It’s pretty common knowledge that male geeks have problems getting laid, but I’ve never given much thought to female geeks and their bedroom woes. Apparently they have it rough, too. That’s why this week’s RuPaul’s Drag U theme is turning lovable geeks into sexy freaks. Literally.
Let’s meet this week’s three lucky queens in waiting.
- Kristy, 29. Kristy is a theater geek who dreams of landing on Broadway some day. But she needs to work on her confidence and ability to accessorize.
- Dylan, 22. A zombie movie nerd, she lost a lot of herself when she became estranged from her mother. They haven’t spoken in two years.
- Shante, 36. A rare female comic book nerd, Shante no longer feels sexy.
To save the day this week are three favorite Drag Race queens: Pandora Boxx, JuJubee and Delta Work. OK, two favorite Drag Race queens… Why anyone would invite Delta on an inspirational show to help out someone in need is beyond me. Unless it’s edited out, she seems to never have any sort of empathy, emotion or much tact for that matter. But OK. Whatevs.
Kristy is paired with Pandora, Dylan is placed in Delta’s hands and JuJubee gets to work with Shante.
Next the six divas head off to do the pointless quick drag challenge. This is the part where they pick out some random costumes and wigs and throw them on with no makeup. Nothing really happens with it except maybe the filling of time. They just always look kind of ridiculous.
Around this time in the show is when I start really missing Drag Race. It’s fun to see the Drag Race queens, but this show is just missing something. It has the feel of a fundraiser or something. You know, how a fundraiser kind of sucks, but it’s there to raise money for something awesome. That’s how I feel about Drag U. It’s there to fill the void when Drag Race is off the air and to promote its next season. Don’t get me wrong, I love Drag Race a lot. I just have a hard time finding a reason for Drag U. I still think they should be making over young, tragic (male) drag queens.
OK, enough deep thoughts. Back to business. Over at the Dragulator, Ru enters the three women’s info into the machine and it spits out their new identities. Kristy will become Felicty Payne. Dylan’s drag persona is Ember Alert (that’s so wrong on so many levels). Shante (who already has a drag name) will become Dolores Day.
I’m not sure if I’m just in a horrible mood this week or if this week or what because I’ve got more criticism. I wasn’t a fan of any of their drag names or drag looks.
The divas get their new looks, learn their new dance and are ready for Draguation.
Draguation Report Card (graded by me)
Felicity Payne — Look: B- Oral Exam: A Performance: B Average: B+
Ember Alert — Look: B- Oral Exam: A+ Performance: A Average: A
Dolores Day — Look: C+ Oral Exam: A Performance: A+ Average: B+
That means Ember Alert wins as far as my grades are concerned. The Drag U faculty agrees. Amber wins this week. And she was able to be reunited with her mother. Ru surprised her by putting her mother in the audience. Ru is like Oprah, only cooler.