The Real Housewives of Atlanta was pretty tame on the drama this week — perhaps because Bravo knew everyone would be watching the Grammys anyway.
But being the troupers that we are, we went ahead and watched for you, and we’re here to tell you that you didn’t miss a whole lot last night — especially considering the cat fights these ladies usually turn in. It’s amazing how tame things can be once you omit NeNe Leakes and Kenya Moore from the group equation.
There was, however, a health scare and a parting of ways, at least as far as business is concerned. Here’s what happened with each Hotlanta Housewife:
This week, much of the focus was on Porsha, the series’ youngest and least intellectually-gifted member. The housewife was planning a Harlem Nights themed, 40th birthday party for her husband, Kordell. And while she wanted to wear a lovely, but somewhat demure blue princess dress, her mother reminded her that she needed “to let a husband enjoy looking at his wife.” In other words, let’s see some tits and/or ass.
“I am his Barbie doll,” Porsha admitted. “As long as he can see my silhouette, he will love it.”
In other haps, Porsha insisted she was tired of being disrespected by Cynthia, whom she was helping out with a beauty pageant. But Cynthia had something else to say about that…
Fed up with Porsha’s help, or lack thereof, Cynthia decided to (nicely) tell Porsha she didn’t need her anymore. Working on tight deadline, Cynthia had requested two things from Porsha, whose family charity would benefit from the pageant: A logo, and an information sheet, both things that should be easy to get, but neither of which had been delivered after a week’s time.
Of course, Porsha was highly insulted, whereas Cynthia just saw it as something that needed to be done to help move the event forward.
At Kordell’s party, Kordell sat down with Cynthia and Porsha and tried to force a resolution for the non-issue. Because why actually enjoy yourself on your 40th birthday?
Cynthia found Kordell’s intrusion a bit controlling, but Porsha was relieved he had stepped in. We, meanwhile, gave zero sh*ts and wished we were watching the Grammys. I mean, this little tiff wasn’t worth the screen time Bravo wasted on it.
After taking a break from her music to move into her new house, Kandi stopped by the studio to discuss a new idea with her peeps. How about if I record some gospel music? Her idea was met with raucous laughter, in part because she hosts a sexy radio show and sells a line of sex toys. Then again, her potential listeners probably aren’t tuning into Kandi Koated Nights, and she secured the help of gospel great, Marvin Sapp, which gave the project a bit of legitimacy.
The chorus of her song: “I stay prayed up.”
Am I the only one who finds that phrase hilarious?
Phaedra stopped by Kandi’s house, where the two discussed Kenya’s attention-seeking behavior in the last episode. Even though Phaedra seemed annoyed at the time, she assured Kandi that she hadn’t given it another thought. In fact, she implied, the whole thing was kind of flattering. “I thought she was lightweight obsessed or something,” she said. “She is such a fan.”
We might have believed Phaedra’s non-chalance a little bit more if she hadn’t have thrown a jab at Kendra in the next sentence. If you’re going to show up somewhere in panties, Phaedra said, “at least let them have a satin finish. Those were Victoria’s Secret free coupon panties.” She also accused Kenya of having a “Home Depot booty,” which might be funnier if we understood what it meant.
This week, Kenya had a breast cancer scare, and spent her portions of the show getting some masses biopsied. End result: benign, thank goodness. Kenya may be an idiot, but we obviously don’t wish cancer upon anyone. We’re interested to see if this super scary event will make her a nicer person.
But we’re thinking … probably not.
Meantime, Porsha invited Kenya’s ex, Walter, to the party, where he hung with Peter and Kordell and cemented his ‘in’ with the group.
Still out in L.A., NeNe made a courtesy appearance with Gregg to remind us she’s still on the cast of this show.
But let’s be honest: NeNe’s already got one foot out the door of Real Housewives. We have a feeling her “bloop bloop” days are numbered.
If NeNe left RHOA, would you still want to watch?