Snooki & JWoww forged a lot of new ground last night, all in the name of love.
Snooki and Jionni adjusted to being new parents, which meant witnessing and cleaning up after many a newborn bodily function. Roger exposed Jenni to new nature experiences while they were vacationing in Maine, and as promised, she did most of it without complaining. The girlfriends kept up with each other via their pink (Jenni) and sparkly (Snooki) cell phones.
Here were the top moments from last night’s show:
While getting ready to go fishing with Roger, Jenni applied fake eyelashes. Roger goes, “Do you really need fake eyelashes to go fishing? We’re running late.” She looked at him, one fake eyelash already applied, and told him to calm it down. We’re in Maine, why in such a hurry? There’s no emergency.
You can take the girl outta Jersey, but you can’t take Jersey outta the girl.
Roger and J-Woww went fishing, during which time Jenni caught three fish, but wanted no part of bringing them onto the boat, touching them or setting them free again. That being said, she scored three more fish than Roger did. Other than the gigantic wolf spider than was riding along on the boat, Jenni came out of this one relatively unscathed by nature. She proudly told Roger she was staying “calm, cool and collective.”
And she also got bragging rights over Roger over her mad fishing skills.
3. Glam ‘n’ clam
As the two got back in the car to go clamming, Jenni pulled out her makeup kit and applied eyeshadow and touched up her makeup. As Roger rolled his eyes, she supplied her valid explanation.
“My eyelashes were blowing off!”
4. Parenting mishaps
Back at Chez Snooki, the new parents tried to figure out what the hell they were doing. We’ve been there, man, we’re not judging. But it was a little bit funny. Giving Baby L his first sponge bath, changing a diaper without getting peed and pooped on — it’s all a part of the learning process. And sometimes, when your shirt is covered in crap, learning can suck. But all in all, the duo make a good team, and they’re going to be good parents.
5. Baby noises
When most non-parents think of baby noises, coos or cries come to mind. But what many don’t realize that that a week-old baby can cut a fart like a frat boy who just had his fourth meal at Taco Bell. Being a purveyor of disgusting bodily functions, Snooki appreciated Lorenzo’s efforts and made sure everyone in the room gave him props. “He’s a tiny baby, but farts like a grown man!,” she said.
6. Diaper changing
Watching Snooki and Jionni tag team on night time diaper duty is kind of sweet. They’re both sleep deprived, but want to help each other. What it amounted to was Snooki putting on Lorenzo’s diaper backward, before they both erupted into hysterics.
6. Potty action
When Jenni and Roger arrived at their clamming destination, she needed to find a bathroom, and what she found instead was an outhouse. After holding herself back from ralphing, she set out to find the toilet paper, which was stored in a white bucket with a lid. “That’s how you keep the mice out of it,” one of her hosts said. She smiled, and just decided to hold it.
Finally — somewhere Jenni doesn’t find fit to pee! As she noted during the show, “I have peed on Deena’s foot, I have peed behind Karma’s bar. I have peed on porch step.”
But an outhouse? No can do.
Next up, J-Woww went clamming, which looked like a completely miserable experience. She trod around in deep mud, then used huge rake-like thingies to scoop up mud and snatch out clams — all while avoiding giant worms that apparently bite. We know, we can’t believe she did it, either.
When they were done, Roger coaxed her into eating a raw clam on the spot. As you can see, she loved it.
Roger admitted clamming isn’t for the faint of heart. “It’s a lot of hard work for little reward. (Pause) But it’s definitely more clam than I’ve gotten in a while.” Haha, Roger. Nice one.
8. Bear balls
While dining with Roger’s family, the couple were treated to a wilderness delicacy: Bear balls. Which, to be clear, are not bear testicles, but bear meatballs. Which, to me, seems almost as uneatable. When Jenni told Snooki about all her adventures, it made getting crapped on pale in comparison.
9. Lobster fishing
Jenni’s last task of endurance was the worst of the bunch: Lobster fishing. They set out on a fishing boat, packed with tons of tiny, smelly bait fish, the odor of which sprayed back in her face as the boat moved forward.
And guess what? She had to pee again. This time, her only option was a bucket, which she had to pee in, and the toss her pee overboard into the sea. This was clearly not as offensive as the outhouse, because she did it.
After, she loaded bait bags with stinky fish, and later, pulled lobster from a trip. Roger swelled with pride that his woman handled her business.
10. Roger talks to dad
Toward the end of the trip, Roger spent some alone time with his pops on a boat ride. He talked to dad about Jenni, and said he was probably gonna marry her — and hoped that he had his family’s approval. Dad said Hellz to the yes, we love her.
In short, he likes it, and he’s gonna put a ring on it.
Were you impressed with Jenni’s nature muffin efforts?
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