Since last week was not up to my personal Jersey Shore standards, I’m counting on this week to be giving me double the amount of crazy and wild.
The show starts off with Snooki in a funk at work because all the girls keep asking her about her emotional status. Why do the girls always have to work in the kitchen, and the guys always get to talk on a mega phone outside? Even though it seems like the gang has only worked like 3 days in seven weeks, their boss is letting them have time off to go to Riccione, Italy for the weekend.
After a hard day at work, Snooki has another conversation with Jionni and she lets him know that her housemates are not down. Jionni decides not to come anymore, and Snooki calls him a “D-bag”. But the question everyone wants to know is… Are all the beaches in Italy nude? “TEAM CUCA!”
The gang squeezing into a Fiat with their luggage brings visions of clown cars dancing in my head. The girls and obviously Mike pack more than necessary for a 24 – hour trip to the beach. “What the Fiat?”
According to Geographer Nicole ‘Snooki’ Pelosi, “Riccione looks like Hawaii” so it must be an island, or it must be at least, “on the edge of a continent”. The girls rush out to get smashed and the bartender is confused when they start chanting “BLAST IN A GLASS”, and give him a lesson on what a “cuca” is. This talk prompts a local greased up dude to tell them they are inappropriate. The girls go shopping and Deanna and Snooki upset Sam and Jenny with their drunkenness, so Sam and Jenny decide to ditch them. While out on an excursion by themselves, Deanna and Snooki “find Heaven”, when they hear house music coming from a random D.J. set up. The guys show up just in time to watch “Team Meatball” dance like drunken fools and fall into bushes (Snooki).
Back at the hotel, Jenny and Sam get their primp on and agree that Snooki and Deanna have the same “abductive” look. Flash to Snooki and Deanna dancing so hard that Deanna’s “underwears” come off. In the words of Mike, “the meatballs are not making it to the sauce”, the “sauce” being dinner and a trip to zee disco.
Five courses later, Deanna and Snooki finally show up to dinner. Don’t panic, it appears “The Meatballs” WILL make it to the Disco. Looks like Jenny and Sam are going to spend their night babysitting. While at the club, Snooki calls Jenny “mom”, and Deanna has NO “underwears” on- everyone who was at the disco that night now knows that Deanna “is a wax”. I guess after her underwear came off earlier, Deanna never bothered to put on a new pair. However, Deanna does NOT care even when she is dancing on a reflective surface. As fast as you can say, “lezagna”, Deanna and Snooki are straight “digesting each other’s tongues” and Jenny is ready to puke. –“Lez be honest”, they make out for 3 hours.
The next morning Ronnie does the wake up call. Just so you know, the meaning of “SWACK” means “swagger jacked”, and Ronnie is jacking Pauly’s swag. While out for brunch the morning after Snoooki and Deanna’s steamy “hook-up”, the guys talk about how Jionni has a right to be suspicious, and that cheating with a girl is still cheating. Jenny and Sam go shopping because the other two girls are home passed out. Jenny states that she wishes that she had the “Men in Black” mind zapper so that she could erase her memory of last night.
When Snooki and Deanna finally wake up, they claim they don’t remember anything from the night before. The girls and guys fill them in, and Snooki becomes worried that Jionni will take her night with Deanna the wrong way.
Even though Snooki drove part way with the parking break still on, the gang makes it back to the house. As soon as the Fiat is parked at the curb, Snooki decides to tell Jionni about her beach weekend. The fact that she didn’t even take her Hello Kitty hat off before making a beeline to the phone shows how much Snooki loves Jionni. Does anyone else miss the duck phone? In private, Jenny states her belief that Jionni could very well break up with Snooki over the Deanna thing, and that if this were to happen, Snooki would be taking the next flight back to Jersey. Everyone can breathe easily however, because Jionni doesn’t feel that Snooki making out with Deanna is a big deal.
The morning after their weekend away, Deanna, Snooki and Mike go to work. Mike is a brand new Mike and decides to actually work, while the girls try to hide in what appear to be wastepaper baskets of some sort. After work, “The Meatballs” decide to take the car and drive to the gym. Needless to say, the drive is treacherous, ending only when Snooki plows into the back end of a police car. It could have been worse however, she could have killed a couple people on scooters. To add insult to injury, Snooki forgot her driver’s liscence at home, and is escorted into the back of a cop car.
Will the Italian government deport them?! Doesn’t look like it because next week Jionni makes a visit, and Mike finds a surprise for him in his bed!
Tune in next week, but if you forget, there’s always your Jersday Juice-Up! The next best thing!