Man, I hate to be all spoiler-y and everything, but have you heard that SNOOKI IS PREGNANT? Oh, you have?
Well, maybe that’s because she mentions it approximately four million times during each episode of Snooki and Jwoww. This week, the girls’ trip to Cancun came to an end, but not before Snooki cried a whole bunch because she couldn’t do tequila shots and show her vagina to every club-goer in Mexico.
Once they got back to the homeland, both ladies were excited to see their dudes. But since the girls returned a day early, Jionni and Roger already had plans to have a dudes’ night out. Snooki took it all in stride, but Jwoww threw a hissy fit because she expected Roger to cancel and rush to her side. Obviously, his entire existence should revolve around what she wants.
The boys wound up going to some meat market club and Snooki and Jwoww got all worried, so they did what any other non-trusting, angst-ridden significant other would do: they decided to stalk their boyfriends on Twitter. (Side note: Y’all kids have it easy nowadays. Back in the 1990′s, people actually had to leave the house to stalk their mates. Now, you can do it anonymously and see several people/places in just a few minutes, all without wasting your own gas.)
Anyhoo, turns out that during their outing, Roger and Jionni had their photos taken with some bar skanks, who in turn, proudly posted the pics on Twitter… because everyone knows the next best thing to meeting venereal disease factories like Pauly D or The Situation is meeting Snooki and Jwoww’s boyfriends, at least one of whom has admitted to having chlamydia numerous time. Of course, Snooki and Jwoww were pissed off, and both argued with their dudes over it.
Jwoww cried so hard during her fight with Roger that her fake eyelashes came off. Snooki yelled at Jionni for “touching skins” with another chick in a group photo. She told him he wasn’t ready to be a dad, he told her she wasn’t ready to be a mom, and Snooki slammed down the phone in tears.
Thankfully, the show ended on that note, before Snooki could complain that she was pregnant and couldn’t drink to take the edge off.
But we sure can. And we did. If only we’d have started about 30 minutes earlier.