Looking ahead to the week in reality TV – because it’s either that, or Joe Giudice keeps walking around with his shirt off.
Monday: The Voice (NBC, 8 p.m.): The blind auditions roll merrily along. So each coach gets 16 this season? They’re really pressing their luck.
Real Housewives of New York City (Bravo, 9 p.m.): The Housewives shows have found the perfect way to extend the drama of the cast vacations: spend the next several episodes arguing about what happened on vacation.
Tuesday: So You Think You Can Dance (Fox, 8 p.m.): An entertaining (if not perfect) ninth season ends with the announcement of the show’s first dual winners. My prediction skills have proven imperfect over the years, but look for Eliana Girard and Cyrus Spencer to be the lucky pair.
Wednesday: Survivor: Philippines (CBS, 8 p.m.): Season 25 of the granddaddy of reality competition commences in a new locale for the franchise, but with three returning players who were all forced off the show due to injury or illness: Jonathan Penner, Russell Swan, and Michael Skupin. Also: a middle-aged Blair.
Big Brother (CBS, 9:30 p.m.): The surest sign that it’s time to put away the sunscreen for another year: BB is ending. It will come down to three houseguests, with either Ian or Danielle winning for the first time, or Dan winning for the second.
South Beach Tow (TruTV, 9:30 p.m.): In the season premiere, Eddie runs into an effective security guard, and a real estate agent has his sports car repo’d.
Here Comes Honey Boo Boo (TLC, 10 p.m.): Alana turns 7, so sketti for everyone! Also, Mama plays bingo, and Alana meets the reigning Miss Georgia, who no doubt had no idea this was part of the contract.
The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons (MTV, 10 p.m.): Isn’t every season of The Challenge a “battle of the seasons?” I’m confused, which is often the case when I’m talking about MTV. Anyway, it’s back, so if you missed the St. Thomas Real World cast in its one week off the air, this is your lucky night.
Thursday: Braxton Family Values (WE, 9 p.m.): The family vacations in St. Lucia; Trina renews her vows, which annoys her sisters for some reason.
Prom Queens (Lifetime, 10:30 p.m. and 11 p.m.): Finding out who becomes the queen and who embarks on a lifetime of lamenting what might have been is what this new series is all about. The first two episodes are set in the not-terribly-similar locales of Miami Beach and Tatum, Texas.
Friday: Secret Princes (TLC, 10 p.m.): Four young single men who are vaguely “royalty” in their home countries move to Atlanta, take menial jobs, and search for love. I’m serious; this is actually a show. Maybe we can introduce these guys to the young ladies from Breaking Amish, and get a third show?
Sunday: Ice Road Truckers (History, 10 p.m.): The sixth season finale is titled “The Final Showdown,” which had better mean someone is getting wet or I will feel cheated.
Real Housewives of New Jersey (Bravo, 10 p.m.): The Season Four finale is teasing some drama surrounding Melissa, which doesn’t seem right to me. But I’m sure it will all be about Teresa in the end.