GLOSSARY: A Guide To Speaking Jersey Shore

Learn the eloquent tongue of Jersey Shore

GLOSSARY: A Guide To Speaking Jersey Shore

Even if you’re a fan of Jersey Shore, it can sometimes be hard to keep their many catchphrases straight.

Was that a landmine or a grenade? Was he creepin’ or trying to smoosh? Knowing the answers to these questions may not be a matter of international importance, but it can help you better understand the highly intellectual conversations that take place between The Situation and his housemates.

So when the Shore kids’ lingo got up to four acronyms — GTL, MVP, IFF and GFF — we decided it was time to lay everything out in writing. We’ll update this file as necessary, too.

Fist pump!

Cuca: A vagina. Example: Deena accidentally showed me her cuca last night.

DTF: Down to f***. Example: You could tell by this girl’s actions that she was totally DTF.

Get it in: To  have sex. Example: J-Woww claimed the smoosh room before we went out, because she knew she wanted to get it in with Roger.

Robbery: To pilfer a sure hook-up or smooshing prospect from a roommate. Example: I went to the bathroom and came back only to find that Mike had committed a robbery on my girl!

Sloppopotamus: When a person gets beyond sloppy drunk, they become a sloppopotamus (a combination of a sloppy drunk and hippopotamus). Example: She fell down in the street and we had to carry her home. Total sloppopotamus!

Stage five clinger: A person who becomes attached to someone else, to the point of being harassing. Often, it is a previous hook-up, but doesn’t have to be. Also referred to as stalker. Example: I finally had to call a cab and go home because I couldn’t get rid of this stage five clinger.

T-shirt time: Just before the JS dudes leave to go out, they put on their finest tees (read: graphic print monstrosities adorned with rhinestones) with which to woo the ladies. If their departure is delayed after t-shirt time has been proclaimed, they have been known to change into yet another t-shirt before leaving the house.

Trashbag:
A girl of reputable morals and/or hygiene. Example: Bro, she was such a trashbag, I couldn’t even hook up with her!

Beat up the beat : A term used to describe the group’s dance moves in the club. Per Pauly D: “That’s what we say when we’re doing our fist pump. First we start off banging the ground. As the beat builds, it’s like the beat is hittin’, so we’re fighting back. We are beating up the beat.”

Creepin’: On the prowl for a hook-up at the bar. Example: Ronnie and Sammi got into a fight and now he’s out creepin’.

Double-bagger: A repulsively homely man or woman. “You put a bag over your head in case the one on her head falls off.” Example: I got so drunk last night, I ended up coming home with a double-bagger.

GTL: An acronym for “Gym, Tan, Laundry” — the ritual the guys perform each night before they go out. Example: We’ve got to get our GTL on!

Gorilla: A very muscular man; a meathead. Also referred to as gorilla juicehead. Example: I got myself a gorilla!

Grenade :”A bigger, ugly chick,” says The Situation. Example: The club was full of grenades.

Grenade Free Foundation: The Jersey Shore guys’ attempt to have a summer void of ugly chicks. Example: I am the president of the Grenade Free Foundation.

I’m F***ed Foundation: When you screw up so badly that nothing on Earth can fix it, you belong to this club. Also known as I.F.F. Example: When Sammi finds out about Ronnie, he’s the charter member of the I.F.F.

Landmine: Similar to grenade, “a thin, ugly chick.” Example: There are landmines and grenades everywhere.

MVP: Acronym for Mike, Vinny and Pauly. Example: It’s MVP night! No girls allowed — unless they’re in our beds!

Ron-Ron juice: A special alcoholic concoction that Ronnie makes in batches for his roommates. Example: I accidentally dunked my sleeve in the Ron-Ron juice and now it’s stained.

The shirt before the shirt :A wifebeater that the guys sit around in before they get dressed to go out. Example: Which shirt before the shirt should I wear? Black or white?

Sloppy Joe: This is when a person is drunk times ten million. Example: Did you see her rolling around on the floor over there? She’s Sloppy Joe, man.

Smoosh: To engage in sexual intercourse. Example: Bro, I smooshed her last night!

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