Many of us seem to agree that Survivor should be on our television screen for longer than an hour! Because we just want more. We’re greedy like that. Even if we got to the root of Russell Swan’s obsession with EXCELLENCE, it’s not enough. We want more!
By the way, did anyone else find Russell’s story a little disjointed? I mean, basically: Russell got beat up by bullies when he was eight. Then one day Russell punched one of the bullies in their face and this empowered Russell to live happily ever in excellence. The End. That was the story right?
Great story. And great season too. There’s a little bit of everything for everyone, it seems. We still have enough “famous” people left over to mingle with the invisible ones or crazy-or-sane-or-beautiful ones. Does that make sense? It does to me.
Basically, the five traits always prevalent in recent casts of Survivor. Are you:
Some castaways are a combination of some sort, so let’s discuss:
CRAZY (+50 points): Crazy is always good tv. But I don’t have to tell you that. It’s what makes me brace when Abi starts in on RC and basically goes gangster. I really don’t know what would happen if Abi ever did pounce on RC’s back and start mauling her. RC’s pretty strong. But I give Abi credit for making me imagine such a thing in the first place. Abi’s so crazy! And she refers to herself as “salty”. Okay. Then there’s Blair. I adore her but she is crazy. She grew up in the public eye and then disappeared to live her life and here she is baring it all again. I love it. She’s had meltdowns but she’s still around. It’s a fact of life. That’s hardcore. And Penner, he’s crazy too. He talks a mile a minute and wears his Survivor heart out on his sleeve and he’s got Jeff and Carter in some male alliance, although I would have sworn Carter would have gone with the ladies. Penner’s on some natural high or something, but good for him. Crazy is fun to watch. And Pete will be someone to watch, because he is getting a little crazy with the ego there. His setting RC up to look untrustworthy was not only fun to watch, but also one of the crazier moves we’ve seen this season thus far. This includes all the “crazy” moves Skupin’s made, that cut and bumped and bruised and made him bleed. He’s crazy too. It’s not okay to be that clumsy. He’s such a smart guy, but the crazy thread running through him makes for some unnecessary concussions in life. 50 POINTS: ABI/BLAIR/PENNER/PETE/SKUPIN
SANE (+50 points): Crazy is always good tv, but sanity is a premium in the game and in front of the jury. Dawson seems incredibly sane and also likeable both to viewers and to the rest of her tribe. While RC is sane yet caught up in some deadly Brazilian churrascaria named Abi. I actually feel bad for RC as she has no clue as to the cruel intentions on the part of Pete and Abi. Katie is going to fall under sane here too, as she hasn’t triggered any crazy flags for me, even if she annoyed me two weeks ago with all the family and unity talk. If she pulls through in challenges and around camp, she’s an asset to her tribe and also a possible swing vote come merge. Then there’s Carter, who seems very goofy, but sane all the same. And he SPOKE full sentences this episode! About strategy! Totally sane! We also heard more from Dana, another sane one in my book. Yes, she’s got tattoos everywhere, but so do I and I’m totally sane. I hope Dana delivers on building an all-estrogen alliance come merge time. I know Denise would be down for that later, as she and Malcolm are disheartened and outnumbered. Denise is one of the sanest survivors I’ve ever seen, and I have come to appreciate her so much. And our friend Artis seems pretty sane, and he brought out his guns this episode as he smashed pots of rice to bring his tribe to victory, earning immunity and steak and veggies. Yum. Not yum for Malcolm’s tribe, as he did not deliver on the rice-smashing portion of the challenge. But that doesn’t make him any less sane. In fact I’d say Malcolm’s got a pretty cool head in the game, as does Jeff, which is great for both of them. He’s been able to 50 POINTS: EVERYONE but ABI/BLAIR/PENNER/PETE/SKUPIN
BEAUTIFUL (+50 points): Beauty is in the eye of the casting director and of the beholder. Everyone’s beautiful in his/her own way blah blah blah, but clearly there are typecasts. Beauty can be a strength or weakness, as past seasons have shown us, and Angie and her beautiful cookies are already gone. There are the conventional “beauties” like Katie and Pete, etc. And also Malcolm, who tells us that “Russell lacks self-awareness,” which I thought was spot-on. Malcolm’s got the eye candy meets brain candy factor. But I’m also giving a shout to Blair and Skupin for looking incredibly beautiful for their respective ages, 49 and 50. And I’m throwing a nod to RC and Denise for their insanely muscular bodies. Malcolm referred to Denise as “an ox of a woman” and he was not mistaken. I’m four years younger than Denise, and I can say my body’s never even come close to what hers looks like. There. 50 POINTS: ABI/KATIE/DAWSON/PETE/RC/BLAIR/SKUPIN/DENISE/MALCOLM
FAMOUS (+50 points): I use this term, famous, lightly here as returning players count as famous. Speaking of which, goodbye Russell Swan. You were crazy and sane at the same time and you had a great body too, but I’m glad you’re gone because we won’t have to hear anymore about your “willing to die for this game”. Nobody wants anyone to have to die, dude. You have left behind Skupin and Penner as the remaining veterans. And Jeff and Blair have not yet been “outed” for being famous so perhaps they will stick around longer, although the previews of next week’s episode make it look like Jeff may be out with an injury. Too bad there’s no “disabled list” in Survivor. And too bad Jeff didn’t expand upon his statement that “everyone here but Penner is young and unmarried and therefore cannot hold a professional conversation”. I hope I get a chance to one day tell Jeff that I am old and married and a professional conversationalist. Really. And good for Blair for catching on to the fact that she should just let RC and Abi fight it out. I also loved Blair’s “Look at all these spices Abi!” after winning the Immunity Reward Challenge, particularly after she’d referred to Abi as a “Brazilian spice” just minutes before. 50 POINTS: SKUPIN/PENNER/JEFF/BLAIR
INVISIBLE (+50 points): There must be a level of invisibility to succeed in the game of Survivor. How invisible you are on the television screen, however, is up to the producers. Either way, I’m not taking away points in this blog. I think some of the less visible castaways are actually doing fine and it may be a good thing they’re not in the middle of drama like Roxy or Angie were…or like RC and Abi are. But I have to admit I gasped when I heard Carter speak last night. I know some of you did too! And I certainly hope Dawson is able to bank on the knowledge she has about Jeff’s true identity. Artis showed us that he can keep up with the rest of his tribe in this last Immunity Reward Challenge which is the biggest bone we’ve been thrown. And Katie and Dana seem to be on to something with getting together with Dawson to combat the boys of Kalabaw if the time comes. Here’s to hoping that the invisible people soon come up with some Survivor explosives! 50 POINTS: ARTIS/KATIE/CARTER/DANA/DAWSON
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And there you have it. I’ve expended all the points I can. All I can do now is deduct points if I wish. And I wish. -10 points for everyone across the board for standing by and letting 18 pots of rice go to waste! For shame!
And at the end of this week…Jeff is still #1 and it seems Dawson has made the biggest moves in the standings going from 13 to 9!