Season One, episode six of Mob Wives Chicago and these ladies are still brawling, ripping out each other’s hair and acting like drunk high schoolers.
Lazy Christina, who has decided it’s finally time to get off her ass and start working again, returns to her true love of fashion designing. Apparently this was something she did at one time in her life, but from the looks of it, she’s not very good at it. But she’s feeling inspired and decides to have a party to celebrate her newfound motivation.
Pia stops by her place and immediately starts complaining about Nora. She tells Christina that Nora is thinking about not going to the party because Renee will be there. Pia points out that she has a problem with Renee too but is still going to support Christina by attending. Pia is also pissed that Renee looks down on her for stripping but she points out that Nora was a stripper at one time too. Christina laughs at the thought of Nora stripping, as do we. Because, well, that would be like watching a plucked chicken work the pole.
Pia works herself up into a frothy mess, like she always does, and starts ranting about how if Nora touches her at the party, she will “break her motherf***ing head open.”
Meanwhile, Nora has managed to stir up drama with nearly the entire Mob Wives Chicago cast but claims she wants to get away from the drama and concentrate on why she came back to Chicago. To confirm it was indeed her father’s body, notorious hit man Frank “The German” Schweiss, that was buried at a funeral home years ago.
Nora calls the funeral home and demands records about her father’s burial. The person on the other end of the line tells her, “I can’t give you that information over the phone,” and says that the family requested all his records be “private.” This sends Nora into a tizzy and she starts barking, “You know what? No one witnessed my father going into the ground. The funeral director calls my sister and says ‘we’re going to put him in the ground,’ and she says, ‘oh, yeah, just let them drop him off like a dirty dog’ … I have no closure.” Nora goes on to ask the woman at the funeral home if it was her dad, and she didn’t know for sure if it was his body in the ground, would she want to find out the truth? The woman agrees, and Nora says, “Now you know where I’m coming from.”
Nora is told that if she is really serious about it, she can request to have the body exhumed. “Yes, I can have him resumed,” says Nora, STILL not understanding the word is exhume and not resume. Sharp nail, that one. She learns that in order to have the body exhumed all family members must sign off on it. This is deflating news to her.
In keeping with her poor, dead father storyline, Nora says she has the genius idea of making a red wine in honor of her father, the man who allegedly murdered Marilyn Monroe and others. It would be called, “The German,” after his notorious nickname. Christina jokes that it would be “killer” wine.
Christina’s party finally gets underway and everyone is there excet for Renee, who is always fashionably late.
Nora starts off by putting on a front for everyone by saying that she and Pia get along, eventually, but that they have a love/hate relationship. Pia is made uncomfortable by this because she hates backstabbing rat Nora and doesn’t want to be told ANYTHING about their relationship. Christina tells Pia that she should confront Nora, and immediately we can feel the tensions rising. Nora excuses herself briefly and when she returns she is bitching about having food poisoning, and she’s not trying very hard to be convincing.
Leah follows her out and Nora switches from complaining about food poisoning to complaining about Renee being late to the party. Nora, making it ALL about her, as usual. I can’t stand the twat.
Right as Nora is leaving, Renee is entering. They pass each other without fighting and once outside Nora tells Leah that she simply doesn’t feel good and wants to leave. She’s almost in tears and must be realizing that she is likely to get an ass whooping if she sticks around. She’s just not woman enough to admit it.
Christina decides she is going to call Nora and get her to return to the party. Renee and Pia are both fired up and anxious to confront Nora about her behavior. While waiting for her, both Renee and Pia talk about Nora and their own damaged relationship.
Nora finally shows back up and plays the “dead father” card, blaming her temper on the fact that she is preoccupied with getting closure about her dad. Renee, a few Mojitos deep by now, is the first to go up to Nora. She blurts out, “How ya feeling?!” Nora, having no fighting skills whatsoever, plays dead. Verbally. ”I have no idea who you are right now. I have amnesia.”
Renee fires back, “I tell you what, bitch, you’re gonna know who I am!”
The screaming and peacocking escalates until Renee’s botox literally bubbles under her tightened skin. Pia joins in on the fun and Nora keeps spitting insults, but won’t get up from her seat. When she finally does, she goes toe-to-toe with Pia who bitch slaps her after Nora calls her a whore. Yes, Nora deserved it. She deserves all of it. It is finally raining karma on the instigator of the show.
Nora wanders around, looking pissed but has NO CLUE how to fight. She throws a cheap shot at Renee but can’t connect. That’s when Renee goes batshit crazy on her. Renee immediately grabs hold of Nora’s stringy hair. Once people manage to break up the fight, Nora looks red in the face and minus a few strands of hair. Renee is on her hands and knees begging Nora to fight her. Nora, not knowing what else to do at this point, starts screaming at Renee, “Your father raped you, every night!”
Huh? Where did that come from? It wasn’t true, Nora simply was trying to say the most disgusting thing she could to Renee, and I suppose that did the trick, but WTF would you say THAT? True or not, Renee didn’t take to kindly to the accusations and proceeded to beat the living shit out of Nora.
To be continued….
Honestly, this show is MAYBE one notch above Jerry Springer on the trashy scale…? If that? I’m thinking the show could be called The Trashy Attention Whores of Wherever The Camera Is. I find myself anticipating the hair ripping, the drink throwing and the degradation, because I sure as hell ain’t watching it for the storylines.
Do you think prefer the cast of Mob Wives or Mob Wives Chicago?