Seems like just yesterday we were joining The Real Housewives of Orange County for their seventh season premiere, and meeting newbie Heather Dubrow for the first time.
But last night, during the first part of the season finale, Heather threw a party at her sprawling ocean side mansion and got into an argument that made it feel like she’d been around for ages. And just like that, she became a true OC Housewife.
In other news, Tamra told the others about her engagement, Vicki Gunvalson got a present from Brooks, Gretchen pulled out that ugly coat again and Alexis Bellino was still licking her wounds over her Costa Rica intervention, so she leaned on annoying, alcoholic friend, Sarah for support.
Please enjoy our 10 Questions With the Real Housewives recap — with frosting and sprinkles!
1. Were we the only ones surprised to hear that Tamra Barney called Heather from Bora Bora to tell her about her engagement? Didn’t she just meet this woman, like, five minutes ago? We’re stunned she didn’t call her new bestie,Gretchen Rossi, or her old one, Vicki Gunvalson. Better yet, what about her real friends — the ones she hangs out with when she’s not filming this show?
2. Are Heather and Gretchen serious, offering to throw Tamra a bachelorette party and bridal shower for Tamra? Do you still get those if you’re 40-something and getting hitched for the third time?
3. Who does Tamra think she is? She said she left her engagement ring at home the night of Heather’s party because she didn’t want to steal all of the attention away from Heather… but seriously, have you seen Heather’s house? No little engagement is gonna steal the thunder of seeing that place for the first time.
4. Can Vicki tell one more person that Brooks and his new teeth bought her a mink coat? Oh! Yes, she can. She can tell every, single person at the party. She also wore her knee-length furball all night long. Sorry, but it couldn’t have been that cold, could it?
5. Speaking of coats, could Gretchen’s floor-length one be any uglier? It looks like a bathrobe trimmed with bunny tails.
6. Who is this new, catty Heather that’s been hiding most of the season? I swear she just said Sarah looked like a stripper…
7. Am I seeing things, or did two previously-feuding housewives just MAKE UP at a party filled with people? This could be a first for the franchise! Tamra, apologized to former friend and OC Housewife, Jeana, for drenching her in red wine the last time they saw each other.
8. What kind of cretin walks up to a beautiful cake at a party, breaks a piece off and eats it? Alexis’ tacky friend, Sarah. In Housewives-land, this means WAR.
9. And while Sarah’s cake plucking was completely inappropriate, did Heather and the other women totally overreact, or what? Between her facial expressions and the enunciation of “that girl, Sarah, broke the BOW off my CAKE and ATE IT,” Heather transformed into an angry Valley Girl, while all the Housewives (except Alexis) rallied around her and yelled at Sarah.
Horrified, we were picturing the whole huge bow topper being gone. But when cameras showed it, there was a tiny triangle piece from missing from the edge of the bow’s ribbon. We never even would have noticed, had it not been for the huge brouhaha.
If there were ever a first world problem, this was it.
10. Are you as excited as us to see the huge blowout between Vicki and Tamra next week? Looks like the tension that’s been building between the former best friends will finally come to a head. Will Vicki wind up with wine on her new mink? Oh, you hadn’t heard? Brooks bought her a new fur coat!
Do you think Heather overreacted to the cake incident, or was she justified? Do you think the other ‘wives should have butted out?