What2Watch In Reality: Top Model #19 Named

Also: Survivor is getting crazy, and The Voice is down to 12.

What2Watch In Reality: Top Model #19 Named

The week ahead in reality TV—because I don’t have near as much money as Jeff Kent:

 

Monday:

Dancing with the Stars (ABC, 8 p.m.): The ballroom-style dances are apparently going to be a salute to Veterans Day. Well, OK.

The Voice (NBC, 8 p.m.): No more battles or knockouts: it’s just the final 12, all on the same level.

Teen Mom 2 (MTV, 10 p.m.): A new season opens with Leah about to get divorced, and Jenelle trying to avoid trouble while on probation. Do these kids have any chance, honestly?

Tuesday:

Extreme Couponing (TLC, 10 p.m. and 10:30 p.m.): One half of a couple – the male half, if I needed to spell it out – wants to find a way to spend just $20 on a reception after their renewal of vows. His wife might be looking into discount funerals soon.

Million Dollar Decorators (Bravo, 10 p.m.): The new season begins with Mary handling a client who is leaving all the key decisions to her dog – proving yet again that “eccentric” is just rich people’s talk for “insane.”

Wednesday:

Survivor: Philippines (CBS, 8 p.m.): I’m almost hoping they just rerun last week’s episode, so maybe this time I can figure out what the hell is going on. Survivor is usually so straightforward, but that last tribal council was like watching a 2-year-old drawing on a wall with crayons.

LOLwork (Bravo, 11 p.m.): The gang enlists in a Career Day, which is ironic since they’re mostly folks who couldn’t fit in with a regular career.

Thursday:

Project Runway All-Stars (Lifetime, 9 p.m.): The designers are tasked with creating stuff based on ideas sent in by the readers of USA Today. A dress that looks like a color weather map? Why not?

Jersey Brides (TLC, 10 p.m. and 10:30 p.m.): The latest example of my “reality show mash-up” trend in action. The premiere episodes feature a former pro wrestler looking for her dream gown, and a bride from hell who can’t settle on anything.

Friday:

America’s Next Top Model (CW, 8 p.m.): Cycle 19 ends with a photo shoot that reduces the finalists from three to two, and a runway show in Montego Bay before the winner is announced. You can not only cut the tension with a knife, but you can rip it in half like a wet paper towel.

Monsters Inside Me (Animal Planet, 8 p.m.): I’m really only highlighting this because of the episode title: “I Coughed Up Worms!” Don’t tell me you don’t want to see that.

Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team (CMT, 9 p.m.): The season ends with the gals preparing for their big halftime show about the fight against breast cancer. Shouldn’t they be saluting breast implants instead?

Sunday:

Big Rich Texas (Style, 8 p.m.): Leslie has herself a megarich fiancé, and her friends are skeptical, because that’s what real friends do … along with starting fights at her engagement party. Also, Kalyn attempts to mend fences with her mother.

Married to the Army: Alaska (OWN, 10 p.m.): With Army Wives currently between seasons, this could serve as a decent substitute. I’m trying to imagine my own mom in a reality show about her life as a military wife. A whole hour of watching someone do laundry?

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