RHONJ: Kid’s Parties Are Made For Fighting

Melissa and Teresa exchange words at Gia's party

RHONJ: Kid’s Parties Are Made For Fighting

Another kid’s event, another argument between the Real Housewives of New Jersey.

While it wasn’t as tragic as the melee that broke out during the Melissa’s son’s christening in the season three premiere, Gia’s 12th birthday party didn’t go down without a kerfuffle between Teresa and Melissa.

Instead of just ignoring each other, as most people who hate each other do, the sisters-in-law tried to have a conversation, which ended in embarrassment for everyone. The common person between the two — Joe Gorga — was at home with a massive flu bug, the bathroom portion of which he described in nauseating detail throughout the show.

It started innocently enough, as the two discussed Teresa’s ailing father, who had recently been admitted to the hospital with pneumonia. Teresa asked if Melissa had been to visit him, and she said she had. But Teresa said Melissa went four days after his admission, which, in her opinion wasn’t fast enough. Melissa stammered and got defensive, trying to count down the days aloud. Then she got fed up and told Teresa to leave her alone, to which Teresa replied, “I’m not interrogazing you, sweetheart.” God, I love Teresa’s butchering of the English language.

Melissa switched gears, claiming she had also been sick and didn’t want to expose her father-in-law to her illness.

However, she was well enough to go to an exercise class with Kathy, which Teresa became privy to after a mutual friend called to tell her.

Melissa said they should talk at a different time because a child’s birthday party wasn’t the proper place to be going at it. But too late! Gia came into the room to find the two arguing and called them on it. Lord knows everything is embarrassing when you’re a tween, but this? Like, Oh Em Gee!

Hey man, at least nobody threw any blows.

In other news:

– Caroline’s sister moved yet another animal into her house — this time, a pot-bellied pig named Moo Shu. Caroline said they’d stay in the Hoboken apartment for a few days so that Albert wouldn’t see the swine, and her sister promised with pig would sleep in the garage — and that she would sleep next to it.

– In other bizarre slumber arrangements, Jacqueline continued trying to help her son’s autism by buying a hyperbolic chamber bed for him to take naps in. He seemed quite comfy in the enclosed bed, but we’d probably rather take our chances next to the pig. Claustrophobia, anyone?

– In an attempt to be the “fun aunt,” Kathy’s sister, Rosie, took Joseph out for a practice drive in Richie’s Ferrari. They cruised around town, while Rosie encouraged him to be confident, and perhaps even told him to gun the engine a few times. Everyone thought it was fun except Kathy, who blew a gasket when they got back home.
Kathy wasn't happy about Joseph's joy ride
Hey man, you can’t keep you kid in a bubble. Or maybe you can… a hyperbolic chamber bubble.

– Caroline shared with Joe Gorga and Jacqueline the details of her talk with Teresa. Joe didn’t really seem too keen on getting back together with his sister, and Jacqueline just laughed it off. In other words, nobody really misses Teresa yet. Poor Caroline may have to find someone else’s life to meddle in this season.

Did you buy Melissa’s story?