Any time you tune into a Real Housewives show, there's no shortage of disturbing moments. But last night's Real Housewives of New York was packed with enough of them to give a girl nightmares. I mean, one of them wants to have a baby? Another one fears an anthrax attack? REALLY?
Here's a round-up of what you missed, aka the Top 10 Disturbing Moments from last night's show.
1. Carole Radziwill = Steven Tyler. Carole says she has a photograph of her and Steven Tyler together and they look like they were separated at birth. Seriously. Traumatizing. Particularly for a woman.
2. Everything-o-phobe: OK, so the first few episodes of this show tricked us into thinking Aviva Drescher was kind of mellow and low-key, but it turns out she's totally flippin' bonkers. For starters, she is afraid of heights, airplanes, subways and being without her husband. So much so, that she invited hubby Reid to an all-ladies drink outing because — you guessed it — she was terrified of being at a rooftop bar… without him.
She also told the ladies she has things like body gear, gas masks and Cipro (used to treat anthrax) at her house. Issues!
3. Name game. One thing Aviva isn't afraid of: Re-naming her children. Last night, we learned that she changed her son's name from Brandon to Hudson when he was four months old. She also wanted to change her daughter's name (Sienna) at one point, but her husband told her that would make her seem cray-cray. Uh, that ship has sailed.
4. “Holla!” Heather Thomson, please stop saying this! Unless you are a rapper circa 1995, you sound like a douche.
5. The ring didn't mean a thing… until now. Aviva told the other ladies that she didn't like her husband to wear a wedding ring because she was afraid that predator women were more likely to hit on a married man. When the others told her that was ridiculous, it (surprise!) made Aviva paranoid, so she dashed out to buy Reid a ring. Furthermore, she took Ramona Singer with her because she's a “jewelry expert.”
6. Double your pleasure. Sonja Morgan is starting two business at once — a party-planning service and a toaster over brand — so she consulted Heather and Ramona for business tips. We like Sonja, but she's waaaaay too flighty to handle this undertaking alone. Mine your successful friends for suggestions, certainly, but hire a PROFESSIONAL to oversee it all, Sonja. Immediately.
7. LuAnn's uterus, open for business! LuAnn de Lesseps, 47, told her daughter she was thinking of having a baby with her boyfriend, Jacques. Although her daughter seemed skeptical, she gave LuAnn her blessing. We're sure Ramona will do the same.
8. Give it up for Harry! Oh wait… At a party, LuAnn and Sonja discuss how they've both had sex with Aviva's ex-husband, Harry. This came after Sonja had already discussed it earlier in the show. At brunch. In front of Aviva. For, like, the third time in three episodes. Should they rename this show Real Sluts of New York?
9. Face yoga. At an event, Carole's friend show the ladies some face yoga, which allegedly keeps one looking youthful. Who knew it was that fishy face we all used to make as kids? Had I kept making it, I could still look 16 right now.
10. Get yer passports! Heather plans to travel to London for business, and so far, has invited Sonja, Carole and Aviva to join her. Housewives group trips usually come later in the season, but if you ask us, it's never too early for some overseas rabblerousing.
Should LuAnn have a baby? What do you think of her parenting skills?