It was only a matter of time before the Snooki we all know and love made her way back to the small screen. After spending weeks being a fabulous and diligent mother on Snooki & Jwoww, the mama meatball needed to blow off some steam.
In Tuesday’s episode, Snooki and Jionni each got a night out with their friends… and for Snooki, the results were exactly what we expected.
Here are the highlights and best quotes from the episodes.
Or should I say DUDchelor party? Jionni and his guy friends went out to celebrate his fatherhood, and I have to say, I’ve had more rockin’ times drinking apple juice in my living room during dance parties with my three-year-old. If any noteworthy fun was had by the fellas, MTV was not showing it.
Snooki, JWoww and Roger all did shots of Snooki’s breast milk, while Jionni stood by, calling them all “sick individuals.” I mean, I get that it’s kind of personal, but it’s not like they were taking shots of urine, Jionni. Calm it down. Snooki’s toast: “To my tits!”
On her way to the grocery store, Snooki backed right in Jionni’s car, chipping off part of the grill and possibly doing other damage. “This is the second time I’ve hit his car,” she said to cameras. “It was a simple accident.” Uh, we’ve seen your driving on Jersey Shore, Snooki. Frankly, we’re surprised any state allows her to operate a motor vehicle.
Girls’ night out
After Jionni’s boys’ night, Snooks, JWoww, Deena Cortese and their girls took to the streets. Both friends spoke of their plan to drink so much they blacked out, and by the time they reached the club, one of their crew had already barfed all over the limo and had to be taken home.
Inside, the old drunken, Snooki returned in full force. She was grinding on, and making out with, all of her girlfriends. She danced so hard she said her “placenta was going to fall out,” and that she many have busted out her vagina stitches. Naturally, she also collapsed to the floor a dozen times. To her credit, her busted vagina remained covered throughout the evening. So there’s that.
The night ended in hugs and giggles that will last her until next week’s episode, when she must face the wrath of Jionni after her antics.
“Fiance. It sounds French,” Jenni to Roger. “It IS French,” Roger replied.
“There is no semen in here because we haven’t had sex in six months,” Snooki, inviting Jenni to crash in bed with her while the guys went out.
“I’m really excited. I want to like, black out.” Jenni, of girls night.
“I’m scared to take a poop because my butt hurts, and I’m not sure why my butt hurts. The baby didn’t come out of my butthole,” Snooki.
“I don’t want to do any shots. Maybe, like, one.” Snooki, before getting wasted.
“Their eyes separate from each other, like they’re running from each other,” Jenni, on how to tell whether a meatball is drunk.