The only thing better than seeing a bunch of Real Housewives get into arguments is watching them do it while wielding whips, donning terrible wigs and wearing pleather costumes. And we certainly got our fill of that during the season five finale of The Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Kenya Moore’s costume party honoring iconic black women in film was the backdrop for the last sh*tstorm of the season. To begin, Kenya met with party planners and staged performances around all the characters she assigned to other cast members. At the same time, Porsha’s friends were busy convincing her that Kenya was trying to make a fool of her by asking her to come as Halle Berry from BAPS.
So when the party kicked off, Porsha arrived — but not in the small orange outfit and gold tooth she was decked out in earlier. Instead, she came as Halle Berry’s Dorothy Dandridge. “I came looking like a Hollywood actress, honey,” Porsha told cameras.”I don’t do a gold tooth.”
Obviously, drama queen Kenya (who was looking fabulous as Pam Grier’s Foxy Brown) was outraged that Porsha dared show up at a costume party in a get-up that had not been pre-approved. Instead of just going with the flow and entertaining her 300 guests, Kenya acted as though Porsha had arrived wearing a “Kenya Sucks” sandwich board and made a huge scene.
Said Kenya, “You’re not gonna come in here and disrespect MY party.”
Next, she gathered up two meat head security guards to kick Porsha out of the costume party … for wearing a costume. The other ‘wives were upset over Kenya’s overreaction, but it was Cynthia Bailey’s husband, Peter, who rallied the Housewives. “None of us are going in there. F*** her and her party,” he said.
As they all stood in the driveway, Cynthia hopped on the phone to call NeNe Leakes, who hadn’t arrived yet, to catch her up to speed. NeNe was disgusted with Kenya and summed things up concisely. “There’s a difference between keepin’ it real, and keepin’ it real f***ing crazy.”
NeNe, who rocked it out as Grace Jones, got there and immediately went inside to talk to Kenya about her social skills. “Don’t f*** someone over because you can. Don’t burn bridges,” advised the same woman who almost strangled Kim Zolciak on Kandi’s tour bus. “We are one. We are supposed to be one.”
Kenya stood her ground, saying Porsha had the “audacity” to defy her costume party rules. NeNe told her she was being a jackass, so Kenya went outside to do damage control. She apologized to the group for making things uncomfortable, but didn’t specifically say sorry to Porsha. The women were all like, Maybe she should have come as BAPS, but she still dressed up, so loosen up, Kenya.
“That’s not what a party is about,” said Kandi, who wasn’t all that jazzed about having to don a crazy Tina Turner wig. “A party is about having fun.”
Kenya maintained that Porsha was disrespectful, and Porsha goes, “You’re the one with the malice content!” Perhaps embarrassed by his wife’s lack of vocabulary skills and definitely wanting to control the situation, Kordell jumped in to defend his wife. Kenya told him to put a sock in it, and he yelled, “If you’re talking to her, you’re talking to me!”
Kenya never issued an individual apology, but Porsha ultimately decided to stay for the good of the group. Besides, she said, “I’m looking too fierce and fabulous to let (her) waste my outfit.”
At the end of the night, everyone sat down and got along, wrapping up a tumultuous season with a big, happy
fabricated bow. But we’re sure that will all change during the reunion special next week.
Other plot points from the finale:
– Phaedra was launching a line of self-defense taser guns called “Phaedra Sparks.” After all, not every woman has a huge donkey booty with which to smother their attackers.
– Porsha and Kordell, went to a therapy session. At first, they discussed their method of arguing. Porsha admitted she usually just let things go, and Kordell agreed. “It’s not about winning, because if it is, you will lose every, single time.”
They also talked about whether Porsha would be “allowed” to have both a career and a baby. Kordell said that his mother was at home with kids, and he wanted his wife to do the same. The therapist said women work and mother all the time, and that parenting was a two-person role. What are you willing to do to help her achieve all her dreams? the therapist asked Kordell. **Crickets**
Last week, Kordell filed for divorce. Raise your hand if you’re surprised.
The epilogue also revealed updates on the other women.
Kandi officially got engaged to Todd, and Cynthia was planning her next pageant and living a normal, drama-free life.
NeNe scored a 15 carat engagement ring from Gregg, and continued to live bicoastally while looking for other acting gigs.
Phaedra is expecting baby No. 2. No word on whether she’ll throw another 200-guest baby shower.
Kenya is dating an oil tycoon, and we’re pretty sure she’s already drilling him on having a baby.
What are your predictions for the reunion?
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