Survivor Week 9 Blog: Yearbook Mania!

Jun Song tells you which castaway is Most Likely to Rat On You

Survivor Week 9 Blog: Yearbook Mania!

I love Survivor. I’ve always loved Survivor. But I’m having a hard time investing any real care in any of the remaining castaways. Why?!?!?!

Is it me? No. It’s them. I’m just…not that into them.

Maybe if I try something different this blog…maybe take it back to 1993 when I graduated high school (and if you’re reading this I expect you to leave a comment below letting me know when YOU graduated high school…for, ahem…research purposes).  Let’s play a little Yearbook Mania with these people!

I’ll start with me. Yes. I always make it about me at some point. Well…I graduated as Senior Class President (+10 points according to my momz) but also voted “Class Clown” (-10 according to my momz) so I suppose I ended high school with a score of zero…for example.  I can dig up an old high school photo somehow if you dare me to post it. I was very plump and friendly and manipulative then too. Teehee.

Here is my Most Likeliest of Likelies List for Survivor One World:

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

KIM: MOST LIKELY TO LOSE ALL HER BREAST FAT (-5 points) because, girl, you look like you’re losing what little body fat you had to start the season with.  MOST LIKELY TO DIE OF SPLINTERS IN HER ASS/END UP THE OLD LADY WHO LIVED IN A CANOE (-5 points) because, well, you’re addicted to sitting in that thing aren’t you?

MOST LIKELY TO BE SEEN AS CALM AND SOFTSPOKEN AND FORGETTABLE (+10 points) because, let’s face it, these were your words not mine. Good game plan. Everything’s going according to your plan so far (+5 points).

Kim’s Overall Point Tally:  +5 points

CHELSEA:  MOST LIKELY TO WIN (+5 points) this season because you “love money” and if you get to the end enough people would vote for you. Good job winning immunity when all the other girls quit for the promise of a sugar rush (+10 points). MOST LIKELY TO BE STALKED BY WEIRD RELIGIOUS FREAKS WHO LIKE FAKE BOOBS (-5 points) because I’m sure I’m not the only one who noticed your “praying” before the Reward Challenge…and Tarzan totally outed you last week about the fake boobs

Chelsea’s Overall Point Tally: +10 points

SABRINA: MOST LIKELY TO BE QUOTED for things like “I likes Troy like I cooked food” (+5 points) and “Put on your big girl panties and make big-girl decisions to get to the end” (+5 points). MOST LIKE TO BE SENT HOME AT SOME POINT for choosing two cookies and a glass of milk over individual immunity (-5 points).

Sabrina’s Overall Point Tally: +5 points

KAT: MOST LIKELY TO RAT ON YOU (-5 points) like how you ran tattletaling to Sabrina about Chelsea. MOST LIKELY TO ACHIEVE ORGASM OVER BARBECUED FOOD (+5 points) like you did before the Reward Challenge.  I appreciate chicks who appreciate bbq.

And then you actually scored first for your team (+5 points) which was quite impressive.

Kat’s Overall Point Tally: +5 points

How to win back your ex

e=”text-decoration: underline;”>TROY: MOST LIKELY TO BE PARANOID AFTER SMOKING A JOINT (+5 points) because it’s just more fun that way…and besides, it made you use your immunity idol (+5 points). I’m glad to see you didn’t follow Kim blindly this week (+10 points). MOST LIKELY TO BE CALLED MONKEY MAN FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE (-5 points) especially since Kat calls you that.

Troy’s Overall Point Tally: +15 points

JAY: Good for you for trying to get some talks in with people…but you chose chicken wings over immunity. And lay off the helium…and muscle juicing…I hear it makes guys get all high-pitched.

Jay’s Overall Point Tally: FAIL

ALICIA: MOST LIKELY TO SURVIVE IN A SAW MOVIE (+5 points) which may come in handy one day. I actually appreciated your “This is the part where you need to take your heart out of the game and put your brain back in the game, seriously” (+5 points). MOST LIKELY TO MAKE ME LIKE HER A LITTLE MORE with “Like, Chelsea got all sensitive” and such statements (+5 points).  MOST LIKELY TO LEAVE WITH A SERIOUS CAVITY (-5 points) after choosing candy and chocolate over individual immunity.  Dumbass.

Alicia’s Overall Point Tally: +10 points

CHRISTINA: MOST LIKELY TO BE DISRESPECTED BUT GET FURTHER BECAUSE OF IT (+5 points).  Good job on scoring THE only point for your team at the Reward Challenge (+10 points) even if nobody cared or will remember.  MOST LIKELY TO BE CAST IN THE KOREAN VERSION OF THE MOVIE CARRIE (-5 points) because I can’t be the only one who thought this when you lost the Immunity Challenge.

Christina’s Overall Point Tally: +10 points

LEIF: MOST LIKELY TO GET A REALITY SHOW AFTER THIS(+5 points) which won’t happen but if it happened to anyone it should be Leif…because, he just rocks. And good move sharing your burgers with Chelsea (+5 points). MOST LIKELY TO START A WOODEN-CRATE-BED COMPANY (+5 points) after sleeping in one all season he’d have the best testimonials!

Leif’s Overall Point Tally: +15 points

TARZAN: MOST LIKELY TO BE CAUGHT IN DRAG AND DANCING ON A POLE (+5 points) just for fun. I swear if he shows up at the finale/reunion with a perm like Keith T. did, I will die.

Nice job scoring four points for your team at the Reward Challenge (+5 points) and teaching me WTF a “bolus” is (+5 points) during your explanation of the challenge. MOST LIKELY TO HAVE OFFERS OF PROTEIN (-5 points) after making that statement about not having had any in 23 days. Ew.

Tarzan’s Overall Point Tally: +10 points

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I don’t know about you but I’ve been to high school with all the “Most Likelies” in this blog…especially the paranoid-weed-smoker title.  And speaking of weed…

It’s time to close this blog…congrats to

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Comments

  • Devin

    Graduated 2005

  • Stacie Reese

    Class of 2011 ;)

  • tom

    Class of 2008. Most likely to be late to graduation.

  • kcsmum

    K. Only because I love you I will confess that my graduation was a full 20 yrs before yours!! Yes, 1973 was a good year! I think this is why you fit so securly under my wing. Blog is fab as always. Protein for Tarzan…Eeewwww.

  • http://twitter.com/MizJones602 Michelle Jones

    Class of 1982….Cheerleading Captain Most likely to get to school (Murry Bergtraum HS for Business Careers) early to smoke weed!!
    I keep saying Tarzan is Philip 2.0 even down to the drawers. His twist is the poop. FYI…That was Monica’s shirt Tarzan is wearing.
    Wasn’t expecting a blog this week since Momz arrived and Noah got sprung from the hospital.
    Another great entry…

    • Lissersmom

      Michelle is right…Monica confirmed on Twitter that Tarzan was wearing her red shirt. Cross-dresser….

  • http://twitter.com/richardfromNO Richard Douvillier

    Graduated 1977/ 347 guys in my graduating class. In line at graduation I had to look 10 people in front and 16 behind me to find some whose name I knew.

  • http://twitter.com/richardfromNO Richard Douvillier

    BTW, I lost my Senior ring on Grad night! Boy were my parents mad!

  • Jbadanai

    I am from the class of 92 and am so thankful that you mentioned the shirt Tarzan wore, as I was watching the show all I could think is it a woman’s blouse?

  • http://twitter.com/JunDishes Jun Song

    OMG you guys are KILLING ME. I really do love you guys :)

  • http://twitter.com/DeanoBrown2010 Dean Brown

    I “graduated” 2006!! Although in the UK they don’t call it that unless you drag your lazy-ass through college and then university as well!! SO technically I graduated in 2011!! haha…

    And Jun, PLEASE don’t let your Momz know I’m disagreeing with her, but IMO the “Class Clown” title should be rewarded with at LEAST a +10 in power rankings!! lol

    OMG When they showed Tarzan in that red top the 1st thought in my head was “why is he wearing a dress?”!! haha…

    It always amazes me how much I agree with your blog!! I actually found myself liking Alicia a TINY bit this week :O She’s a cold-hearted bitch!! But luckily for her that works well when strategizing in this game!!

    Im also kind of impressed with how well the girls have stuck together, unless the show has been edited it seems like there’s no chance in hell they’re gonna turn on each other until all the guys are gone!! And good for them!!

    I hope you’re enjoying your time with Baby Noah AND Momz (And Davy of course lol).. Nice to know you care so much about us that you can STILL find the time to type up a blog for us to read this week :)
    Keep up the awesome work ;)

  • http://twitter.com/Deblwalker Debra Walker

    Hi Jun, I graduated in 1972 from Brownsville High School in Brownsville, Texas. 10 days later I went to Europe with the High School Choir, I did get to go to many beautiful places, one was in Brussels, Belgium.

  • http://twitter.com/mikebr94 Michael Brown

    I graduated in 2011 coming second to every special award you can recieve!

  • http://twitter.com/JunDishes Jun Song

    Momz is still not giving in…she considers “Class Clown” a bad thing. HA!

  • Mappy

    The year of your fav number ;)