You never get a second chance to make a first impression — unless you’re The Real Housewives of New York City, which debuted a brand spankin’ new intro and hugely revamped cast last night during its season five premiere.
The returning ladies (Ramona Singer, LuAnn DeLesseps and Sonja Morgan) were up to their old tricks, while the new cast members (Heather Thomson, Carole Radziwell and Aviva Drescher) were left reeling in the aftermath. But none of the newbies are dull, shrinking violets (think Cindy Barshop), so we expect that a sextet of mayhem will be up and running before we know it!
Here are our First Impression Awards from the season premiere:
LuAnn and Ramona. The feud between the Countess and Ramona — which kicked off last season when Ramona called LuAnn “a weekend mom” — raged on. LuAnn demanded an apology from Ramona. Ramona said she wouldn’t apologize just to spite LuAnn. While it wasn’t caught on camera, Ramona allegedly threatened LuAnn’s kids, saying that if LuAnn didn’t stop demanding an apology, she would tell everyone all the nasty things LuAnn’s children have done. Doesn’t a busy businesswoman have better things to do?
Best argument without yelling:
Ramona and Heather. Ramona loves to hear herself talk, and as it turns out, so does newbie Heather. The two spent every encounter battling for dominance and/or one-upping each other. (Heather: My baby was born with a liver disease! Ramona: Well, I thought Avery was dead when she was born! Ramona: You cut people off when they’re talking! Heather: I was just going to say the same thing about you!) They also spent tons of time insulting each other in confessional and it’s only a matter of time before the two have a blowout of epic proportions.
Sonja. Sure, she’s best friends with Ramona, but when Ramona and LuAnn started fighting at her party, she diplomatically told them to simmer down and take the high road. Also, Aviva was afraid to meet Sonja (who is best friends with Aviva’s ex-husband) because she thought it would be awkward. Sonja’s reaction: “I don’t stir the pot, I stir the drink.”
Most awkward conversationalist:
Heather. Surely, one is filled with raw emotion when they lose a parent. But Heather brought three cocktail conversations to a screeching halt when, out of nowhere, she talked about her dad’s recent death. She also discussed her child’s severe medical problems on several occasions. Everyone is allowed deep conversations, but Heather will learn soon enough that cocktail hour with the Real Housewives is for arguing and gossiping, not sharing your feelings. However, the fact that she says “Oh-Em-Gee!” in conversation might be the most annoying habit of all.
Aviva. Of course, this title could change as we get to know her, but she is poised to the be the moral compass of the new cast. Here’s why we like her: Her ex-husband has dated both Sonja (who he is now best friends with) and LuAnn,so there’s that awkwardness, which she handled like a champ. Aviva also has a prosthetic leg, so she’s faced real adversity, as opposed to the first world problems of the other ladies. The ladies all had varying, extreme responses to hearing about her leg. “I mean, it’s not like I’m telling them I have a penis or something,” she quipped.
Carole. We didn’t get to see that much of her, but here’s what we know: She’s a widow and her memoir about the experience made the New York Times best-seller list. She’s childless and doesn’t like it when mothers discuss their children because it’s “boring.” She could be nice, she could turn out to be a real bitch. We’re kind hoping for the latter. She’ll need some spunk to survive in this lion’s den.
Biggest (new) rabblerouser:
Heather. Heather is a firecracker, and seems like she’s used to getting what she wants. She’s not afraid to ruffle feathers or stand up for herself. She and Ramona have already laid the groundwork for an awesome rivalry, and we can’t wait to see it play out.
Let’s talk! Which new housewife is your favorite? Are you on team Ramona or team LuAnn? Sound off in the comments below.