Here Comes Honey Boo Boo!

Here comes Honey Boo Boo Child! No really, here she comes. And we’re ready. Here Comes Honey Boo Boo premieres tomorrow on TLC and in case you haven’t been following any of this and you’re wondering what in the hell is a honey boo boo, there are a couple must-see YouTube videos waiting for you.

Honey Boo Boo is actually Alana Thompson and she shot to moderate reality TV fame when she appeared on Toddlers & Tiaras and started spouting off catchphrases like “A dollar makes me holler,” “honey boo boo child” and my personal favorite “I need to win the moooooooooney to do my pageants wiiiiiiiiiith.” TLC recognized the trainwreck potential and decided to do their first T&T spinoff and Here Comes Honey Boo Boo was born.

The show follows Honey Boo Boo and her southern family around during their daily lives. And that includes some belly shakes and apparently even some roadkill for dinner.

It all sounds like a huge disaster and we can’t wait for it. Sure a lot of people are going to stay as far away from this as they can, but I’m going to be front row and center. I mean, why not? There are worse things on television. I’d rather watch a hilarious 6-year-old girl than a bunch of bitchy rich women you can find on every network except TLC. And come on, how fun is it going to be making fun of her mom “scratching her bugs” (see the trailer below for an explanation)?

And I may or may not have downloanded a Honey Boo Boo ringtone. Yes, they’re available. But no, I didn’t get one. Or did I? No. Definitely not.