s side are “slobs” or outcasts. So it’s like reverse bullying? Is that what he’s saying? Interesting.

It should be pointed out that Andrea is the only person who says she doesn’t support gay marriage. As far as we know, Mike, Kevin, Ashley and Holly are just supporting Andrea’s beliefs and standing by their alliance. But as we all know, in the reality TV world, you’re only as popular as your alliance (*cough* Nerd Herd *cough*).

There’s a big blow up between Joy and Mike. It has something to do with racism I think. I got busy looking at my fingernails and yawning to care. Then finally Robin and Erica get beamed back up. It’s time to find out who the viewers are sending back in the house.

Robin starts beaming back down. Bye-bye Robin. Uh-oh. Kevin, Andrea and Mike had better watch themselves. I’m actually going to miss Robin. I love crazy people on reality TV.

And with the quote of the night, Erica becomes my favorite person in the house. She and her alliance are talking about Holly and she says this: “We should be careful … she has that Ph.D. in Astrophysicology from Harvardon University.” Hahahahaha. That was clearly a slam to Holly’s lies and complete ignorance from last week. I love Erica. A lot.

It’s time for fanswers! And in order to make the show suck less, ABC sends in adorable puppies with fanswers attached to their collars! But before we get to that, Holly decides to make absolutely sure that America hates her by adding the fact that she hates puppies to her laundry list of ass-suckery.

The dogs tell Gene he’s a hero and tell Mike that America hates him. They tell Andrea something too, but I was busy looking at my ceiling to catch that part. Yaaawn.

And now it’s time for the part of the show that makes it all worthwhile. It’s time to find out who America hates the most! And from now on, we’re just going to automatically put Ashley in here because America clearly can’t stand her. Three weeks in a row she’s in the bottom. Poor Ashley. Joining her, to no one’s surprise, is Holly. So they’ll be team captains and one of them will end up in limbo.

Ashley takes a moment to humanize herself to the audience. She cries and talks about her family. If she were smart, she’d switch alliances. Viewers have already decided which alliance they prefer and there’s no changing that.

Kevin, Andrea, Ashley and Holly decide there’s only one way to play the game this week and it’s kind of dirty (there you go! Play that game!). They decide that Holly will pick everyone from the other side of the house just and try to lose the challenge so they won’t have to put two of their own in limbo this week. It’s actually a really good plan. As long as Holly’s team doesn’t win.

So Team Holly is Jeffrey, Erica, Joy and Gene while Team Ashley is Kevin, Mike, Andrea and Stephanie (she had to go somewhere). Team Ashley does some struggling in the challenge but seems to get back on their feet. Team Holly gets off to a rough start, but then plays the challenge at a steady pace.

In the end, Team Holly finished in 5:36 while Team Ashley finished in 7:57. Team Holly wins. Plan backfire! Ashley goes to limbo and someone else from her alliance will most certainly join her. It sucks that Holly won’t be in limbo, but hey, you can’t get everything you want.

It’s time for the contestants to vote. Stephanie gets four votes and Kevin gets five. So Kevin joins Ashley in limbo and now it’s all in the viewers’ hands. And since Ashley has been in America’s bottom 2 every week (and Kevin is still undeniably the only attractive man in the house), Ashley is toast.

What did you think of this week’s episode? Whose team are you on?