Save The Drama For Montana

Everyone hates Tierra, except for the one person who counts.

Save The Drama For Montana

Monday’s episode of The Bachelor was the first time we’ve seen Sean Lowe as anything less than sunny and genial. He was barely more upset after being dumped by Emily Maynard than he was at the conclusion of the two-hour episode, following a weird night where he impulsively gave a date rose to the biggest nonentity in the cast, while simultaneously seeming to cool noticeably about Desiree, who many have seen as the early favorite.

It all goes to show once again that it doesn’t matter if the Bachelor is boring or not – these people have become experts at creating drama out of unpromising raw material.

Chris Harrison gave the final 11 the word that the whole menagerie would be heading on the road, with stop one being the wilds of Montana – and frankly, Sean sounded more excited about being in Montana than he has about the prospect of being in most of these ladies. There was no “shirtless Sean” intro this time, however. Hey, it gets cold up there. “I get to see my boyfriend! Yaaaaaay!” yelled Daniella, by way of reminding us that she exists.

Bachelor 17 Week 5 Lindsay Sean Date

The only solo date this week was with Lindsay, who Sean noted with amazement came very close to being bounced on the first night, after getting sloppy drunk. The date seemed to be little more than a chopper ride to a high meadow, a short picnic, and dinner. We, and possibly Sean too, have been looking for evidence that Lindsay has some sort of deep inner life, and she provided a bit of that by talking about how much she missed her two-star general dad when the Iraq War was raging. Sean saw that as a positive sign that she’s seeking stability, but I still think she comes across as too immature for all this. She’s sweet, though, and she’s clearly one of the ladies Sean feels a strong physical chemistry with, along with Selma and Catherine.

Eight women were announced for the group date, which left Tierra and Jackie with the knowledge that they were getting the dreaded two-on-one – whereupon Tierra ruffled feathers in the group again by suggesting she didn’t really mind. The other eight proceeded to a ranch-y place, where they come across bales of hay and some tied-up goats. One of the women, and I’m so sad they didn’t show us who, spotted the goats and asked “Are those dogs?” This show doesn’t include the Ivy League in its contestant search.

Bachelor 17 Week 5 Sean Group Date

The ladies were divided into two groups for a race, which included a canoe trip, moving some of the hay around, sawing through a log, milking a goat, and then having to drink the milk. After some major issues with the canoe, the team of Robyn, Selma, Sarah, and Desiree ended up winning (no, Sarah neither had to row nor saw the log), which meant that Daniella, Catherine, AshLee, and Lesley were headin’ back to the lodge, date over. Or so everyone thought.

As the winners proceeded to the local hot spot in Whitefish, Sean announced that he needed to “bend the rules” by asking the losing team to come by as well. The winners were understandably annoyed, with Desiree griping that she drank those hot goat emissions for nothing. It also occurred to them that one of the losers might also get the group date rose, which would really rub it in.

So the question here is: was inviting the losing team to drop by a producers’ request to create new drama, Sean innocently just wanting extra women to make out with, or was there someone in particular he wanted to see? Given the way he snuck off with Catherine after the losers arrived, you have to wonder. These two still haven’t had a solo date, but this is now the second straight week Sean has seen fit to get her alone in an otherwise group situation. Daniella came upon the two on a bench outside the tavern, with Catherine literally sitting on his lap, and she backed away, sniffling that she was never going to get her chance with Sean, yadda yadda. But he called Daniella away for a talk later and when she let her emotions out, he was inspired to give her the date rose – this after we had barely seen them interact all month. Tears = rose from this guy, and you assume they all have to have noticed this.

But, oh yeah: before all this, Tierra showed up at the group date too – unseen by any of the other women, and with her absence apparently unnoticed by Jackie and Lindsay back at their quarters (I call complete BS that she could just leave those two oblivious). In her voiceover, she complained about feeling ignored by the lack of a solo date, and after surprising Sean during one of his producer interviews, she said she saw the two-on-one as a “slap in the face.” Sean honestly didn’t seem all that pleased to see her, and combined with the negative opinions of every other person in the house, you would think this might make a lightbulb go off. You would think.

Bachelor 17 Week 5 Jackie Sean Date

The two-on-one brought Jackie and Tierra to yet another ranch, where the three rode some horses before dinner (there really wasn’t much to the dates this week). Jackie’s strategy here was to sow more doubts about the immediate threat, which she did by telling Sean that Tierra seemed a bit too into a cute guy she saw at the airport before the flight to Montana (who knows if this really happened). Tierra used her time with Sean more productively, offering up some personal information: she had a long-term relationship with someone who was in and out of rehab, and who subsequently died. As we saw in just the previous segment, Sean loves him some sob story, and this clinched the rose for her as if there was ever a question. As Tierra cackled in glee, we saw Jackie heading home in the Off-Road Vehicle of Rejection.

The good news heading into the cocktail party was that only one woman would be going home, but the bad news was that with Jackie gone and Daniella safely with a rose, someone we hadn’t seen as unsafe before now would have to leave. Could that someone actually be Desiree? Her alone time with Sean raised some questions, since he seemed positively annoyed when she brought up his tendency to give roses out of pity, and again suggested Tierra didn’t belong there without being specific about the reason why. (Interestingly, he also had a somewhat tense encounter with AshLee, another presumed frontrunner, during the group date.) Sean claims that no one will tell him exactly what the issue is with Tierra, though when Jackie brought up the airport guy on the earlier date, he thanked her and then sent her home anyway.

Tierra safely has a rose, but does that mean she won’t be the center of attention? We should be so lucky. After some of the women talked about missing Jackie, Tierra stomped off to be by herself, and then got confronted by Robyn, with Lesley and Catherine standing by in support but not saying much. The conversation wasn’t easy to follow, but Robyn seemed to accuse Tierra of acting like a victim and not taking the time to form relationships with the other women, while Tierra fought back by saying that she’s being picked on, and for that matter, she doesn’t even need this stupid show! At one point while she rages at Robyn, Sean walks through the room and seems surprised. Why, I haven’t seen this side of her that every other person in the house has said is the real Tierra, he says to himself.

Sean called Lesley aside (not Robyn, interestingly) to ask her what the hell is up with Tierra, and Lesley dances around the issue, saying that it might be a problem if your future wife doesn’t get along with anybody else. I actually do feel a bit for Sean here, since what’s wrong with Tierra isn’t really easy to put in a soundbite – you have to be around her all the time like the women are, or watching her private comments like we are, to get the full measure of her crazy. He comes away from the cocktail party down on the process. For their part, the women are encouraged enough by Tierra’s latest antics to wonder if Sean might actually strip her of the rose she already has.

But nope, it’s Robyn who ends up leaving, and with only a curt “Best of luck, OK?” at the Limo of Rejection. It doesn’t escape anyone’s attention that after all his “I want all of you to come to me if there’s anything I need to know” promises, he has now sent home the woman Tierra was just fighting with, and who was known as her biggest rival in the game. “Be scared,” says Selma. Oh yes. The evil is coming from inside the house!!

Next week – er, Tuesday – Tierra continues in her mission to meet every EMT worker in North America.

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