All Stars Episode 3: Queens Behaving Badly

In the great tradition of hidden camera shows like Candid Camera and Girls Behaving Badly, this week’s episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars put the queens on the streets of Hollywood to convince innocent bystanders to act a fool.

The RuCap

This week’s episode opens on the queens returning to the workroom the day after Tammie Brown and Nina Flowers were cut. Everyone (including me) is mourning the loss of such hilarity and insanity. Tammie Brown’s fantastic lunacy will definitely be missed.

Ru comes in to deliver the mini-challenge. This week they’re going to save the drag for later and serve their best “Butch Male Realness.” So the pair that takes the best self-photos looking the most masculine wins the mini-challenge. Yara and Alexis (Team Yarlexis) win the challenge. Even though I thought Shannel and Chad (Team Shad) pulled off the butch look way better than I thought possible.

For the main challenge, Ru tells the girls that they have to head out to Hollywood Boulevard in full drag and convince innocent bystanders to join them in some outrageous stunts. And the more outrageous the stunt, the more points they earn. While one queen is on the street soliciting bystanders, the other will be in the studio barking the orders through an earpiece. And then they will trade places.

I’ve walked those Hollywood streets and I know how hard it is to get someone to say hello, much less spray whipped cream down their pants. But they make it happen. Yes, Jujubee actually convinces a guy to let her spray whipped cream down his pants. My other two favorite moments were when Yara convinced a guy to walk her like a dog and when Shannel talked a guy into letting her drink water (like a dog) from his hands. Hilarious.

Up next is the runway and the theme this week is bad girl chic.

The Runway Rundown

• Ru — Glamazon
• Rujubee — S&M Goddesses
• Shad — Fierce bitches
• Yarlexis — Mad Max realness
• Latrila — Divine and Morticia

The RuSults

• The Winning Team: Shad
• Safe: Yarlexis
• Bottom Two Teams: Rujubee and Latrila
• Lip Syncing: Jujubee and Manila to Janet Jackson’s “Nasty.”
• Told to sashay away: Latrila

Final Thoughts: I’m happy to see Shad finally get the respect they deserve. Now on to the bad stuff. I think Latrice is to blame for such a strong team going home. Her comment to Yara and Alexis about not being able to understand what they’re saying was WAY below the belt and I know people are going to argue and blame the way that comment was received on editing, but whatever. I call it as I see it.

I think Manila was as robbed as Pandora Boxx was in week one.Which leads me to my next thought. This competing as teams business was a HORRIBLE idea. Why couldn’t they have just ordered more episodes and let the All-Stars compete individually? It’s really affecting the whole feel of the season. It’s just very unfortunate.

What did you say, girl? (Best Quotes)

“If I were Alexis I would suck her dick because she’s the only reason they’re here this week.” — Jujubee, referring to Yara being the saving grace of their team.

“You looked like Tran Drescher.” — Raven, referring to Jujubee’s Fran Drescher impersonation.

“Chad Michaels looks like Burt Reynolds and Cher had a baby.”  — Jujubee

“It’s time to pump some ass.” — Yara (hahahahha. No idea what this means, but it’s hilarious)

“What was the hardest part of this challenge?” — Ru to Jujubee. “The man’s penis when I sprayed it down his pants.” — Jujubee referring to her putting whipped cream in the guys pants.