Holy smokes! If you were waiting for Independence Day to see some fireworks, you can whet your whistle with a repeat of last night’s The Real Housewives of Orange County.
In part two of the season finale, Heather Dubrow’s naming party continued, and although she has the perfect setting to enjoy traditional fireworks, all the pyrotechnics came courtesy of the housewives.
Sure, Gretchen Rossi and Tamra Barney cemented their friendship with another bracelet gift (this time, Tamra was on the receiving end). But other than that, it was the night of a million arguments packed into one explosive hour.
Get out your Kevlar, people… it’s showtime!
Heather v. Sarah 2.0
Heather went inside her house to reapply lipstick when drunky drunk Sarah came in to rehash their kerfuffle over the cake. Heather got pissed — “I am not going to let this one cuckoo girl ruin my party” — and called in Gretchen, Tamra and Alexis Bellino to help kick Sarah out. Soon, a crowd of Housewives, their significant others, a few bystanders and security were all in the kitchen as Heather loudly declared, “It is time for the Sarah chapter to close. It is time for you to go.”
Wouldn’t it have been faster to just have security escort her out? What on Earth are you paying them for if you’re asking Jesus Barbie to get rid of your guests?
Jim v. Terry et al
At one point, a previously absent Jim Bellino surprised his wife by dropping in on Heather’s soiree. Nobody was more surprised than Terry Dubrow, though, whom Jim confronted about insulting his wife earlier in the season. Terry admitted to Jim he called Alexis “phony,” but Heather and Tamra walked over to their table, and Jim was all “I’m not doing this!” and rolled out without even telling Alexis. He told someone on his way out he was ambushed.
Tamra v. Brooks
After that awkwardness, the remaining wives and their dudes sat down for drinks. Various toasts were made, and then Vicki offered a toast to her fallen homie, Alexis, who wound up chasing down Jim in the driveway and going home with him. Tamra rolled her eyes a little bit, as Tamra does about 40 times per hour, and Vicki’s boyfriend Brooks called her out on it: “Do you really want to go there?” he said. Then he told Vicki that Tamra was giving him “the evil eye.” (We rewound this four times to watch it, and it didn’t look any different than any of the random sneers Tamra makes on a regular basis.)
Tamra sprung up and started yelling and pointing at Brooks for trying to instigate a fight between her and Vicki. “I didn’t give her the evil eye! What is your f***ing problem?!”
Vicki v. Tamra
Vicki’s not gonna let anyone go off on her man. I mean, he just bought her a mink coat, after all. Vicki screamed at Tamra for yelling at Brooks. Tamra told Vicki to stop letting Brooks control her thoughts. Vicki nearly jumped across the table, shrieking, “HE DOESN’T TELL ME WHAT TO THINK, EVER!,” then she and Brooks got up to leave.
Tamra followed Vicki, who was inexplicably barefoot, into the foyer. Tamra tried to deny the whole evil eye thing, but Vicki cut her off and told Tamra her behavior was disgusting. Vicki opened her mouth and lungs as wide as they would possibly go and let loose: “YOU DON’T TALK TO ME OR HIM THAT WAY, EVER!!!! I LOVE HIM! I WOULD NEVER SPEAK THAT WAY TO EDDIE!!!”
In confessional, Vicki declared their friendship over with a capital O.
Vicki v. Briana
Vicki and Brooks stormed outside to go home, but not before Vicki recruited her new son-in-law to go back inside and get Briana. (Vicki was afraid Tamra would be poisoning Briana with bad ideas about Brooks.) When Briana finally emerged and tried to smooth over the longtime friendship between Vicki and Tamra, Vicki got angry that nobody was accepting her dude (even with his sparkly new teeth!). She basically told her daughter that Brooks isn’t going anywhere, and that if people (including Briana) can’t accept that, she was willing to kick them to the curb. Ouch.
Briana was upset that her mom was so willing to let go of friends and family for this “opportunist.” Meanwhile, Vicki blew a gasket any time anyone expressed any concern over her new relationship.
Vicki went back inside to see Heather’s big cake reveal, and afterward, made a big show of telling everyone how happy she was. All of the sudden, we had deja vu. Does anyone else feel like Vicki/Brooks seems an awful lot like the Kim Richards/ugly bulldog boyfriend situation from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills?
Can Vicki and Tamra ever recover from this? Does Alexis even belong on this show anymore? Are you already salivating to see the reunion show?