Here’s the week ahead in reality TV – because Robin Thicke has wandering hands:
The Bachelorette (ABC, 8 p.m.): Emily Maynard meets the families of the final four. I’m mostly interested in seeing the parents responsible for Chris, the only one of the group who’s off his rocker at the level of seasons past.
America’s Got Talent (NBC, 8:30 p.m.): It’s the first live show of the season, which means a big test for Howard Stern. 12 of the final 48 perform, and the process is repeated over the next three weeks, just in time for the NBC Olympics break.
Four Houses (TLC, 10 p.m.): Four homeowners tour and critique each other’s residences, with the highest scorers winning $10,000 and a write-up in Better Homes and Gardens. Let’s hope for at least one psycho every week to liven things up.
Tuesday: Hell’s Kitchen (Fox, 8 p.m.): It turns out that some of the contestants are more concerned with infighting than in their dinner service. I’ve never heard of such a scandal!
Haunted Highway (Syfy, 10 p.m.): The latest series that aims to investigate paranormal phenomena begins its run in Minnesota and Utah. Among the sleuths is Jack Osbourne, who you’d think has seen enough strange creatures in his family tree.
The Glee Project (Oxygen, 10 p.m.): The wannabes are tested on adaptability, which is fitting considering that Glee adds and drops storylines every five minutes or so.
Breaking Pointe (CW, 8 p.m.): It’s too bad more people didn’t check out this six-week series, the best show that’s been on the CW in a long, long time. On the finale, the dancers are concerned about Rex’s fall, while Christiana and her husband have a big fight about her future.
The Choice (Fox, 9 p.m.): Rob Kardashian is among the contestants. A Kardashian in the dating market: what could possibly go wrong?
Say Yes to the Dress (TLC, 9 p.m.): One of the prospective brides heads out shopping with her best friend, figure skater Johnny Weir, for whom wedding gowns are basically everyday clothing.
Saturday: ER Nights (Discovery Health, 10 p.m.): Is there a better time than Saturday night for a show about the crazy things that happen in an emergency room? The big incident tonight: a young man is seriously stabbed at a party.
Big Ang (VH1, 9 p.m.): The very scary Mob Wives star now has her own series, focusing on the operation of her Staten Island bar and the management of her new celebrity.
Hoarding: Buried Alive (TLC, 9 p.m.): I’ve missed my hoarding shows! Tonight, dealing with a fellow who has collected so much Elvis memorabilia that he’s run out of actual living space.
Call of the Wildman (Animal Planet, 10 p.m.): The Turtleman captures a raccoon that has been making a ruckus, but it turns out that the coon left babies behind. Also, a wild horse is threatening a farmer’s cattle herd.
Real Housewives of New Jersey (Bravo, 10 p.m.): Caroline’s son introduces his new girlfriend to the family. Run the other way! Also, Kathy meets her sister’s new sweetie, and there’s drama at the birthday party for Melissa’s daughter. Why does anyone throw parties on this show, ever?