While we all hunker down to watch the Summer Olympics, it’s still Christmas time in Real Housewives of New York land.
In last night’s episode, Ramona Singer planned a fancy dinner for the other wives — minus Heather Thomson, of course — during which she shared a $1400 bottle of wine. As you may have guessed by the price, it was NOT Ramona pinot grigio. LuAnn de Lesseps hosted a holiday bash with a gossip mag, and Sonja Morgan continued to get her toaster oven business cooking.
As joyous as that all sounds, the episode wasn’t without its (staged?) controversial moments. Here were the top moments that may have kept Santa from visiting in 2011:
1. LuAnn is clueless. At Ramona’s dinner LuAnn keeps talking about her “American Indian” heritage. Carole Radziwill cringed, and urged her to use “Native American,” which she argued is the preferred term. “Anyone older than third grade knows not to say Indian,” Carole said. LuAnn responded. “Nobody says ‘darling’ anymore, but I do. And I can because I’m Indian.” However, it was her woo-woo-wooing and that she said “Be careful for your scalp, baby!” that put us over the edge. Money can’t buy you class… or brains, or tact.
2. Toaster oven controversy. Three words that should never go together, right? Heather Thomson was still helping Sonja Morgan with the branding and logo for her two businesses. Heather got pissed because Sonja brought her nemesis, Ramona Singer, to one of the meetings. While they all had some heated discussion about what image should be on the toaster oven box, and what shape the ‘j’ should be in Sonja’s name, we sort of just checked out for a few minutes. I have a toaster. I have an oven. I have a microwave. I will not be buying a Sonja Morgan toaster oven unless the box is filled with money.
3. Sonja’s drunken outburst. When the group sat down at the Christmas party, Sonja lashed out at LuAnn’s dude, Jacques, telling him if he liked it then he better put a ring on it. “If you’re not serious about her, get out now,” Sonja said. “GET OUT NOW! I” LuAnn and Jacques were at first offended, but then Sonja continued, “I don’t want her to end up devastated like I was.” Then she burst out crying. Guess the holiday blues affect even the biggest party girls, and because she was coming from a place of caring Lu and Jacques let it go.
4. Totally awesome Christmas party band. In an effort to be edgy, LuAnn hired musicians wearing spiked Mohawks to play background while she and the other Housewives sang ‘Jingle Bells.’ Side note: At least 50 percent of the Housewives didn’t know the words to Jingle Bells. Anyway, when the caterwauling was over, the band fired up their first song, the chorus to which was “I want to f*** you in the ass.”
That’s right, LuAnn hired a band that sang “I want to f*** you in the ass” to her Christmas party guests.” She was all, “No, no! Christmas songs!” We stopped laughing hysterically just in time to hear Carole admit in confessional that she liked the band and would likely hire them to play an upcoming event, reinforcing that she is our favorite NY Housewife, and perhaps our second favorite Housewife of all time (behind Bethenny Frankel).
Do you think Sonja’s uber-sexuality is just a cover-up for the fact that she wants to be married and monogamous?