This week's RuPaul's Drag Race went to the dogs – literally.
The final four queens were given a three part challenge, all about dogs, called the Bitch Ball. In the end only three queens were left standing and one of them will be crowned the Next Drag Superstar. Before we get to that, let's start with the mini challenge.
This week the queens had to blindly choose a puppet based on one of their competitors boy counterparts then put it in drag. Sharon Needles picked Chad Michaels. Chad picked Phi Phi O'Hara. Latrice Royale picked Sharon. Phi Phi chose Latrice.
To no one's surprise Chad and Sharon had the best puppets. Sharon playfully cut on Chad's silicon work while Chad let Phi Phi have it all the way down to her snuggle tooth. And Chad wins the mini challenge.
For the main challenge, Ru tells fills the queens in on the Bitch Ball. They'll have to come up with three looks: Daytime Dog Park Realness, Pooch in a Purse Party Girl Realness and Canine Couture (based on a real dog). Since she won the mini challenge, Chad gets to assign the dogs. She gives Phi Phi a dose of her own medicine and gives her the worst of the four dogs, a large and stubborn bloodhound. Good work, Chad!
Oh, and they also have to perform an opening group number. Dressed as dogs.
As if Drag Race fans weren't already convinced, Phi Phi spends the entire episode making sure we all hate her. And just to seal the deal, she hates her dog. America will stand for a lot of things but dog hate isn't one of them. Haha.
The Runway Rundown
(Look 1: Daytime Dog Park Realness. Look 2: Pooch in a Purse Party Girl. Look 3: Canine Couture)
- Latrice – Look 1: daytime hooker. Look 2: Night time hooker. Look 3: Frumpy in fur.
- Phi Phi – Look 1: Poo Poo O'Hara. Look 2: Dida wants her wig back girl. Look 3: Bloodhound gang bang
- Chad – Look 1: Perfect pooch. Look 2: Kool Kardashian. Look 3: Hot Maw Maw.
- Sharon – Look 1: Sharon Sunshine. Look 2: Someone call dog protective services. Look 3: Poodle Perfection.
And now we get to my favorite part of any competition show and that's when the host asks the contestants who should or should be in the finale. Ru asks the final four which queen shouldn't be in the Top 3.
Sharon says Phi Phi because America needs a sweetheart and not someone so cut throat. Phi Phi lashes out at Sharon and calls her a liar. So clearly Phi Phi picks Sharon because … well she couldn't think of a reason. Chad picks Phi Phi as well because Phi Phi has some maturating to do. Latrice picks Sharon. Because Sharon isn't polished, she says. OK girl, go check your orange makeup and your hem line and rethink that answer.
Of course it never matters who says what because the judges already have their minds made up. But it makes for some delicious drama.
Sharon wins the challenge and is the first put in the Top 3. The look on Phi Phi's face is priceless. She was so certain she'd win. Ru decides Chad is in the bottom 2 for the first time this season. Phi Phi is safe and is the second person in the Top 3. That means it's Latrice versus Chad in this week's lip sync for your life. This is three weeks in a row for Latrice and no one ever escapes elimination a third time.
Chad and Latrice take on Wynonna's “No One Else On Earth” and Latrice is lost. She's nailed the past two lip syncs, but Chad is the one really delivering. So needless to say, Chad wins the lip sync and rounds out the Top 3. Latrice sashays away. So there you have it. The Top 3 is Sharon Needles, Phi Phi O'Hara and Chad Michaels. And now every Drag Race fan can say a collective prayer that Phi Phi doesn't win the crown in two weeks.
And now for my Top 3 assessment:
Sharon Needles: Sharon is clearly a fan favorite. She's already won a Facebook contestant Logo sponsored for fans to pick ONE queen from the four season to return for the All-Stars show. Sharon is definitely the most unique queen the show has seen, so she has that going for her. She's also present an impromptu anti-bullying campaign this season and that's very timely. The biggest thing working against her would be the Absolut Vodka guy isn't a fan and the winner of Drag Race does headline the Absolut Vodka tour …
Phi Phi O'Hara: For every person who loves Sharon, there are two who dislike Phi Phi. The Phi Phi hate is all over Facebook and the message boards. Fans will not be happy if she wins. That being said, Phi Phi has really grown on the judges. And she has gotten better through the season. She's definitely a wild card at this point.
Chad Michaels: Chad has been pretty flawless all season. So much so that that has been her downfall. I know, right? ONLY in a reality show would someone get docked for being too good. The judges want to see Chad rough things up a bit. But I think that would be a crazy reason to not win the show. I think Chad will deliver for the finale, making the judges' decision between her and Sharon a tough one.
Drag Race Scorecard
Mini Challenge Winner: Chad Michaels
Main Challenge Winner: Sharon Needles
Eliminated: Latrice Royale
Quote of the Week: “You usually don't see a dark lady in the dog park in the light of day.” -Sharon Needles