On last night’s season premiere of Snooki & Jwoww, the two Jersey Shore hell raisers looked for a city apartment together so they could enjoy some final shenanigans before settling into serious relationships with their boyfriends. Or so the premise was supposed to be.
Of course, the duo had signed contract for this spinoff before Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi got knocked up, so setting the stage seemed a little more forced than it would have been otherwise.
But just because Snooks won’t be getting wasted and exposing her vag to anyone with eyes, doesn’t mean the show won’t be entertaining. Case in point: Last night’s season premiere was filled with everyday events — Snooki and Jenni “J-Woww” Farley told friends/families they were going to be shacking up together, they went apartment-hunting and Snooki operated a motor vehicle — but managed to provide some laughs. No alcohol involved.
Here are the Top 10 Quotes from the season premiere:
1. “I think ‘kosher’ is like, healthy, organic food.” Snooki
2. “I definitely don’t want to be one of those kids that are, like, 40 years old and still living with their parents, and I feel like being 24, like, I’m almost at that point where I’m gonna be one of those people.” Snooki
3. Jwoww tells her boyfriend she’s moving in with Snooki. “Are you sure you want to do that? … Nicole’s a handful,” says Captain Obvious, who must think Jwoww had a lobotomy since she last lived with the mini meatball.
4. “If Roger (cheats on me) when I’m gone, his d*** will be hanging above my fireplace.” Jwoww
5. Snooki discussed paying bills and saving money with her dad, and considered using candles instead of lights. “I know a lot of Amish people don’t use electricity. They’re freakin’ rich, I feel. They have their own companies. Everywhere.”
6. “Can I change a tampon down there?” said Jwoww, looking down at a sidewalk.
7. “Are you Victor? Dude, what the f***?” Jwoww’s sparkling salutation upon meeting her Realtor, who was late for their meeting.
8. “Could you NOT wipe your vagina with my bagel?” Snooki to Jwoww.
9. “She has her period.” Snooki to Victor the Realtor.
10. “Instead of life throwing me a curve ball, it threw me a sperm ball.” Snooki on her pregnancy.
What did you think of the premiere? Will you still watch a sober Snooki?