10 Things We Learned Watching The Survivor Finale

Well. It’s over. And Probst is happy it is. You could tell last night that all he wants is for it to be September already so he can get his talk show going.

Nevertheless, the right woman won. If anyone else had won this truly would be the worst season ever.

And here are:

TEN THINGS I LEARNED (watching the Survivor 24 finale and reunion):

10. Alicia is more delusional than I originally thought.  WTF was up with her jury “question” that was more a statement of grandeur than an actual question? She and her heels and her “nappy hair” can go record some more bad karaoke now (yes, I saw the video, did you?).

9. Christina has really nice boobies! No, really, she looked great in that dress during jury questioning. Purrr…

8. Kat CAN be tolerable, and even wonderful. Her “closing speech” at the jury questioning was unexpected and really pretty neat. “…don’t be angry in your decision making because it takes more energy to be angry” to the jury was the best part of the jury questioning round.  I wish her the best in her upcoming surgery!

7. Matt is still the biggest tool ever. Seriously dude…how and when and where did you play the “best game out there”? Out where? In Mattville?

6. Colton is not a horrible person. He is a horribly BLOATED person. Like, um, who inflated him?!  I hope his mom confiscates the milk and cookies when they get home.

5. If you’re going to use the “I was laid off” plea for a vote, you should mention it sooner than during the jury questions. Um, Sabrina.

4. Kim actually knew her boobs had disappeared. Her “I know I lied to you and I voted you out but I have no boos left so have a little mercy” would have been a GREAT opening speech, but alas, she chickened out and didn’t say it. Sigh.

3. Troyzan was cooler and better looking stranded on Survivor. End of story.

2. Blossom (although yesterday she was going by Mayim Bialik or some bizarre name like that) clearly has too much time on her hands. Why on earth she’d want to attend the Survivor finale and actually BE ON CAMERA is beyond. Isn’t she bigger than that?!

And the #1 thing I learned last night:

1. That it IS possible not to watch an entire reunion show, because for the first time in my Survivor life I turned it off.  Is it me or is it Probst or is it just time for Survivor to die?  Really Finale night on my FIRST MOTHER’S DAY ever?!

Hope all you mommies had a wonderful Mother’s Day! See you all next season!

Oh, and yeah…Kim is award 1000 points for winning everything. Winner!