RHONJ: The RV Expedition, Part One

Boob-grabbing and penis flashing. Please accept our regards, California.

RHONJ: The RV Expedition, Part One

We thought it was a fish-out-of-water scene last season when The Real Housewives of New Jersey went on a mountain vacation in the Catskills. Turns out, that was nothing compared to the California RV trip they embarked upon during last night’s episode.

After nearly 24 hours of travel — Hurricane Irene had prevented them from making their original, more direct travel arrangements — they whole gang arrived in California with their leopard print and (personal) baggage in tow. First stop: Camping World, where they rented RVs and spent some $4500 on supplies for the three-day excursion. So in other words, it wasn’t really like real camping at all. It was essentially just that they shared a small, luxurious space with other cast members.

Still, that was enough to be entertaining, for sure. The most amazing thing was that everyone kept the peace. But we did have a few questions along the way…

1. How many different ways is Caroline going to whoop Albie’s ass when she finds out he invited his girlfriend, Lindsay, to move in with him? The menopausal mama bear is not gonna be happy. Something tells me Albie might be moving his sleeping bag over to the Wakile’s RV.

2. Were Melissa Gorga and I separated at birth? Because when she said to her husband, “I don’t know what to bring for camping,” she was totally inside my head. If  you have $4500 to spend on supplies, why not just get a hotel room at the beach and call it a day?

3. When is Teresa Giudice going to get her own spinoff? Because I could listen to her say stupid stuff all day, every day. Last night, when someone made fun of the fringed stilettos she wore for camping, she’s all “At least they’re Aztec-y looking. We are going to a Native American place, right? We’re out west.”

4. Be honest: Who else went to You Tube and looked up a video of cows humping after watching the gang laugh hysterically at that scene on someone’s iPhone? Oh, you didn’t? Er, nevermind.

5. Who was Teresa kidding when she bought that Scrabble game for the trip? For someone who hates to be on the losing end of anything, she was just setting herself up for disappointment. Her + words = Ingredientses for disaster.

6. Have Teresa and Joe Giudice no shame? A) I didn’t need to know she was taking a crap in the RV; and B) Joe certainly didn’t need to tell everyone else via walkie talkies, either.

7. Was anyone else surprised that they were essentially camping in a parking lot? I wasn’t as optimistic as Teresa, who “was picturing we were going to be on an island,” but I expected them to be in a campground of some sort. That part was kind of lame.

8. Were there enough Househusband penises in this episode for you? Between Joe Gorga flashing his “Tarzan” to Chris Laurita, and Richie Wakile’s morning boner in his boxer shorts, we’re pretty sure we’ll be traumatized for at least a week or so. Uh, make that two weeks, just to be safe.

9. How on earth did the beach discussion between Teresa and Melissa not turn into a raging fight? Melissa basically said, in a nice way, if you’re always at the center of all the arguments, Teresa, maybe YOU’RE the one with the problem. Teresa did not fly off the handle about it. Then again, Teresa always has to be right, so maybe she was trying to make Melissa look dumb by saying that. Or maybe she’s storing it up for her next tirade.

10. Did you ever think you’d see Teresa and Melissa snuggled up in bed, grabbing each other’s boobs? Can you imagine seeing that on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills?


Last questions: Who do you think will get in the first fight? You know the peace can only last for so long, right?


  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_GT2P6GBVDBGO6WFZNLZWWZAM24 Agent Change

    Teresa is an idiot. She’s storing Melissa’s comment. First she’ll talk to Juicy Gorilla about it and he’ll confirm that she has the right to be indignant. Then she’ll mention it to her new friend (can’t remember her name) – the woman who “agrees with her on everything” according to Jacqueline. Then, she’ll sit down with Melissa and say, “you know, something has been bothering me…” and then it will come up a few more times and finally she’ll explode in that squeaky voice at the reunion show. I think Teresa needs to go back to being an unknown. She bashed Bethenny, but aren’t “Skinny Italian” and her Fabulini knock-offs on Bethenny’s Skinny Girl empire? One uses Skinny (duh) and the other is a drink that only a moron would buy.