Drag U Episode 3: Cupcake Queens

Three pastry chefs are pulled from their kitchens for makeovers

Drag U Episode 3: Cupcake Queens

This week on RuPaul's Drag U, we were treated to some pretty sweet cupcake chef makeovers.

The three ladies taking the makeover seats this week were three tired, overworked and clearly undersexed cupcake queens. Let's meet them:

  • Lovely, 27: She might already have a drag name, but she doesn't have the look or self-esteem.
  • Marilyn, 50-ish: That's right girl, don't let anyone know your real age. Ain't nobody's biz. Marilyn is recently separated and the wounds haven't healed.
  • Sarah, 26: This pastry chef is married but she doesn't know how to sweeten up the bedroom like she does her kitchen.

So it's time for these three women to head to class. Who's going to teach them? This week it's Alexis Mateo, Latrice Royale and Mariah. Lovely is paired with Mariah, Marilyn gets Latrice and Sarah is assigned to Alexis.

The drag professors and their new pupils go over photos of each person's everyday looks and it's very clear why they're seeking help at Drag U. The worst of the three has to be Sarah's Freddy Krueger look. Horrifying.

Next the three divas and three divas in waiting, head off to do the Quick Drag challenge. I'm still not sure what the purpose of this little new bit this season is. It seems kind of pointless and boring, but that's OK. The three chefs throw on some wigs and sequins and that's about it.

Now it's time for the fun part. The Dragulator. Ru enters each person's info into the Dragulator computer  to find out what each contestant's new drag name and look will be.

Lovely becomes Sugar Sensation. Her look was French Made meets Blueberry Muffin from Strawberry Shortcake meets Jiggly Caliente from last season's Drag Race.

Marilyn will transform into Bitsy Sprinkles. She's going to look red hot in her cupcake couture.

Sarah will say goodbye to frumpy chef and hello to Candy Glaze. Sarah's Dragulator look had to be my favorite. Probably because she didn't look like a walking dessert.

The three women then head off to this week's Lady Lesson with Lady Bunny, even though there's always someone else guest-starring to give the lesson. This week the lesson is all about adding in fake hair to give hat/hairnet hair a boost after a long day in the cupcake kitchen.

At dance class with Candis Cayne, we learn the song they'll be dancing to this week is “Milkshake” by Kelis. And that's kind of hilarious. Per usual, the dance is a super easy routine and no one can do it. But the particularly problem pupil this week is Marilyn/Bitsy Sprinkles.

And since this show follows the EXACT same routine EVERY week, it's time for the meeting with RuPaul, better known as the mid-point tear fest. And as usual, we see the contestants sob as Ru gives them each a pep talk. Thank goodness it's almost time to Draguate.

Drag U Candy Glaze

Draguation Report Card (graded by me)

Sugar Sensation – Look: B+ Oral Presentation: B- Performance: B- Average: B

Bitsy Sprinkles – Look: A Oral Presentation: A Performance: C Average: B+

Candy Glaze – Look: A+ Oral Presentation: A Performance: B Average: A-

So according to my grades, Candy Glaze (and Alexis) would graduate with top  honors. And Ru and the guest judges, including The Office's Angela Kinsey, agreed. Candy Glaze wins this week's prize package.

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