“Big Ang” Episode 1: Ang’s Husband, Bronzed Boobs

It's all about boys, boobs and booze on Big Ang's new show!

“Big Ang” Episode 1: Ang’s Husband, Bronzed Boobs

Big Ang’s new reality show on VH1 kicked off last night and it was everything I had hoped for. Close-ups of Ang’s spray tanned melons, cocktails morning, noon and night, and shirtless “shot guys”.

We also had the pleasure of meeting Big Ang’s husband who was nothing like I expected he would be, but then again he was exactly what I expected him to be. I knew he was a cheating, lying husband (according to Ang), but I didn’t know he was a Baby Huey loser who apparently didn’t have a bank account or a vehicle before the couple became somewhat estranged and he moved in with his mother. Yeah, everything about this guy is hot. Barf.

The couple live apart after being married for 4-years, but get together occasionally. On this instance Neil informs Big Ang that he thinks he is “ready to move back in.” Of course he is, the cameras are there and Ang is making money with her new show. Time to go back to leeching from her. Not really sure why these two are still together, but any ideas I had about him being a “wise guy” went out the window as soon as I saw him.

Big Ang's husband Neil

“I think you’ll like the new me, I have a bank account, a new truck…” – Neil the loser.

Big Ang seems to have more fun with her friends than Neil and she’s on the fence about letting him move back in with her. Her sister Janine likes him and is excited for a reunion, but Ang’s lifelong BFF’s can’t stand him.

Speaking of the BFF’s, we saw a lot of “Little Jen” and Linda, two of Ang’s lifelong girlfriends who like to party just as much as Ang, and are about as obnoxious. Little Jen had pancreatic cancer and was in a coma for 6-months at one point but seems to be doing fine now, she’s 53 and is afraid to live alone so she lives with her parents. WTF is with everyone living at home?

Old school shots of the ladies:

“Crazy Linda” is Big Ang’s friend since they were 13-years-old and she’s a bleach blonde who apparently likes to get wasted and fall out of hot tubs. My kinda girl. Hey, at least she doesn’t live at home with her parents.

A.J. is Ang’s son who is 23 and as you probably heard was arrested for selling cocaine to a cop recently. Looks like we might also get to see that next week. He’s an obvious mama’s boy who likes the finer things in life but wants to get them the quick, easy and dangerous way. So we might see him at mama’s house sooner than we think….or in the clink.

Janine is Ang’s sister, 6-years her junior and lives in some huge mansion. She’s burley, looks meaner than shit and is generally one of those broads that even the 20-something tough girls won’t mess with. Alpha male biotch. So of course I love her. Ang says Janine tries to act like her mother but I think Ang might need such a person in her life. Sure, everyone loves Big Ang, but I’m guessing she isn’t exactly the greatest at life organizational skills.

On the premiere episode we learn that Ang’s bar, The Drunken Monkey has been newly renovated, just in time for the show. (I have a hunch VH1 may have helped out with that a bit.) Anyhow, Ang needs hot guys (by her standards, not mine) to be working the bar because Ang wants eye candy for the ladies and she and her girlfriends need hardbodies to grope after they’re “whacked,” a.k.a. “wasted”.

Animated Big Ang

So Ang and Linda pick out their 4 hotties to work the grand opening of the renovated bar and the party was on. Lots of shots, hard body contests, drunk old loose women, and yes, a little person in a Drunken Monkey suit dancing on the bar. This place doesn’t disappoint.

Drunken Monkey on bar Staten Island

Of course the show wouldn’t be complete without some footage of Big Ang’s nearly naked boobs and bod. I don’t care WHO you are, you can’t help but look…okay, STARE…at Big Ang’s ginormous breasticles. If you say you can’t, you’re lying.

Big Ang body bikini boobs

Next week it looks like we’ll get to see Big Ang go house hunting, her son A.J. will be arrested (I assume for the cocaine thing), and Linda will get drunker than Lindsay Lohan at an open bar! (Then strip down to her granny panties and full figure bra and fall her drunk ass out of a hot tub. Sounds like one of my parties.)

Check out Big Ang every Sunday night at 9pm/8C only on VH1 and make sure you are following Big Ang on Twitter @BiggAngVH1!

Comments

  • Paul Paul

    If you do go to parties like that …. I so want to be invited!

  • Angelam53076

    If you’re going to write an article you should know what you’re talking about. It was Sandy, not Linda who fell out of the hot tub.