Big Ang Episode 5 begins with Ang continuing to move into her home and thousands of dollars of new and reupholstered furniture arrives in droves. Ang’s Baby Huey hubby Neil is there to help with things since he is moving back in, but he doesn’t seem very happy about Ang’s exuberant taste in furnishings. Ang and Neil arrange things and roll out a heavenly, white, fluffy rug that Ang says is “like walking on cotton.” Neil, not impressed, says, “What you got is a nice rug for Louie to pee on.” Ang knows damn well that he’s right because that little guy pisses on everything, so she decides it’s time for Louie to get “fixed”.
Taking a break from moving, Big Ang drops by her bar in Staten Island, the Drunken Monkey. Her BFF of 28-years, Margo, is working the bar and offers Ang a Bloody Mary which Ang is quick to accept. They talk about an upcoming trip, their 3rd Annual Atlantic City Bus Trip, where patrons and workers of The Drunken Monkey take an alcohol fueled road trip and gamble their rent money away. The women talk about a crazy lady who ran up and down the aisles of the bus last year, with her tits hanging out. They hope to not have a repeat this year. “I think she was giving bj’s,” says Ang. They laugh at the woman’s supposedly monstrous boobs. Ironic.
Ang takes Louie to the vet to find out about getting him neutered in hopes of taming his aggression and to help with that peeing problem of his. Ang worries because last time she had a Pomeranian put under anesthesia it died. Ang frets in the waiting room and even sheds a few tears until the doctor comes out and tells her Louie did just fine. However, when he comes out of surgery he is completely out of it and it freaks Ang out. Louie is on his back, swaddled in a blanket. His tongue hangs out the side of his mouth and he looks like he’s passed out after a long night at the Drunken Monkey.
Ang wants her 23-year-old son AJ to move back in with her, but isn’t happy that he drinks, gambles and parties. (Gee, I wonder where he gets it?) To butter him up she takes him shopping for clothes and invites him to come with her crew on the trip to Atlantic City.
The next day the bus arrives to pick up the alcoholic bunch that range from boozing grandparents to slutty bartenders. Ang gets up to read the bus rules to the group. “The rules are, no rules!” Let the drinking Olympics begin.
Shotgunning beers, chugging from flasks, and dirty dancing in full force. Meanwhile AJ sleeps. Up doing a little blow the night before perhaps?
Sandy, the old broad who got wasted at Big Ang’s house warming party, practically fornicated with the bartender in the hot tub then promptly fell out of it, is on the bus and we learn that her nasty fall resulted in 40 stitches.
The bus arrives in Atlantic City and the out of control group go gambling. Sadly we don’t get to see hardly any of their trip, but I’ll take that as we didn’t miss anything except for more drinks consumed and lots of money lost.
It’s time to leave and the party bus heads home. On the way the driver makes a pit stop at a rest area. One of the Drunken Monkey patrons, a chunky “good ol’ boy” wearing a cowboy hat and drinking Budweiser, takes a piss on the side of the bus. His fat ass too lazy to walk to the restrooms apparently. Ang says she can’t stand the guy. He plays a “cowboy song” over and over in the bar and it drives her crazy. Besides, he’s been kicked out time and time again. The group consider leaving him there at the rest area.
And they do.
The party bus rolls on home and the drinking continues. The little guy rides on people’s shoulders and guzzles beer while all the chubby, drunk grandparents dance and grab each other inappropriately. Total freak show.
Not long after returning home, AJ gets arrested on drug charges. Ang says this is why she wants him to live with her, so she can watch over him. “I never wanted my son to go through what I’ve been through. Been there, regret every minute,” says Ang as she refers to her own cocaine arrest a decade ago. She vows to stand by AJ though, and wants to help him through it.
Next week on Big Ang, we see the aftermath of AJ’s arrest, something he claims is a “conspiracy,” and I bet you we’ll see the momma’s boy move back in with Big Momma. He’s going to need money for his legal woes, and the drug money won’t exactly be flowing in after his arrest…