Monday night’s RuPaul’s Drag Race was the episode everyone’s been waiting for – Snatch Game. It’s the highly-anticipated now-annual episode based on the old TV game show Match Game, where the queens give us their best celeb impersonations. We all had such high hopes this season. But the Snatch Game ratings are in and it’s been canceled. OK, it hasn’t been canceled. Just a little 1970s gameshow humor there.
Aside from Chad Michaels, Sharon Needles and Willam, the panel was one big hot mess. Let me just break it down for you.
Chad Michaels as Cher. Chad is known for his version of Cher. So that was an obvious choice for her Snatch Game character. And you could instantly see that she has mastered her craft. She was hilarious. And my favorite parts were the wig changes. Amazing.
Sharon Needles as Michelle Visage. First of all, let me answer a question half of Logo’s viewers are asking: No, Michelle Visage was not formally a man. As for Sharon’s impersonation, it was risky, but spot on and f-ing hilarious. Her comedic timing is impeccable.The best part were the old stories she made up about her and RuPaul.
Willam. I thought doing Jessica Simpson was probably a bad idea, but I was wrong. Willam really nailed the deer-in-headlights cluelessness that is Jessica Simpson.
Latrice Royale as Aretha Franklin. All I saw up on the panel was Latrice. Shouldn’t she have pulled out Aretha’s now-notorious hat? And her go-to gag was to eat. Because big girls eat, I guess? Weak.
Dida Ritz as Wendy Williams. She didn’t look like her and she didn’t act like her. Wendy doesn’t exactly lend herself to impersonation though. Dida just didn’t make a great choice. But she doesn’t have to worry, because her mediocre performance was nothing compared to the trainwrecks below.
Phi Phi O’Hara. Ugh. Lady Gaga. How original. First of all, Gaga doesn’t really have a big personality. She puts all of her stock into her costume. So a drag queen dressing as Gaga is great. But impersonating her is not a good idea. And according to Phi Phi, Gaga is epileptic. All she did was sit their having one long seizure. And despite her being paid to go “all over the country” as Gaga, she didn’t look anything like her either. Busted hunty. Busted.
Jiggly as Snooki. Jiggly was smart enough to pick someone as crass and annoying as her, but that’s about as far as she got with it. Oh look, I have a poof, I’m Snooki!
Milan as Diana Ross. Apparently Diana Ross is a complete bat-shit crazy person with scary wonky eyes. WTF was Milan thinking? Sweet Love Hangover indeed.
Kenya as Beyonce. OK, this has to be the single worse anything ever on any competition show ever. Since when is Beyonce a crazy narcoleptic drug addict? Hahahahahha. I’m still laughing at this. It might have been the funniest thing from the whole episode. Of course it wasn’t the right kind of funny, but hey, a laugh is a laugh.
The Runway Show
Jiggly: Kindergarten prom realness
Chad: Cher-giraffe hybrid realness
Milan: Sammy Davis Jr. realness
Willam: Dominatrix realness
Phi Phi: Batgirl realness
Dida: Toy hoarder realness
Kenya: American Gladiator realness
Sharon: Back alley plastic surgery realness
Latrice: Big and Blue
Oh, and since I think it’ll be fun to keep track (or play a drinking game), I’m going to showcase the TV show or name that Willam drops every week. This week it’s “Boston Public.” That’s “Boston Public.” Say it with me: “Boston Public.”
The judges decided that Milan and Kenya sucked the most this week. Ru informed Kenya that “impersonating Beyonce is not your destiny, child.” So those two must lipsync for their lives to Madonna’s “Vogue.”
And for the second week in a row, Milan tore it up like newspaper. Watching her was like watching “Paris is Burning.” Her performance was like a Ball scene mixture of voguing and executive realness. Sickening indeed. The outcome is clear: Milan stays, Kenya sashays away.