RHONY: It’s Aviva Versus Ramona During the Least Relaxing Vacation Ever

Plus, we finally find out how Sonja gets all those bruises!

RHONY: It’s Aviva Versus Ramona During the Least Relaxing Vacation Ever

Is it just me, or have these past two episodes of The Real Housewives of New York been the best ones all season? This current St. Barths vacation is shaping up to be just as dramatic as the infamous Kelly Bensimon “Satchels of gold!” tropical jaunt from a few years back.

This week, Aviva Drescher arrived to St. Barths, where the other Housewives have already been vacationing, drinking and fornicating for a few days. But not all the ladies were excited to see her, being that she brought along her hubby, Reid, and all. (He served as moral support to help Aviva conquer her many phobias about traveling.) Even though Reid brought tons of work along to keep him away from the idiocy, Ramona and Sonja were upset because they thought that his presence on the compound would change the estrogen-filled dynamics of things.

Aviva wasn’t too happy about the lukewarm welcome they received, especially since getting there was “really, really hard” for her, a fact she brought up approximately 4,198 times. As you may have gathered from previews, all hell broke loose between her and Ramona, before Aviva even had time to take off her peach traveling blazer.

Other highlights from last night’s ep: Sonja flirted shamelessly with Tomas when he visited their house for the second time in two days. Ramona had more first world problems, and Carole got roped into more drama than she probably ever bargained for when she signed up for this show.

Here, we continue our countdown-style recap to determine the winners and losers from this year’s vacation. Last week, each cast member began with 50 points, and have gained and lost points based on what they’ve done and things that have happened to them.

SONJA (46)
– Wins the old lady flirt fest to mount French Johnny Depp lookalike (+3), but at what point will she be sad to be slurping LuAnn’s sloppy seconds? (-2)
– With her conquest, Sonja creates a loud commotion in one of the spare bedrooms. Heather walks in on Tomas, who is, um, barreling down Sonja’s back door. Heather says she now understand how Sonja gets all those bruises (-4)
– Next day, Sonja has new bruises (-2), but is as cheerful as a woman can be after  having a one-night stand (+3)
– With Ramona, Sonja is topless in the swimming pool but fails to put on her bikini top when Aviva and Reid arrive. After all, why be modest now? (-1)
– When Aviva starts going bonkers on Ramona and Sonja, she calls them “white trash.” Sonja seems a bit more hurt by the insult, which perhaps stems from the above four entries on this list (-5)
– Tries to smooth things over with Aviva after the blowout, but later cries in her room because her feelings are hurt. Apparently the Tylenol she’s taking for her sore bottom does not help with hurt feelings (-2)
Score: -13
Total: 33

AVIVA (46)
– Scenes keep changing from the women having a blast on St. Barths to Aviva and her angst-ridden airplane ride. Total buzzkill, and foreshadowing for what’s about to go down this ep (-3)
– Aviva has a “library of anti-anxiety songs” she’s cuing up for the plan ride. “The kind that make me want to dance are more of the emergency kind. This is more of a Chaka Khan moment than a Stevie Wonder moment.” Music is a good crutch, we’ll give her that (+2)
– After being at the house about 10 minutes, starts feuding with Ramona and Sonja. Aviva is offended that they didn’t want a dude present for their girls vacation, and thinks Reid should be placed upon a pedestal for getting her there (-2)
– Calls the two “ungracious,” “disgusting” and “white trash.” Clearly, she’s never seen Here Comes Honey Boo Boo (-3)
– Aviva complains to Carole, and demands they apologize or she’s staying elsewhere. “I’m not staying here under these conditions. … I don’t want (Reid) staying in a house where they are not rolling out the red carpet for him.” In fact, Aviva said she expected “a party” upon arrival. Since when are they required to throw parties when people overcome personal issues? And if they did, wouldn’t they already be exhausted from celebrating Sonja’s ability to sit down without using a donut pillow earlier that day? (-6)
– Later, when Sonja and Ramona try to make nice, Aviva refuses to let it go and enjoy the vacation. “I went to law school. I went to Vassar and I speak several languages. I hear and understand everything.” Understand this, then: We’re glad Reid is here so he can escort your wacky ass right back home (-3)
– Although Aviva agrees to go to dinner, she makes snide, passive-aggressive remarks. She brags to Carole and LuAnn, “See, when I get really pissed, I’m relentless.” Watch out, Aviva. Nothing bites quite as hard as a snapping turtle… and we haven’t seen Turtle Time happen yet on this trip. (-5)
Score: -24
Total: 22

RAMONA (49)
– Follows Tomas around the house, peppering him with questions and accusations about being there the previous night with LuAnn. With her crazy eyes in effect the whole time, it quickly borders on stalking (-4)
– He finally escapes and returns to the group, where he reports — only half jokingly — that Ramona is “the crazy one.” (-3) However, to her benefit, Ramona doesn’t turn out to be the conductor of the Crazy Train in this episode (+1)
– Rents a boat for the group, aboard which she poses for bikini pictures with Sonja and happily floats in the ocean (+3)
– Unfortunately, more first world problems arise for Ramona once she’s back on the yacht. To the crew: “You don’t have a canopy? Seriously? Seriously? Can’t you turn this boat around?” Instead, the two guys hold up towels to shield Ramona, Sonja and LuAnn from the sun (-7)
– Minutes after Aviva and Reid arrive, Aviva GOES OFF because Ramona and Sonja aren’t throwing themselves at Reid’s feet, thanking him for delivering their neurotic friend to the island. Aviva calls Ramona “ungracious,” “disgusting,” “mean” and “white trash” (-4)
– When Ramona can’t get Aviva to mellow out by screaming “CALMMMM DOWNNNNNNN!,” she tries to deflect some of the ire toward LuAnn, since LuAnn wasn’t really too keen on Reid staying in the house, either. Because yelling and starting additional fights is always a good way to quell an intense situation (-3)
– Eventually, Ramona apologizes to Aviva for not creating a shrine to Reid, but admits in confessional it was just to appease Aviva, not because she was really sorry. Whatever the reason, Ramona never apologizes, so good for her (+2)
Score: -15
Total: 34

CAROLE (60)
– Topless sunbathing, but didn’t make a big deal about it. Cool Carole, as usual (+2)
– Winds up refereeing the whole Aviva/Ramona/Sonja kerfuffle instead of going to see her boyfriend rehearse. The person who creates the least drama always ends up in the middle of it all (-5)
Total: -3
Total: 57

HEATHER (43)
– Walks in on Tomas putting his French roll in Sonja’s toaster oven, and is officially traumatized for life (-10)
– Forges a bond with Carole this trip, and is one of the few people that Carole talks to about her late husband (+2)
Score: -8
Total: 35

LUANN (42)
– The Countess is virtually silent the entire time Tomas is at their house. The only time she speaks, it’s to reiterate her story about her French Kiss-And-Don’t-Tell Italian friends, and to tell Ramona to back the eff up off her boy toy acquaintance (-3)
Score: -3
Total: 37

Whose side are you on: Aviva, or Sonja and Ramona?

Comments

  • irishtxn

    I’m not on any side! When the trouble started to brew, Sonja and Ramona should have called the leasing agent asked to get the house for however long! I kept switching stations because of all the “Nails across the Blackboard” screaming between the three of them! Ramona is the worse! She can’t keep her mouth shut long enough for any one to get their point across! Lord, how I long for the old cast! At least none of them had a fear of flying!

    • Fliesssssssssssssss

      Romana is the worst lol. All of this is a big pile of steaming poop and here we are, like flies buzzing around it. I do miss Bethany putting Kelly in her place though. Bwahahahhaha

  • Guest

    I’m with Sonja and Ramona on this one. While I don’t agree with everything they say/do or how they say/do it, I didn’t think they were out of line at all when Aviva and Reid arrived. Aviva’s princess-y attitude really irked me. She really expected everyone to roll out the red carpet for her disorders and phobias. Her expectations for people to over-celebrate her arrival and over-thank Reid (who seems to enable her disorders if not subtly bring them out) were incredibly self absorbed. Yuk.

    • Sigh

      I agree but among all of these filthy rich witches, she’s the least revolting. Except for her (vomit) sexual harassing father. She doesn’t let crazy-eyes peck everyone to death. I think Carole may be very similar to Aviva.. Aviva tries to instil some sense in the crowd while Carole bites her tongue for the sake of getting through the day and selling her book cashing in more checks. Lol. I wonder what kind of lives people live when they aren’t watching this trash. Surely not at St Barts enjoying a wealthy lifestyle at St. Barts etc…

  • http://twitter.com/Cyninbend Cynthia Gist

    Sonja and Ramona just try to have fun on vacations–that’s what they’re for, after all! I love watching them and living vicariously! Aviva turned into a psycho, and I got the vibe she had agreed to play this role when the producers hired her…? I also have news for her–as a law school grad and lawyer myself, and former roommate to a Vassar grad/lawyer, here’s some free advice: it’s not the way to convince anyone of your smarts or class–they will only think you are a conceited jerk and the “b” word. Thanks for making all of us look bad. It’s not like we needed any more help there… Also, my grandmother once introduced me to “Mrs. Vassar,” whose grandfather founded the school. She was a down-to-earth, sweet, little old lady who never ever would have called anyone “white trash.” She epitomized class. Try it some time?

    • Mahati

      Unlike Ramona & Sonja, Aviva is mostly cultured and didn’t expect the debauchery and spoiled-rotten irrationality of them. Nothing could prepare her for it. Not even Ramona’s constant, crass leg comments nor Sonja’s unethical expensive lifestyle despite pushing her personal debt on other people who didn’t deserve it. The stressful flight made things worse for Aviva. I agree with you though in regard to the phrase “white trash” which is actually a racist too. It shows she totally lost her cool and with it all of her deserved airs of superiority when compared to these two.

    • Mahati

      Unlike Ramona & Sonja, Aviva is mostly cultured and didn’t expect the debauchery and spoiled-rotten irrationality of them. Nothing could prepare her for it. Not even Ramona’s constant, crass leg comments nor Sonja’s unethical expensive lifestyle despite pushing her personal debt on other people who didn’t deserve it. The stressful flight made things worse for Aviva. I agree with you though in regard to the phrase “white trash” which is actually a racist too. It shows she totally lost her cool and with it all of her deserved airs of superiority when compared to these two.

  • Caacat

    Aviva needs to take her highly educated paranoid ass and go to hell asap. Bitch how about taking some therapy sessions to calm your ass down. Nobody owed you or your husband anything. Who the hell told you were special lied. You Willie divorced again soon unless you have more money than him.

    • Doodog

      Ramona is the one who bellowed. Aviva simply spoke clearly with passion. As a matter of fact, it was necessary for those twits Ramona and Sonja to finally pay attention.

  • Mikala18

    I do not understand the attraction to French Johnny Depp; maybe it’s a Housewives’ thing or maybe it’s a “you-have-to-see-him-in-person” thing? I agree the past two episodes have been the best of the season; Unfortunately, I start a new schedule at Dish, and will miss the new episode of “RHWONY.” I set my Hopper to record the upcoming shows, so I don’t miss a fun filled Pinot Grigio moment. Hopefully we will see Aviva out of her peach blazer ;-) .

    • TRUTH_LOVER

      I don’t understand the attraction either but I suspect it has to do with being around old wrinkly men all the time in uptight, uptown Manhattan and other expensive places where money tends to congregate rather than pretty, young men.

  • Nell21957

    I am not a Ramona fan and Sonja can be a bit much but Aviva is a sanctimonius ass. She thinks the world revolves around her, most likely cuz Reid makes it that way. It’s fine at home but the neverending”disappointment” over not having a proverbial banner, party whatever and to endlessly review this issue is ridiculous. Good for Sonja speaking for herself. Aviva thinks she is holier than thou and she is so off-putting. Good for Heather too to speak to Aviva and tell her to lay off.

  • oahah

    EEw they’re gross

  • M1ssmabell

    I truly hope Aviva finds peace of mind.