Based on last week’s previews, we expected a knock-down, drag out fight to occur on The Real Housewives of Miami when Joanna Krupa confronted her fiance about cheating on her.
Instead, the two had a fairly civilized conversation over a dinner that Joanna prepared, and the real drama was between Joanna and Marta as the two bickered their way through the risotto preparation.
Marta had already moved into Lisa’s house, but Joanna called Marta over to help her make the special meal for Romain. Joanna made colossal messes in the kitchen, while Marta cleaned them up and yelled at her sister for trying to do something nice for the a man who had cheated on her. It was classic sister bickering, with a couple of “I hate yous” thrown in for good measure.
In the end, dinner turned out and nobody died from food poisoning. Success!
In other events, most of the ladies attended a party that Alexia hosted for her magazine, and in typical Housewives fashion, nobody enjoyed themselves in the least.
Here were the most watchable moments from last night’s show:
Elsa makes a threat
When Marysol’s mama said that she wanted hit drag queen Elaine with her pocketbook, it would have been more effective if she weren’t slurring all her words. Instead, Elsa had to repeat everything she said numerous times, making it more confusing than threatening.
Why don’t Lea and Marysol just cage match?
This passive aggressive, back and forth tension between Lea and Marysol over a year-old skirmish was again palpable at the party. We Just let ‘em duke it out, and then have Lisa’s plastic surgeon hubby piece their faces back together.
Adriana confronts Karent
Adriana pulled Karent aside, saying she didn’t want to talk behind her back. Too bad that ship sailed two episodes ago. Anyway, she told Karent she was an attention-whore who “bulldozed her way through other people’s moments.” As Karent got ready to respond, Alexia came over to assess the situation, telling Karent “you just came into this group and need to earn your place.”
Really? Is being on arguably the least popular Real Housewives franchise something to be earning your way into?
Karent tried to be nice to Alexia, saying she wished her and her recently injured son well. But when Karent brought up Alexia’s son, Alexia went cra cra and booted her out of the party. A party ain’t a party until someone gets kicked to the curb.
Karent gets in her braggin’.
During the above argument, Adriana told Karent, “I don’t come into your office and pull people’s teeth. Karent was all, “No. You can’t,” making the point that an art dealer wasn’t nearly bright enough to do such a thing. She also managed to squeeze in that she was an actress and a spokesperson for Colgate. We imagine she’ll shape up to the be the one-upper of this cast.
Joanna goes snooping.
When her fiance, Romain, left his computer on, Joanna pounced on his email. There, she found out he’d been texting/flirting with another woman, and also that at one point, he had planned on leaving her. Nothing good ever comes from snooping, man. Not even for hot, blonde models.
Ana all up in her hubby’s business
As Ana and Robert edged toward their divorce, they met to figure out how to separate their joint law practice. However, Ana just used it as an excuse to dictate what Robert should do in his post-divorce relationship. She insisted he ask his next bride for a prenup, and then made him write down the promise on a piece of paper and also video the event. And he obliged! Seriously, are we in the twilight zone here?
Ana and Alexia met, and Alexia debriefed her on kicking Karent out of her party. Ana went on to insult Karent some more, and say that Karent made her “embarrassed to be part of the same gender.” Well, guess what, Ana? That little scene with your husband made US embarrassed to be of your gender. What comes around goes around, sister.
Romain and Joanna hash it out.
After Romain picked up his jaw off the floor that Joanna prepared a home-cooked meal, the two sat down to eat and discuss where their relationship was headed. Joanna admitted to checking his messages, and he admitted that he did want to leave her at one point because they never spent any time together. We know they work it out, though, because we follow them both on Twitter. So, not really as intriguing a plot as Bravo may have hoped.
At this point, we’re stumped: Who is the hottest mess on this show?