Honey Boo Boo Does Not Disappoint

Top 5 moments and best quotes from Here Comes Honey Boo Boo

Honey Boo Boo Does Not Disappoint

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo premiered with two episodes Wednesday night and it was everything I expected and more.

We got to meet Honey Boo Boo’s dad Sugar Bear and her sisters Chickadee, Chubbs and Pumpkin. Oh, and we were reacquainted with her mom June. The show follows the family as they prepare for a big pageant at the end of the summer and as they make a couple stops a long the way, like the Redneck Games for example.

And since the show is such a cluster-freak train wreck, it’s impossible to do a traditional recap. So I’m going to share with you the Top 5 moments and some of the best quotes.

Top 5 Moments

1. June washes her hair in the kitchen sink. Apparently that’s where the entire family does this. I’m not sure why, but June mumbled something about you sit in your own filth in a bathtub so your hair gets cleaner in the sink? Fantastic. I’m just happy you don’t have to wash Big Mac containers because I’d hate for them to eat off dishes washed in sinks where they maintain their hygiene.

2. Pumpkin competes in a bobbing for pigs feet contest at the Redneck Games. No, really. Like REAL pigs feet. Floating in a tub of water. Dipping your face in the pig feet water. Picking them up with your mouth. Disgusting. And she doesn’t even win. Meanwhile, Chubbs and Honey Boo Boo compete in a mud pit belly flop contest. This family is insane.

3. Watching people swim in a river with a clear warning about entering at your own risk due to high levels of bacteria found in the water. At least June is smart (hahahaha) enough to not allow her kids to swim in the water.

4. Chubbs and June go on a diet. June weighs in and the scale goes to error. I think that means a diet is a very good idea.

5. The etiquette coach visits. For some reason, June decided her kids needed some table manners, so she hired a prim and proper etiquette coach to come over. The woman nearly had a stroke when she saw what she was dealing with. But she remained very proper, did her job, left, probably drove home and quietly screamed into a pillow.

Top Quotes

“The Redneck Games is a lot like the Olympics but with a lot of missing teeth and butt cracks showing.” — June

“All that vajiggle jaggle is not beautimos. You don’t see my shit hanging out … not my three bellies.” — June, on all the inappropriately dressed women at the Redneck Games.

“I hope y’all are getting that flesh-eating disease.” — Honey Boo Boo to the idiots swimming in the nasty river.

“If a person farts 10-15 times a day then they’re healthy. So I guess my girls are healthy…” — June

“We’re going to make you a pageant gay pig.” — Honey Boo Boo to her new boy pig she named Glitzy.

“Etiquette classes are for stupid people.” — Honey Boo Boo

“It’s called a biscuit because it looks like a biscuit.” — June referring to the family’s nickname for vagina. I’m not even joking.

Did you watch Here Comes Honey Boo Boo? What did you think of the first two episodes?

Comments

  • Angee_marie

    I still can’t grasp these ignorant people referring to a vajayjay as a Hardee’s biscuit! Like for real?

    • richard williams

      They are called pigs here in the south

  • AnnieO

    It’s not a vajayjay nor is it a biscuit. It is a vagina people!!!!! Rather ironic that someone who calls it a vajayjay complains about someone calling it a biscuit.

  • http://www.realitynation.com/author/charlie-toft/ Charlie Toft

    Hey, the woman is going to be a grandmother at 32. Who are we to question the wisdom of her use of “biscuit” as a euphemism?

    You know what struck me about the pig’s feet sequence? That was the healthiest thing anyone on that show had in their mouths all night long, and I’m not even joking.

  • http://twitter.com/branden628 Branden B

    Charlie, those are both GREAT points! Hahahahha

  • richard williams

    I think we have enough stupid shows in america, As a red neck myself I would be asshamed to be related to this trash. I sure hope it fails so we can get some good televsion back. We have repo shows, Progressive insurance commercals and so much garbage on TV now we have just disconected cable, Satellite and now get only Netflix. BY the way for all yall who think this is real life, Its not as it is all acting because we dont really have red neck games. We have wild ATV parks in the south with Beer, ATV,s, BBQ and wild mud riding with over 12,000 people in a given private park on many events. So go ahead and watch this dumb little show as it will be gone fast as it showed up. You might even see this parents at your local WalMart or McDonalds eating ten burgers before they have bypass surgery and a triple bypass before they are 39 years old, Now That is funny

  • Old South

    Just think If Honey Boo Boo’s mom caught a flesh eating virus it would take forever for those litte
    critters to get to the bone………the woman is a beast

  • JustJenna

    I couldn’t look at the screen during the pigs feet sequence. It literally made me sick to my stomach. I had to take slow deep breaths and keep my eyes tightly shut to avoid vomiting. How on Earth could a mother let her teenage daughter do something so absolutely foul?!

  • lil onez

    stooop know okay know your insulting boo boo and you have no right like soo vajayjay or biscuit who gives a holabalo.okay ps im a girl whats with the picture btw and im watching honey boo boo right know and she is getting places never din nothing to yall but yall wanna give this atitiude like dat…at least she have class and she in school and she loved by many and she and give no gossip on some winnie website so shut up like im gon make fun of the ppl who did .’…,
    1.charlie toft, she aint no grandma shes like mommy the sequal but u charlie must be ugly yo mama so fat she have here own area code
    2.annie shut yo winnie lil mouth before i do the job for u you got issue’s
    3.just jenna i thank you for being nice god bless
    4.old south you piss me off more that my cat when i have 2 clean her litter you might as well be a pro at insulting you aint getting too far with that mouth dont make me slap th balck or white off yo custy skin ashy leg billy
    5.richard will. omg i would be soo ashamed of u your a red neck curse u go to down bellow don’t say those stuff your not blessed okay imm not done here ill be back