Sunday’s Real Housewives of New Jersey began like any other episode — Teresa Giudice’s daughters were decked out in gold lame leopard print and pink tutus; dieting Lauren Manzo salivated while everyone ate pizza; Ashlee Holmes gave her parents hell, only this time it was at her father’s house instead of at Jacqueline Laurita’s.
But then 10:30 p.m. rolled around, and Teresa went over to Jacqueline’s house, and the besties wound up having a blowout so big, it took up the entire second half of the episode. It had to have been be the one that splintered their relationship for good, and the reason that Jacqueline didn’t attend last season’s reunion special. (This season was already filming when the reunion took place.)
To make matters worse, Caroline Manzo showed up in the middle of their screaming match and added in her two cents… and we all know Caroline was already pissed at Teresa, and is no shrinking violet.
Here, we go over a blow-by-blow of the fight, and score each wife accordingly:
– Invited Teresa over to discuss the latest tabloid story, which said Teresa could possibly go to jail for hiding money as the Giudices filed for bankruptcy. Jacqueline was worried that her friend was “suffering in silence,” since Jacqueline found this out from a magazine instead of her friend. (Since when has Teresa ever done anything silently, though?) (+3)
– Jax, in her wishy-washy way, asked if the stories were true, or if it was just another story that Teresa accepted money for to pay her bills. Inquiring minds want to know! (+2)
– In confessional, Jacqueline is much more confident, stating, “She thinks I’m stupid. She told me she gets paid for the cover (stories). I can’t be friends with someone who isn’t real with me.” True dat (+5)
– Jax is hurt because the night before, Teresa was tweeting with Jacqueline’s mortal enemy/former NJ Housewife, Danielle Staub. Because Teresa is always barking about how loyalty is so important in friendship, Jacqueline calls her on it (+1)
– When Teresa tries to deflect the issue by bringing up Melissa Gorga, Jacqueline deftly takes on that issue. She says Teresa is clearly not ready to move on because she’s still carrying a grudge about something Melissa did two years ago (+2)
– Jacqueline eventually gets worked up enough to start waving her hands all around. Man, it’s nice to see the most mild-mannered of the ‘wives get pissed. It’s about time (+2)
– Caroline shows up and has her own issues with Teresa. When those two start going at it, Jacqueline stands up to reclaim the floor. “Will you both shut the f*** up and let me finish? F***!” Whoa. (+5)
– Jacqueline says she’s hurt because Teresa never asks her how she’s doing. She feels their friendship is one sided. Finally! Jacqueline puts everything out on the table instead of bottling it up inside. That only took two or three seasons… (+2)
– In the end, Jax says to Tre, “For my health, I am doing to distance myself from you and your family.” (+2)
– Jacqueline asks her about her bankruptcy issues, and whether she might be going to jail. Teresa says she’s not in danger of going to jail, and if Jax — whom she calls her best friend — wants to know anything else, she can call Teresa’s lawyer (-2)
– Teresa denies getting paid for doing articles … even though she recently told the women she had a contract with one magazine to supply them with a certain amount of cover stories in exchange for cash (-5)
– Then in confessional, Teresa goes, “I don’t get paid, I do get paid? It’s none of your business.” That sounds like a Guilty As Charged admission to me! Thing is, nobody would bring it up if she hadn’t told them in the first place, so she did herself a disservice (-3)
– Tre is upset that Jacqueline even asked, and doesn’t know where she’s coming from. She calls her “Heckyll and Jyde.” Teresa’s language butchering knows no bounds, and we love it (-10)
– When Jax asks her about tweeting with Danielle Staub, she says, “Danielle tweeted me first!” Man, I love a good playground defense, don’t you? (-2)
– Truth is, Teresa tweeted with Danielle because it meant she could prove something that Melissa did two years prior — so in an attempt to deflect any wrongdoing, she swiftly changes the subject to Melissa-bashing (-3)
– Teresa gets angry when Jacqueline suggests she’s holding a grudge against Melissa and starts GOING OFF. It’s the classic Teresa temper we’ve come to know and love/hate since season one. All tables remain on four legs, however (+3)
– Caroline shows up and is angry about a different magazine article, in which Teresa trashed her, and is also still mad about the cookbook comments (-2)
– Teresa says she didn’t say anything to the magazine, that they made it up; and that she already apologized for the cookbook, so what more did Caroline want? (+2)
– In confessional, she says Caroline turned on her own sister, so she isn’t surprised she’s losing her as a friend (-2)
– Teresa’s allies on RHONJ now = 0. Still, she claims no responsibility in the matter. “I feel like I’m getting a friendship divorce. It will never be the same. I know to keep my guard up because there are evil people out there and they come in the shape of your friends.”
– Comes over to return something Jax left at her house, and walks into a big fight between Jacqueline and Teresa. Good thing she’s got a coffee in her hand (+3)
– Caroline, who has been mad for a while but didn’t want to start an argument at her brother’s wedding, uses the opportunity to confront Teresa about a recent magazine story (+1)
– Unfortunately, Caroline is so bold, she mows right over Jacqueline (-3)
– Although it’s been clear to us all season that Caroline is done with Teresa, she makes it final on this night. She doesn’t say goodbye when Teresa leaves, she simply says, “Nice bag.” Clearly, it was a dig aimed at her recent bankruptcy. (-2)
Bottom line: Teresa dug herself deeper into her friendless hole, and Caroline finally found an outlet for all her menopausal moodiness. But Jacqueline easily came out on top here — at least as far as the argument went. The meekest housewife and resident peacemaker usually lays low, but even the kindest soul can only last so long in this Lord of the Flies atmosphere. While she wavered a bit in her delivery, she managed to address all of her concerns. We have a feeling her spirit won’t fare as well as her arguing did, however.
What did you think of the fight? Were you happy Jacqueline finally stood up for herself? Do you think Teresa is really as bad as everyone says?