After years of watching shows like The Real World and Jersey Shore, we are so glad we never tried out for that kind of reality show during our early 20s. Nobody needs their partying and jackassery permanently recorded for years to come, and when you’re 20-something you might not realize the disservice you’re doing your future yourself.
Which brings us to our point: The women on The Real Housewives of New York City should know better about how to behave on camera. They’re older. They’re seasoned in life. Some of them are parents. And while they generally don’t get plastered and throw up in alleys, they do spend a fair bit of time embarrassing themselves.
Last night was a particularly shameful night for the women. Please enjoy our Top 10 Embarrassing Moments from last night’s episode:
1. Butt face. In London, Sonja Morgan thought her face looked puffy, so she did what any normal person would do: Filled the bidet with ice water and dunked her face in. That’s what it’s for, after all: Face icing, lingerie washing and its intended purpose. Sonja gives whole new meaning to having s*** for brains, but man, we love her.
2. The Countess is counting. And as long as she’s one-up on everyone, LuAnn de Lesseps is winning. Carole Radziwill’s mom had five kids, but LuAnn’s mother had seven. Heather Thomson’s husband has a twin. Well, so does LuAnn’s brother. Carole wrote a book; so did LuAnn. Heather was a gymnast. LuAnn, too — and she also played volleyball. Most of the ladies on this this show are jackasses… hey, so is LuAnn!
3. The one-upper 2.0. Up to this point in the season, Carole has remained cool as a cucumber, but the Countess’ one-upping finally got to her. So, she started doing it back to LuAnn, in totally exaggerated versions. (After LuAnn said she’d done gymnastics AND played volleyball, Carole was all, me too! I also played basketball and football, too!) It was actually hilarious, but we were sad to see LuAnn break through Carole’s tough exterior.
4. Pass the pinot. As Ramona Singer helped Aviva Drescher with her anniversary party, she said, “To me, the best part of any party is cocktail hour.” Really? Ramona drinks? We had no idea!
5. Sonja’s entertainment choice. We knew Sonja had royally screwed up the entertainment at Aviva’s party when we found ourselves hoping LuAnn would take over the singing. Where the hell did Sonja find that lady anyway?
6. Aviva’s poem. I love that Aviva loves her husband and wanted to celebrate their anniversary with a classy soiree. But she should have saved that terrible, rhyming poem for home. Since she didn’t, though, go ahead and laugh at her expense a little. We sure did.
“There’s no one more gorgeouser or charming than Reid.
When I first saw his hotness, I felt a strong need
I was up on cloud nine when we first started dating
Little did I know we’d be married and mating.
You sired two more nuggets, our girl and our boy
And tonight it’s five years we’ve reveled in this joy.”
I’ve never read anything awesomer, have you?
7. Aviva bites it. Of course, the woman with the fake leg had to fall down the stairs at her own party. She played it off and made some wisecrack, but we felt bad for her, especially because everyone was watching her at the time.
8. Ramona’s outbursts. Heather calmly tried to talk to Ramona about their mutual dislike for one another, and in typical fashion, Ramona went off on her then walked away. Heather followed her around to try and civilly finish the conversation. Each time, Ramona attacked, then retreated. Sonja also followed the two around to enjoy the fireworks. “I’ve seen this show before and it gets better and better every time,” Sonja said. Did we mention this seemed to go down during cocktail hour?
9. Sonja the doormat. Speaking of Ramona’s ambush verbal attacks, one of the ladies asked Sonja about her and Ramona’s skirmish at Sonja’s shindig a few weeks back. Sonja just blew it off. She said, “If I didn’t accept that type of behavior from Ramona, we wouldn’t be friends.” Geez, Sonja, are you that hard up for chums?
10. Ramona turns to LuAnn. After her dust-ups with Heather, Ramona beelined over to LuAnn, gave her a hug, and told her she’d rather fight with her any day because at least she wasn’t fake. I guess weekend parenting is slightly higher on the totem pole of social faux pas than being phony.