Snooki & JWoww: Season Finale

Snooki's kid is gonna need therapy if he ever sees this...

Snooki & JWoww: Season Finale

Last night, we bid adieu to Snooki & JWoww in the show’s season finale. But since the final season of Jersey Shore begins in next month, we’ll hardly have time to miss them.

Still, the spinoff was a decent way to pass the time in the absence the usual gym, tanning, laundry and fist-pumping antics of Seaside.

After Snooki found herself with child, the planned plot — which was originally supposed to be about the duo having one last hurrah before settling down with into more mature lives –  took a drastic turn. Instead, Snooki & JWoww focused on things like JWoww’s (manufactured?) arguing with boyfriend, Roger; Snooki preparing to be a mother; and how to have fun without getting sh*tfaced every day.

Here, we go over what happened in finale, and grade the season as a whole.

Making lemons from lemonade: B+
With Snooki pregnant, the whole premise of the show had to change, since drinking was no longer an option. We’ll give producers some credit for trying really hard keep this from being a snoozefest.Between the fake babies, the excursion to a sex museum, the drag queen restaurant, GayJoeyPalooza, the girls weekend in Cancun, cooking lessons and dying Jenni’s dogs, the setting often provided half the entertainment. In other words, the show didn’t rely on Snooki getting drunk and behaving like a miscreant, or JWoww peeing in public every other night.
Last night, in one ditch effort to make things interesting, Snooki and JWoww swapped boyfriends for the evening, and interrogated the boys about their feelings for their best friend. What they discovered was that everyone was in love — awwwwww! — but aren’t always great at constructively expressing their feelings. Welcome to being in a relationship, folks.

Snooki’s baby body: C

Granted, the process of having a baby didn’t really seem that appealing to me when I was in my 20s either. But I know I never spoke about it quite as … colorfully as Snooki has, who constantly worried about her “vagina ripping all the way to her a**hole” and other graphic musings. This actually seemed to be of more concern to her than caring for a newborn baby.
In the finale, she asked a woman if giving birth felt like pooping, and the women answered in the affirmative. That actually made Snooks feel better about the birthing process.”I love pooping, and I’m not afraid to say I have to poop. As long as I don’t poop on my baby.”
Hey man, whatever works. (Hope she saves money for the years of therapy Lorenzo will need after watching this show.)

Resolution: D
I’ve been wondering how they were going to end this thing, seeing as the storyline was totally contrived and unbelievable to begin with. I mean, if these two didn’t have a contract for this show, there’s NO WAY pregnant/engaged Snooki was gonna move in with Jenni.
So, after a lot of discussion, they decided to move out because Jenni needed to work out her situation with Roger, and Snooks needed to be near her man as the pregnancy wore on. “I don’t think we were thinking (when we moved in together),” said Snooki. “We went off instincts.” Yeah, the instinct to collect a paycheck.
They lived together so short a time, Snooki still wasn’t showing in the last episode.
Anyhoo, Jenni decided to move in with Roger and finally give him some sex, while Snooki skipped off to live in the paradise that is Jionni’s parents basement.  Everything was tied up with a big, happy bow at the end, but since it felt like the whole season was scripted, we just felt totally ‘meh’ about it.

What did you think of Snooki & JWoww? Will you watch season two?

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