The coming week in reality TV – because Honey Boo Boo’s family is coming over with roadkill later.
Monday: Stars Earn Stripes (NBC, 8 p.m.): In the finale, an early shootout eliminates two players, the remaining stars have a tricky mission to retrieve intelligence, and an escape from a battleship tops it off. Wow, it’s all very Stallone-esque.
American Chopper (Discovery, 9 p.m.): Senior and Junior aren’t always friendly, but in the Season 8 premiere, they work together on a charity bike build.
Girlfriend Confidential: LA (Oxygen, 11 p.m.): Four friends – a model, a designer, a talent manager, and an actress – experience the excitement of being young and in L.A. Which I guess means they’re all waitresses somewhere?
Tuesday: Beverly Hills Nannies (ABC Family, 9 p.m.): Season finale: Kristin and Amber’s feud threatens to get out of control, and Maggie’s mistake threatens her new job.
Flipping Out (Bravo, 9 p.m.): A sixth season of Jeff Lewis behaving like a jackass commences with our favorite flipper getting in a pointless fight with his boyfriend, and putting in his two cents regarding Jenni and her husband-to-be.
Wednesday: So You Think You Can Dance (Fox, 8 p.m.): The next-to-last night of competition features the final six, and the latest test to see if the virtually untrained Cyrus “Glitch” Spencer can somehow get to the end.
Here Comes Honey Boo Boo (TLC, 10 p.m.): It’s the Fourth of July episode, and who doesn’t want to see these people handling fireworks? Also, June shops for a new competition wig for Alana.
Thursday: Big Brother (CBS, 9 p.m.): Seven become six this week, as the season begins winding down. For someone whose gameplay probably didn’t get enough kudos when he was on the show originally, Dan is sure making up for it this year.
Texas Car Wars (Discovery, 10 p.m.): The latest show featuring people going to “war” over what most of us would call junk concerns four shops in Texas that restore wrecks with the idea of turning a profit on the rehabs.
The Real L Word (Showtime, 10 p.m.): Season Three ends with Whitney and Sara having some setbacks on the way to getting married.
Friday: America’s Next Top Model (CW, 8 p.m.): It’s the week for nude photos, and someone doesn’t want to play along. Haven’t all these contestants seen the show before?
Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team (CMT, 9 p.m.): A seventh season begins the way the previous seasons typically have: a mass audition at Cowboys Stadium to cut the hundreds of hopefuls to a more manageable number.
Cheer (CMT, 11 p.m.): An obvious companion with what leads into it, this series follows a competitive cheer squad in New Jersey.
Saturday: I Was Impaled (Discovery F&H, 10 p.m.): The title doesn’t say it all, but close enough! Cases examined on this premiere: a gardener falls onto his pruning shears, and an esophagus is pierced by a French fry. Huh?
Sunday: Breaking Amish (TLC, 10 p.m.): Five youths from Amish and Mennonite families decide it’s time to see if there’s more to life, and what better place than New York? I’m sure this will be handled with all the sensitivity we could expect from the channel that gave us Half Ton Teen.