Glass House Episode 5: More Of The Same

The same fights play out and a past contestant returns

Glass House Episode 5: More Of The Same

If you missed last week’s episode of The Glass House, just watch this week’s episode of The Glass House.

Because they pretty much felt like the exact same episode. The same repulsive people repulsed me. The same arguments were had. The same pointless tasks that the viewers voted on were assigned. The same pencil I used to jab out my right eye was used to jab out my left. OK, I’m kidding. But only about that last part.

This weeks’ episode picked up right after Kevin and Ashley was sent to limbo. Mike is pissed that Gene voted to send Kevin to limbo. Gene says he’s a “free agent.” No really, he said that. I didn’t make it up.

The only thing that appears different right away this week is that Andrea is starting to feel things out outside of her alliance. She remembers from her “fanswer” last week that America hates her alliance so she starts trying to make some bonds outside of her dwindling alliance.

This week’s ridiculous task voted on by the viewers forced Gene and Jeffrey to switch clothing. And it was as un-funny and as un-exciting as you can imagine. Way to go, America. Try to suck less next week.

Things almost get fun when Erika gets drunk and tries to fight with Holly, but Holly makes herself out to be a victim. “OMG I’m so hot that everyone hates me! I’m like totes a victim here!” That may or may not be what she said. I was busy asking my dog to kill me so I could stop watching The Glass House.

It’s bed time and Joy and Gene are in bed together. Joy says next time they need a “Wiener Wall” because apparently he was um … poking her … Yikes. Doesn’t Disney own ABC?

It’s time to find out who America decided they wanted out of the house – Kevin or Ashley. Let’s see, a hot salt-n-pepper cop or a contestant that has been put in the bottom two by America for like three weeks in a row. I wonder. Yeah, it’s Ashley. She’s beamed back down and out of the house FOREVER, as that lame voice over person thing says. What’s her name? Ari? Ori? Orifice?

Kevin rejoins the house and thankfully it’s time for my favorite part of the show: who does America hate the most! This week America decides to put Mike and Holly into the Bottom Two, meaning they’ll be the team captains for the week and one of them will land in limbo.

Mike’s team wins, meaning Holly is in limbo. That kind of blows because I think I’d rather Mike go home than Holly. Did I just say that?

The Glass House Episode 5 Andrea

A little later, the group is called to the portal and someone starts beaming up. It’s Prime Time 99 Alex and he’s got his bag with him. Finally, the show is going to be worth watching again. The contestants are all freaking out and Ori-fice tells them Alex is back … to deliver their “fanswers.” Psyche. LAME. Grrr. I wanted that Kind Douchebag back in the house!

Alex actually takes the opportunity to apologize to everyone and he says he’s being genuine but then totally forgets that part and starts spraying his douchenozzle all over the place again. Then he leaves again.

Uh-oh, it’s time to vote in Reality TV’s most theatrical and ridiculous voting method. Stephanie gets three votes. Kevin gets one. Andrea gets four. Andrea joins Holly in limbo. I think it’s a safe bet that Holly will be the one America decides to set free from The Glass House.

What did you think of The Glass House? Who do you think will be going home next week?

 

Comments

  • http://twitter.com/EhJayAych DaBa

    Please put this show out of it’s misery. Letting America vote on the outcome is a disaster, they’re rewarding people like Stephanie, Joy, and Gene who are absolutely awful. Meanwhile the only two funny guys left (Kevin and Mike) get shit on by the audience and Jeffrey is relegated to “make out with the straight women” duty.

    This little experiment was a disaster.

    • maymay

      Kevin and Mike aren’t funny, they’re horrible human beings.

      • http://twitter.com/EhJayAych DaBa

        Right… I bet you think Joy is sweet as pie though.

        I don’t watch the feeds or anything so maybe I’m missing something, but please elaborate on why you think they’re so bad.

      • Linda

        Are you serious? Mike and Kevin are the only ones making this show somewhat endurable. America voting is a TOTAL disaster. Look at their track record so far. They are keeping every loser…Erika, Jeffrey, Joy, Gene, Stephanie, and in that order. Horrible people being rewarded for horrible, annoying, and boring behavior. They picked the wrong side of the house to support. Typical.

  • Linda

    Are you serious? Mike and Kevin are the only ones making this show somewhat endurable. America voting is a TOTAL disaster. Look at their track record so far. They are keeping every loser…Erika, Jeffrey, Joy, Gene, Stephanie, and in that order. Horrible people being rewarded for horrible, annoying, and boring behavior. They picked the wrong side of the house to support. Typical.